Hamlet Rap . MIT Round 1 Master Shifu vs Raviel Ze Mocist! An entry for the 2012 MIT, Round 1 .
Opponent: Raviel Ze Mocist!
Link back to the 2012 MIT
Category: "Telivishun is gooder then reeding! Take your favorite book or classic piece of literature and turn it in to a modern television show. It can be a sitcom, reality show, soap opera, cop-drama...whatever you want!"
... er, SNOT and SNARL would like to do Rap-umentary/music video live on location ... with guest rapper, ahem, Hamlet ... Here goes nothing ... HIT IT!
SNOT: Hey, yo, Hamlet!
SNARL: What's your worry?
HAMLET: My uncle killed my dad and (bleep) my mommy.
SNOT: That is insane!
SNARL: Does it drive you looney?
HAMLET: To the "to", to the "be", "or" to the "not to be".
SNOT: Now, Ophelia, your love!
SNARL: Are you getting some nookie?
HAMLET: The girl's so demure I'd be happy with a hickie.
SNOT: She tried to win your love.
SNARL: But why did you go batty?
HAMLET: I told her to get lost, "get thee to a nunnery".
SNOT: The proof is in the pudding.
SNARL: What did your uncle see?
HAMLET: The Murder of Gonzago, oh, he's so guilty.
SNOT: Polonius tried to eavesdrop.
SNARL: When you chat with your mommy?
HAMLET: He hid behind the curtains, so I slayed his fanny.
SNOT: Your uncle thinks your mad.
SNARL: Did he wanna get rid of thee?
HAMLET: He sent me to England with my two buddies.
SNOT: It's Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
SNARL: Were they bad company?
HAMLET: Sent them to their deaths 'coz they're no good to me.
SNOT: Laertes cannot believe it.
SNARL: 'Coz Ophelia's now crazy?
HAMLET: He blames me for his woes, what a (bleep)ing bully.
SNOT: Ophelia had drowned.
SNARL: Isn't that a pity?
HAMLET: And now Laertes, in fencing, wants to challenge me.
SNOT: So the clown digs a grave
SNARL: And unearthed somebody?
HAMLET: A boner of a skull from the past, a memory.
SNOT: Y-Y-Y-Yorick was his name.
SNARL: How could it possibly?
HAMLET: "... a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy".
SNOT: To the fight! To the fight!
SNARL: What's your strategery?
HAMLET: Ah, er, simple, beat his sorry booty.
SNOT: He struck you first.
SNARL: But why you look woozie?
HAMLET: What a cheater's blade, that poisoned tip is deadly.
SNOT: But you struck harder...
SNARL: Wait, what's wrong with mommy?
HAMLET: She drank the poisoned wine that was intended for me.
SNOT: Slash that sucker!
SNARL: Is that enough for Claudy?
HAMLET: Let him drink his wine for a double whammy.
SNOT: But Hamlet, you are dying.
SNARL: Have you avenged your daddy?
HAMLET: Let Fortinbras be the heir, save Horatio to tell my story.
SNOT: This is the legend.
SNARL: Of a dude who's our homey.
SNOT and SNARL: Yo Hamlet is da man with a grievous tragedy!
SNOT and SNARL and DJ Shifu: PEACE!
The backwall was inspired by the ballroom's arched windows in Kronborg Castle, where Elsinore Castle was based off in Hamlet.