Dear Santa, . .
Feeling wholesome Christmas bliss,
Endeavoring to write my list.
Got my paper, got my pen,
Let me try this thing again.
Santa, you’re the coolest dude,
And I’m not meaning to be rude,
But last year’s gifts left me dejected –
The stuff I got wasn’t expected!
I got seven fuzzy sweaters,
And this thing that opens letters,
I received a fountain pen,
And a box of Just for Men,
Three self-help books from the mall,
Sample cheeses big and small,
A pocketknife and two canteens,
Some exotic coffee beans,
Hanes for Him with comfort edges,
Hedge trimmer to trim the hedges,
Solar flashlight, Miracle Ear,
Underwater scuba gear,
High-grain leather car seat covers,
Chicken Soup for Gerbil Lovers,
Stone-washed denim name-brand jeans,
A thousand gourmet jelly beans,
Carbon-bonded captain’s chair,
Electrum-alloy nose-hair clippers,
Plasteel clamps with no-slip grippers,
Two "Golf Magazine" subscriptions,
"Elvis: Live," the gold edition,
CDRs and DVDs,
HD LCD TVs,
Cowboy hats and brown suspenders,
Board games, blenders, rusty fenders –
What should I do with all this stuff?
It’s time I said, “Enough’s enough!”
Allow me to correct my error,
And avoid last year’s pure terror –
On my list, one thing will fit me:
Lego – it’s all you need to get me.
1) This creation is not meant to be completely factual. Please, family and friends, do not neglect the giving of shirts, pants, and other necessities for this poor teacher.
2) Lego is a nice gift too.
I dreamt up this crazy creation as a way to celebrate the joy of getting those little plastic bricks for Christmas. Even as a kid, the rule was, "If it rattles, it's a good present."
I should point out that every picture I used (on the CDs, for example) was taken from a Lego catalog.
Here's a view of my backyard. I tried to make my house true-to-life. I was planning to make a scene showing me failing to utilize a hedge-trimmer properly. Another idea was to have a scene with a shark chasing me (in my underwater scuba gear, of course!). But I scrapped the idea for doing extra scenes, and chose to just stick with the living room.
This is a lesson in the dangers of leaving your Lego out. My 3 year old daughter did some beautification work in the backyard in the middle of my project. She called it Santa's yard.
Merry Christmas, everyone!