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LIU Atlas - Crinita-Gelum Belt . There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas. . LIU Atlas - Crinita-Gelum Belt The Ludgonian Industrial Union’s galaxy contains billions of stars and planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds. Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo. Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the Crinita-Gelum Belt, an icy ring of frozen planetoids. The belt is mostly unexplored and uncharted. Spectral analysis has determined that the millions of bodies that make up the ring are composed primarily of frozen volatiles, like water, methane, and ammonia. Several of the larger bodies dispersed throughout the ring support thin atmospheres, but their surfaces are inhabitable due to outgassing, collisions, and unstable rotations.” Doog: “At this time, the belt has very little economic value, and the LIU has invested very little resources into its exploration. Water ice, which is in abundance here, is always valuable, but the dynamic environment makes its extraction too expensive. It’s easier to get water from larger ice worlds, like Fuscus. Because there is little funding, only one man has been assigned to explore the ring. His small, personal space station is where we are headed.” Doog: “Alright folks, I’m here with our guide, Robert Gelum. Rob, I’m guessing that you were one of the belt's discovers? I mean, it has the same name as you.” Gelum: “That honor belonged to my father, Timothy Gelum, and of course, his partner, Lenny Crinita. After receiving little funding, the two departed the ring in search of new discoveries. I secured minimum funding so that I could return to the ring and fulfill my father’s dream.” Doog: “What’s that dream?” Gelum: “To find something special here. This was his one big discovery. He and Crinita traversed half the spiral arm looking for new worlds, but this was their one big discovery. Unfortunately, he and Crinita were killed in a hyperspace accident a few months after discovering the ring.” Doog: “Bummer. Sorry to hear that. So, have you found anything interesting?” Gelum: “Not yet, but I’ve only been here a few months. Most of my exploration has been done from here, using the space station to map the ring. I’ve located at least three bodies that have sufficient size to qualify as dwarf planets.” Doog: “Whoa, whoa. I already dealt with a planet full of dwarves this month. That’s my limit.” Gelum: “What? No, not planets full of dwarves, dwarf planets. You know, smaller than normal planets, but large enough to achieve hydrostatic equilibrium…er…become round.” Doog: “Gotcha. Dodged a bullet there.” Gelum: “Yeah, I guess. Anyway, I’ve only had time to time to explore one of these bodies, which I’ve named Viburnum I. Viburnum has some interesting features, mostly cryovolcanoes, but nothing of economic use. Today, I figured we’d explore my next target, Viburnum II.” Doog: “Let’s do it.” Gelum: “I’ve determined that the dwarf planet has a stable, but thin atmosphere. I’ve been conditioned to breathe in these light atmospheres, but I suggest that you retain your helmet. I don’t want you to pass out.” Doog: “That won’t be a problem. I haven’t figured out how to get this thing off. Why do you think I’ve been wearing it in here?” Gelum: “Come on, let‘s head to my lander.” Gelum: “I claim this land in the name of the Emperor! From hence forth, this body shall be known as Viburnum II!” Doog: “Don’t you have to be the first on the surface to name a new discovery?” Gelum: “Uh, yeah, but…stop ruining the moment!” Doog: “Uh-oh! Looks like someone’s going to first to step on this planet!” Gelum: “Dang it, wait! I had to get my gear!” Doog: “One small step for a man, one giant leap for my fame!” Gelum: “Don’t you do it!” Gelum: “More like one giant faceplant for an imbecile. Did you forget this was an ice world?” Doog: “Whatever. I was first, so welcome to the planet Doogster.” Gelum: “That will never stick Doog. Just give it up.” Gelum: “Take a look at this.” Doog: “What is it?” Gelum: “It’s an impact crater. Pretty recent. The strikes blow the hardened snow away, and expose the blue ice below. Take a look at the center. The strike partially melted the ice.” Doog: “Is this what we were looking for?” Gelum: “No, just interesting.” Doog: “Did I hear you mention snow earlier? How is it snowing if there isn’t any clouds?” Gelum: “Look over there. That’s how. Cryovolcanoes are ejecting warm water into the atmosphere. It freezes and falls back to the planet as snow.” Doog: “Where’s the warm water coming from?” Gelum: “There is some type of force acting on the planet, presumably tidal forces due to gravity. The dwarf planets must be exerting gravitational forces on each other. I’m not an expert on this type of thing. We’ll need a full scientific study to know for sure. First, we must secure more funding. Let’s continue.” Gelum: “Now this is interesting. It almost looks like something has been using this canyon to descend the plateau to get to the ice plains.” Doog: “What? How can you tell?” Gelum: “The snow has been rubbed away. And this isn’t from an impact. No, it’s much too irregular. I feel like we’re close to something.” Gelum: “LIFE! Ha ha! I’ve done it!” Doog: “Chill out man. It just looks like some weeds. What’s the big deal?” Gelum: “These aren’t plants Doog. It’s some type of lichen. Maybe something new to science. For something to survive these conditions with nothing but ice and snow, it’s amazing! Think of the possibilities! They will have to fund an expedition here.” Doog: “Good for you, Rob. I guess you’ve done it.” Gelum: “I need to get samples. And a name! Yes, I discovered a new species! I’ll call it Gelum’s Lichen…no…Gelum’s Weed. Ha! That way you’re included too!” Doog: “Uh, Gelum. I think you need to take a look at this.” Gelum: “Not now! I have so much to do!” Doog: “Uh…no…seriously. You need to see this!” Gelum: “Not now!” Creature: “GRRrrrunt!” Gelum: “By the Emperor’s grace! An animal!” Doog: “I saw it first, Mr. Not Now. I shall call this beast Doogus Awesomesaurus!” Gelum: “Ha! We’ll work on the name later. For right now, I just need to get some scans. Are the cameras rolling?” Doog: “I hope so. Otherwise, I’m not getting paid.” Gelum: “They’re amazing. They must feed on the lichens, and their fur must keep them warm in these brutal conditions. And six legs! They must make locomotion on the ice easier! I’ll need a full biology team here now!” Doog: “Wait! What’s that on the horizon?” Gelum: “Where? Oh, I see it! Come on!” Gelum: “It appears to be one of the animals, but dead.” Doog: “You mean a Doogus Awesomesaurus.” Gelum: “Most of the flesh, meat, and hide have been removed. Interesting.” Doog: “Do you think there is a predator here? Like a Doogus Awesomesaurus Rex? Gelum: “LOOK! I can’t believe this! Is that a tool? There’s a predator here alright, but it appears we have an intelligent being!” Doog: “It looks sort of fresh.” Gelum: “Yeah, it can’t be far. Come on.” Gelum: “For our safety, I brought a ballistic weapon.” Doog: “Old school, I like it.” Gelum: “There are several protocols for interacting with new cultures and sentient beings. Just follow my lead.” Gelum: “L...l…look!” Doog: “Oh crap, what do we do?” Gelum: “We…uh…we observe it out of sight. I think.” Doog: “How are we going to get out of sight here? We’re on an endlessly flat ice plain.” Gelum: “Shhh. Maybe it won’t see us. Let’s just observe. Primitive housing, use of tools, clearly signs of sentience. It appears to be a hunter-gatherer culture; there’s meat and it looks like they have collected some lichens.” Doog: “Uh, Gelum. I think it sees us!” Doog: “Oh %#$&! It can fly! Shoot it! Shoot it!” Gelum: “Ah! I don’t know what to do!” Being: “Wewe ni nani!” Gelum: “We c-c-come in peace. We mean you no harm.” Doog: “Unless you try to hurt us, then we mean you a lot of harm!” Being: “Wewe hatia juu ya nchi yangu!” Gelum: “Me Rob. Him Doog.” Doog: “What up?” Being: “Mimi nina nyati wawindaji.” Doog: “What?” Gelum: “I don’t know. This is pointless. I need a translation team or something. I’m not trained for this. Uh, we leave now. Good to meet you.” Being: “Biashara?” Gelum: “Wait, he’s putting down his spear.” Doog: “And picking up some meat. He’s going to beat us with his meat! How degrading!” Gelum: “No, I think he wants to trade.” Being: “Biashara?” Gelum: “Give him something!” Doog: “You give him something! Give him your gun.” Gelum: “What! No! I’m not giving him an advanced weapon. I could change the balance of power or start a war or something.” Being: “Biashara!” Gelum: “Give him your microphone! Hurry, he’s getting angry.” Doog: “He can pull this microphone from my cold dead fingers! I’ll never give it up.” Gelum: “What do you suggest we do then?” In Unison: “RUN!” Being: “Kifo chako zakulaiki!” Doog: “Well folks, that was a close one. The Crinita-Gelum Belt is one of the most interesting places I’ve ever been. It’s home to a dwarf planet that is teeming with life. We’ve discovered a new sentient race and several other species. You can now add famous explorer to my résumé. Rob Gelum and his newly acquired crew will have their work cut out for them. See ya!” Note: To: Terrance McDoogal From: The LIU Bureau of Naming Reference: Naming Rights within the Crinita-Gelum Belt We regret to inform you that your suggestion for the name of the newly discovered planet, ‘Doogster’, has been rejected and will henceforth be known as Viburnum II. However, due to the overly complex rules regarding species naming rights, the creature you discovered, ‘Doogus Awesomesaurus’ will remain in use until a more suitable name can be agreed upon. STOP CALLING US! Thanks.


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