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Assault Walker Texas Ranger
My first attempt at a Mech...be gentle!
About this creation
Okay, fine! It's got nothing to do with Chuck Norris. But hey, made ya look. So now that you're here...It seems to me that no Lego portfolio is complete without a nice mech or two. Okay, actually it seems like no Lego portfolio of late is complete without a crappy Halo MOC...buuuuuut, anyway...After taking a short breather from the last creation (I'm not EVEN going to say it's name!!!!) I decided to try putting something together with what little parts were left to me - all three of them. I also promised myself, mostly due to a hefty work schedule, that it would be done just over the weekend. A refreshing approach given the last one took nine months. The end result was not a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination, but for a weekend's worth of work, I at least felt like it was good enough for posting.

I should mention the astounding work of Brian Kescenovitz. His creations have been haunting my midnight MOCpages sessions as of late. So in the time honored tradition of passing the buck, I suggest you place full blame for this...this...THING on him. Oh, I didn't want to do it! No sir! Huh-uh! But his work is so stinkin' brilliant that after every nightly pilgrimage to the holy land (aka Mondaynoodles Lego Pages), I'd stagger from the computer, glassy-eyed and pale, over to the Legos mindlessly chanting Must...build...mecha! MUST...BUILD...MECHA!!



So anyway, here's my first shot at a walker. Bear in mind I'm not really sure what defines a Mech walker. But this version is complete with big-manly-type guns, missles, a flame thrower, magnetic shield generator (for days when you need that exta protection), and a hot chick "controling the action" by (knew I could get that phrase in somewhere!) burning, stomping about, blowing s#* up, and creating general mayhem...





A few of the non-standard features include:

- Tri-dimensional balance regulation system - cause nothing's more embarrassing during an invasion than your mech falling on it's face.
- Outfacing Magnetic Shield Generator - to keep out those pesky armor piercing rounds, missles, lasers, frap rays, and harsh language.






Other features include:

- Def Monkey Audio Sound System with twin 18" subwoofers - how can you pilliage and destroy without your tunes?
- Freezur Knutz Brand interior air cooling system - I mean, who wants to wreak havoc with sweaty pits?






Possible bumper stickers:

"Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done"
"Keep Honking: I'm reloading"
"Guns don't kill people, Lego Mechs do"
"I still miss my ex...but my aim is getting better"
"Student Driver"
"My other ride is your Mom"




Ssssnnnnfffffffff...aah! Still has that new Mech smell.









I kind of like this section. I put a big 'ol honkin flame thrower on the nose of the cockpit. I thinks it's a cool feature, but ya just don't want to be within a hundred feet of that sucker if he sneezes!






The obligatory Mech weaponry.








My kind of gal! (except for the part where she's 2 inches tall and made of plastic.)









Q & A:

Q: Ngeok asked - "It looks quite sweet but I'm wondering if it can walk, if the 'toes' move (for uneven terrain), and why the back looks so exposed. Still, it would make a nice addition to the battlefield."

A. It does have walking capacity, and yes, the toes move. The Outfacing Gravitational Field Generator provides protection against assault. The result is a Mech that no longer needs heavy armor plating, providing greater speed and manuverability. The field adjusts to surface terrain and moves with the Mech, while being strong enough to where it is sometimes used as a weapon itself, crushing enemies, smashing through barriers, and cracking Brazil Nuts.




Comments

 I like it 
  August 19, 2014
For your first attempt that is one heck of a mech.
 I like it 
  July 6, 2013
Great mech, wonderfully terrifying... but it needs a beard. If it's gonna be a Chuck mech, it needs a beard. Annnnnd maybe a nunchuck. But the nunchuck isn't required, if the beard is burly enough.
 I like it 
  August 19, 2012
chuck norris mech of choice XD
 I made it 
  July 15, 2012
Quoting Caleb Delfs You're right. Two inches tall and made of plastic isn't your kind of gal. 5'8'' and made of rubber is.
LOL! 10 points to Gryffindor!
 I like it 
  July 14, 2012
You're right. Two inches tall and made of plastic isn't your kind of gal. 5'8'' and made of rubber is.
 I like it 
  March 1, 2012
I just knew you'd have something about girls and moms in this description (sigh!) LOL
 I like it 
  November 2, 2011
awsome i love it!!!
 I like it 
  October 17, 2011
Wow that is awesome! Fantastic design. I don't believe there are any words that I could use to explain how awesome it is! Very nice! I also like the background and special affects of the main picture! If you could, please comment on some of my creations!
  May 13, 2011
Okay, I remember the MOC-off now. It's just been a long time since it was agreed to, and I'd forgotten about it... I have the attention span of a goldfish sometimes (It's the amphibian in me). Sorry for any confusion!
 I like it 
  May 13, 2011
Hey Mark, A MOC-off sounds fine to me. I don't recall being challenged to one (I've been inactive for a little bit...), but they're always fun. Just let me know where I'm supposed to show up!
 I like it 
  March 19, 2011
fantastic !!!
 I like it 
  March 15, 2011
Nice job!
Mark Kelso
 I like it 
Kyle McAwesomePants
  March 14, 2011
Yep you were right in the beginning. I did come looking for Chuck Norris. BUT i really like this mech =)
 I like it 
  March 14, 2011
what do you mean not good? this is fantastic.
 I like it 
  March 14, 2011
The name was so funny that it's more of a funny name with an epic mech than it is an epic mech with a funny name!
 I like it 
  March 14, 2011
I don't know much about Mecha-MOCs, but yours is truly awesome.
 I like it 
  March 14, 2011
MWAHAHAHA! Epic!
 I like it 
  March 14, 2011
She's great; oh, so's the mech, lol...
 I like it 
  March 14, 2011
Congratulations on the MOTD!
 I like it 
  August 14, 2010
Roses are Red Violets are Blue this thing will crush you
 I like it 
  August 4, 2010
I have a question or two for the creator. How many pieces did it take for you to create this wonderful machine of destruction? Not to enrage anyone,but is it possible for you to make instructions of it?
 I like it 
  May 23, 2010
A very nicely done piece. I especially like the flamethrower. I shall have to try one now myself.
 I like it 
  April 8, 2010
You are outside of you mind, Kelso! Seriously, I almost puked and threw my legos out the window. I had no desire to build mechs... Until now! Of course, my attempt will be like Ghandi vs Mike Tyson in a fist fight; you being Iron Mike. Anyway, I thought maybe you could check out my debut ship (I'd insert a hyperlink but I'm at work and in a hurry). Perfect build, as par for the course.
 I like it 
  December 4, 2009
super mech and even better foto :-)
 I like it 
  September 5, 2009
nice work! are groin mounted weapons like the latest fashion in mechs or something? I've just finished building a really good mech and will post it later some time today. It was inspired by your other dawn forge mech and Brian kescenovitz's schism class mech.
 I like it 
  August 25, 2009
nice one! I like the use of a bionicle foot for part of the flamethrower. great job!
 I like it 
  August 25, 2009
hm there seems to be no words to describe how awesome this looks!
 I like it 
  August 16, 2009
insane check out my arcraft carrier and comment please
Mark Kelso
 I like it 
Master Builder
  June 18, 2009
cool but Cuck Norris is still cooler and could take that thing in a fighte
 I like it 
  April 14, 2009
Very nice, the name is really funny.
 I like it 
  February 21, 2009
Whooa ! ... that is one beautiful Mech !!! ... and you say this is your first one ever ? ... *geeze*, i wish i could build Amazing stuff like this at my first attempt !
 I like it 
  February 8, 2009
Great Mech, i really like the missles lauching out the back of it and how you used the bionical foot on the front for a lazer. BTW- my first entry for my SHIP is done its not very good and needs alot of work, Its accually more of a prototype to set the scale for the thing. Check it out if you want.
 I like it 
  February 5, 2009
um, isant walker a texas ranger?!?!?!?!
 I like it 
  February 2, 2009
Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice. Do you know how giraffes were created? I do, Chuck Norris upper-cutted a horse. Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun. Yes, I'm serious.~LL
 I like it 
  January 22, 2009
I LOVE all the creations you have made!!! We should compare notes some time, I very much enjoy seeing your work. Inspiring to say the least! Go Mark Go!
 I like it 
  January 9, 2009
wow, awesome mech!!! all details are nice and great work the main photo, very appealing ^^
 I like it 
  January 5, 2009
Not to mess with this guy ;-)! Great Job with this mech!
 I like it 
  September 26, 2008
That is one sexy-a$& mech. I can't build stuff like that to save my life. By the way, aren't Texas rangers only 6'4"?
 I like it 
  July 27, 2008
Wow, thats awesome! I cant believe its your first one. I love the name too. I made my first mech a few months ago, but I only have one pic of it posted. Have a look if you like. Peace - Patrick
 I like it 
  June 19, 2008
Cracking BRAZIL NUTS??? Thphbbphth Thbppthhhb Thppbbthbphthbbbpth! (Splutters incoherently)...HA! (There, I finally got it out.)
 I like it 
  March 28, 2008
Being a white guy with zero cool factor and a desperate need for compensation, I find the ate-one-too mighty enticing...do they come in plaid?
 I like it 
  February 24, 2008
oh, common! your first ATTEMPT?? you naughty naughty boy. that is extremely well done for a first try. I'm not gonna do a sentence with the word talent in it... damn, did it anyway. must 've been an invisible hand typing, HU-HUM...
 I like it 
  February 8, 2008
Another beautiful creation - but what else should one expect from an artist. Lee.
 I like it 
  February 8, 2008
It looks awesome,I really like the cockpit.Great job on the graphics too!
 I like it 
  February 7, 2008
looking at Brian's stuff is kinda like crack isn't it? As for your Mech Mark, the overall form, excellent. The design of the weapons systems, simple yet highly effective. the bumper stickers... Priceless. (come on, if you didn't see that coming then you just aren't trying anymore). Your stuff never ceases to nauseate me. Not because of the reasons most would think (don't everyone go to my site and give one's without reading the rest here) but because on my meger public servants salary, lack of free time, and lack of bricks, I'll never be able to produce anything approaching your artwork. keep it up ~ Chris.
 I like it 
  February 7, 2008
Welcome to the dark side Mark…it’s good to have you here. ;-) Many thanks for all the kind words…high praise indeed from the builder of one of the most stunning SHIPs ever. Your mech here is wonderful. In my opinion, form, structure, and stance are the most important aspects of a mech and this baby is strong in all three. Add to that the nice detailing and serious but not to over the top weapons and you’ve got yourself a winner. Then consider the fact that it’s your first mech, built over a single weekend, and it gets pushed straight to amazing! Really, I hope you try your hand at more. Heed the voices in your head Mark…they’re calling to you…must…build…mecha! MUST BUILD MECHA!!
Mark Kelso
 I like it 
Nunoyo Bizznizz
  February 6, 2008
Of course it's excellent. That's all you know how to do. Maybe you'll come over to the darkside now and make more mechs.
 I like it 
  February 6, 2008
I do say, that is a fine mech you have got there.
 I like it 
  February 6, 2008
I now see why it's named Walker Texas Ranger. It breathes fire... Everything explodes around it... Yep... that's Chuck Norris. Anyways, Nice. Keep building mechs and I hope to see more in the future.
 I like it 
  February 6, 2008
Okay, the mech itself is first rate and very cool but your bumper sticker suggestions had me on the floor laughing. Dude, you rule.
 I like it 
  February 6, 2008
Like all of your creations, there are a lot of awesome little details here to appreciate. The legs are really well made, and I liked the way you used that bionicle foot piece in the flamethrower. The whole thing looks very rugged and overall amazingly realistic. Keep building!
 I like it 
  February 6, 2008
I love all the little details ... you added to this piece. I don't have the patience or the parts for so many details.
 I like it 
  February 6, 2008
I'm sure everyone here loves this (i do too!) but Chuck Norris don't need no mecha!He just roundhouse kicks everything… hah! good job, keep it up. *pat on back*
 I like it 
  February 6, 2008
I'm gonna go with "Ukranian Polkas Rule". Nice mech. Looks like a semi on legs.. 8o
 I like it 
  February 6, 2008
Excellent work!!! Are you sure that it's your first mech?!?!
 I like it 
  February 6, 2008
Nice job being a weekend warrior with this one! You built a great looking mech with lots of good looking mechanical details. The main pic is very well done--Chuck Norris would be proud!
 I like it 
  February 6, 2008
Weaons = Excellent Greebling everywhere = excellent Use of 3 Pieces = Excellent Use of 3 Pieces in 1 Week = Not so Excellet; That would be a lot of fun to sit at the controls at...and the bumper stickers are hilarious. Suggestion: try a few more mecs, and I would also love to see a smaller sized Star Wars MOC.
 I like it 
  February 6, 2008
This is excellent. The captions are very amusing as well. Check out my stuff.
 I like it 
  February 6, 2008
it´s very good to be your first attemp in mecha (althought i did´nt expect less from the builder of the invisible hand). keep up the good work!
 
By Mark Kelso
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LEGO models my own creation MOCpages toys shop Assault Walker Texas RangerSpace and science fiction


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