Heath Flor: “Hey Mark, do you know why we’re here? I got this email
from Phipson for us to meet him here today.”
Kelso: “Not a clue, but I have my suspicions.”
Heath: “You don’t think…? No, he wouldn’t have.”
Announcer over P.A. system: “Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls,
children of all ages!”
Heath: “Oh dear god in heaven, he did.”
Announcer: “Welcome to the Snugglemuffin Elementary School Gymnasium’s
presentation of the 5th Annual MOCie Awards! Here’s your host for this
evening’s event, Chris Phipson!”
Heath: “Phipson! You cheap son of a…”
Mark: “Boy, this should be good.”
Chris: “Hello everyone and welcome to the 2012 MOCie Awards! The annual MOCpages event where your votes decide the best of the best of the past year. First, I'd like to thank Mr. Candyvan's 4th grade shop class for building this stage! Of course being 4th graders they're not allowed to use power tools or nails but I think the paste should hold
up till at least the end. Now then, let's get this dog and pony show started shall we?"
Chris: "Ummm, Rainbow Dash? What are you doing here with a puppy?"
Rainbow: "Well, you said it was time to get the dog and pony show started so here we are!"
Chris: "That's... not exactly what I meant. And couldn't you have at least done your hair? Lookin' a little ratty there."
Rainbow: "What do you want? I'm owned by a five year old!"
Rainbow: "Whatever, this awards show is now 20% cooler because I was here. Carry on."
Chris: "Okay then..."
Chris: “There’s a lot to get to tonight so we’ll start off quickly
with the awards for the winners who were not able to join us for the
show. First up, is the award for best Bionicle.
And the MOCie goes to Victorian on Mud Heap by Mike Doyle. Mike… not the one from the last award, but this one… who is also named Mike and… sheesh, never mind. Mr. Doyle was unable to attend tonight due to an unexpected case of explosive diarrhea. We told him not to eat out of the Nacho Midget’s hat but he just wouldn’t listen. Talk about making a run for the border there.“
Chris: "Glory missed his flight due to the TSA agents not letting him on the plane with one of these. And just remember I have one of these stuffed in my pants everytime you people don't laugh at my jokes!“
Heath: "And that's about ALL you have stuffed in there!"
Chris: "Shut it pirate boy!"
A P Apologizes for not being able to be here but sent an email. I didn't bring it with me but it was something to the effect of refusing to be part of this amateur hour production and not gracing us with his presence until we moved back into the DarkSpawn Memorial Gardens... blah blah blah. Anyway, congrats A P!"
(Still written by Malte)
Malte: "Aarrr sorry.
well, a few words to the other nominees in this category... "A garage
without a Porsche 911 is simply a bleak and empty hole"! I would like
to thank the ravishingly beautiful Cheese-Slopes, Rigid-Hose, Plate
1x1, Thin-Technic-Liftarm and especially Modified-Plate with Clips.
Wow! couldn't have done it without you guys! Thank you!”
(Not written by Paul)
Paul: "I just wanted to say thanks to the MOCpages community for this
award and thanks to Chris for the donut!"
Chris: "You're welcome Paul. And that brings us to our 2012 MOCie Awards half time show! First up for this evening's entertainment... Chewbacca and the Juggling Jabba's!"
Chris: "Well... that's not what I was excepting at all when I booked that act. Next up, back by popular demand... and with a little twist... Ladies and Gentlemen, the HALO Kiddies Boy Band!"
HALO Kiddie Chief: "Wow Mr. Phipson, itz such a honor 2 B back!!!ELEVEN!! But umm, whatz the shark tank 4?"
Chris: "Glad you asked Chief. Get em boys!"
HALO Kiddie: "OH deer god! Wez 2 yung 2 die!!!"
Chris: "Don't worry guys, it'll all be over soon."
Chris: "Wow that shark looks hungry. Good thing we didn't feed it for a week before this. Just look at it tear through that flesh."
Chris: "Remember kids, stay in school!"
Chris: "And now, it is with deepest regret that I present to you... the comic stylings of Stu Delahay... May the Lord have mercy upon our souls..."
**All stand up written by Stu Delahay. Please forward all hate mail directly to him**
Stu: "Thanks Chris, I’ll see you at the secret clubhouse later for those side bets on tonight’s proceedings.
I’m not kidding – I stand to collect $100 in assorted bricks tonight because I have a cheat-sheet on TFOL of the year."
Stu: "Anyway, I should start with an apology.
I won’t, but I should.
You see Chris graciously held up these proceedings and the announcing of the winners for a while to give me a chance to write something for the ceremony tonight.
Unfortunately for him (and you) I’m winging it anyway."
Stu: "Seriously, real life has been a bit rough these last few weeks and I said to Chris “Look, I’m sorry mate. Right now I just don’t feel funny”. He said “You feel funny to me. Kind of sweaty and squishy”. Remind me to change my locks.
It’s been a hard time though. Serious illness in my family, pressures at work, unexpected trouble with my car. Then finally, the day before my vacation, to really kick me when I’m down, my dog died."
Stu: "What, not one reaction? All of your faces stayed the same? Anyone would think you were made from plastic you heartless mob.
So my faithful pet of 12 years was gone, and I felt pretty low. My friend came over to visit me. He looked out of my window and saw my dad, sister and two of my brothers driving cars and dirt bikes really fast down some country lanes. I explained “My family are rallying around me. Some of my Lego friends are offering their support. I said “I haven’t laughed ‘since my dog died”. He said “Why did you laugh when your dog died?”
Stu: "But enough of my troubles. I mean, it could be worse right?
Luckily for me, someone else is already Chris Melby so things can never get that bad.
I sometimes think it’s a shame that Chris and Deus don’t get married, because now four people might eventually be miserable instead of just those two.
To be fair to those two guys they only really have two problems – everything they say and everything they do."
Stu: "Enough troll feeding and free publicity, I advised last year to not argue with idiots so I’ll take my own advice and let’s get onto one of my favourite subjects. TFOLs.
After last year some people suggested I have it in for TFOLs. That I enjoy being cruel to them. Not true my friends, not true at all.
I think they should be destroyed humanely.
But of course TFOLs are an integral part of the Lego community as I’ve said many times before. And like the rest of the Lego community, I know they can be counted on to do the right thing.
Once they’ve exhausted all the other options.
Of course, TFOLs are only teenagers, so we shouldn’t judge them too harshly. Here’s a TFOL joke-
How many teenagers with ADD does it take to screw in a lightb – LET’S PLAY HALO!!!!! LOL! OMG!!!
How do you stop teenagers hanging around outside your house? Cut them down from the tree and bury them in the back yard."
Stu: "So the Olympics are on right now in my home country. C’mon team GB! This stirring and inspirational event where every four years we gather from around the world to celebrate that China and the USA have larger populations and more funding than everybody else.
Still, as a tiny archipelago off the coast of Europe, it’s heart-warming for me to see team GB punching above their weight in the medals table, but the real reason I love the Olympics is because you hear brilliant names. The Americans for instance have a great tradition of naming children after virtues they hope the child will embody such as Faith, Hope or Joy. Some West African countries pick brilliant names that express what the child means to the parent – Blessing and Treasure are amazing examples.
Of course, I’m English so my kids can be glad I don’t follow the same idea:
“This is my son ‘Scorer of the winner Vs Germany’ and of course my lovely daughter ‘Not pregnant at 15'."
Stu: "Some quick ones to finish on:
What do you call a dinosaur who can’t sit down? A Mega-sore-ass.
What has twelve legs, one eye and stinks of fish? Three blind mice and half a haddock.
Two cacti are growing in the desert. One turns to the other and says “Phew, bit hot isn’t it? The other says “BLOODY HELL IT’S A TALKING CACTUS!!!!!”
Stu: "Thank you for your time. You’ve been the audience whether you liked it or not, I’ve been Stuart Delahay. RIP Poppy. Go VLUG! Lets get on with the show!"
(Written by Sebeus)
Sebeus I: “Arrrr! I thank ye for the votes swabbies, with great honor
(and courage) I stand here on this rickety scaffolding.
Complications arose, ensued, were overcome, now that I stand here I
feel bold enough to ask; Where is that scallywag that listed me in the
wrong category, I’ll keelhaul you...on every ship I've got!
Thank you for listening”
(NOT written by Blake)
Blake Baer: "I would say thank you but I KNEW I had this one in the bag. I mean look at me... I'm Blake Baer! That is all. This trophy is going to get pawned off for more brick directly after the show. That's about all it's worth anyway is scrap."
Chris: "What a magnanimous individual. Moving on to the personal awards for builders. These individuals were nominated not for their individual mocs, but for the person they are... or pretend to be on the internet, whichever is more accurate. Our first category is for Most improved builder.
And the nominees are: LukeClarenceVan The Revanchist, E.B., Chris Stone, Annie Corder,
and R.K. Blast.
(Written by Luke)
LukeClarenceVan The Revanchist: "Thanks Mr. Phipson, I'll just take the podium for a minute... Firstly, thanks everyone! Being nominated was a tremendous honour, and to win is a dream come true. Naturally, this wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for my family financing my LEGO addiction and being so supportive. Then, when I really became active on MOCpages during last year's MocOlympics I learned so much about building techniques and photography from everyone here on MOCpages, and now I'm up here winning this incredible honour. All said, I'm overjoyed to win this, and I owe you all a drink... Have fun collecting."
(Not written by August)
August: "Well, this would be a great honor under any other circumstances but Chris couldn't even pony up the cash to get my proper sigfig so I'll just say to the rest of you... thanks!
And the MOCie for TFOL of the year goes to... Blake Baer!
(Not written by Blake)
Blake: "Great... just what I need... another piece of junk collecting dust on my mantle. Couldn't you just give cash awards or something?"
Chris: "And now we come to the coveted AFOL of the year award! Well... it WAS coveted until people like Kelso and me won it. Hopefully someone can bring some dignity back to this award that's been on a steady downhill for two years now. Anyway...
your nominees are: A P, El Barto !, Mr. Xenomurphy, Parrington Levins,
and Garry King.
And your AFOL of the year is... Mr. Xenomurphy! So no... looks like we'll have to wait another year. Oh well, come on up Xeno!
(Written by Xeno)
Mr. Xenomurphy: "*harrumph* Thank … thank you for being here with me this
evening. My name is Orville Xenomurphy and I’m an alcoh…
Phipson: "**Whisper whisper whisper**"
Xenomurphy: "Right … right. An award … how awkward. Well, that’s great
news. I’d like to thank about 7 billion people, that should cover
everybody I’ve ever met or is involved into this Schlockpages thing …"
Xenomurphy: Right. This is a great day for me and I’m honored to be
voted best Megablocks …mocs-builder... Um, Playmobil? Barbie? Never mind, I'll just go sit down now before I get something thrown at me."
(Not written by Xeno)
Chris: "Here Xeno, catch!"
Xeno: *THUNK* "Argh! My eye! Awwwwrgggh!"
Chris: "Well that does it for another year. Thank you all those who voted and a special thanks to those that were in attendence to accept their awards."
Xeno: "No seriously, this hurts! I'm bleeding!"
Chris: "It's been a great year and hopefully we won't have to do this show from a McDonald's parking lot next time! One can only hope... Have a great year everyone and keep on bricking!"
Xeno: "Someone! Anyone! For heaven's sake call an ambulance!"
Heath: "Well, now that that's over... you do realize of course that we're going to have to beat the snot out of Chris on the way to his car right?"
Kelso: "Yes... *sigh* yes I do.
Kelso: "Well, let's do this thing..."
Fourth Wall Commentary: Since it was such a long show I'll be brief
here. Thanks to everyone who submitted nominees and voted for this
year's winners! This show couldn't take place without each and every
one of you! I must admit though that this MAY be the last year for the
MOCie Awards. 5 years is a pretty good run for any sort of annual
event around here and we're just not getting the same turnout as in
past years. That being said, don't be sad. I didn't say it WAS the
last one, just that I have to really think about it. And... if it IS
the last, then we've got something in the works for an annual summer
(northern hemisphere) event that'll fill the gap (insert own joke
about me filling a gap here).
Alrighty all, the next MOCpages wide event will be the 2012
MocOlympics! I'll be getting the group together and looking for able
bodied judges over the next couple of weeks. See you all there for the
Quoting Ironknuckles, Ruler Of All Darkness
That was NOT Rainbow Dash!!!!
I don't know what's funnier. The fact that you cared enough to leave only that as a comment or the fact that you're incorrect and that IS in fact, Rainbow Dash. (psst, check the older generations of MLP and you'll see. Not every version had wings. Having a young daughter makes one look into these things...) Hahaha ~ Chris.
truly amazing what you are doing for all the people here on the page - great ! please don't be mad with me that i'm asking you here... But where can i see how many people here on MOCpages ? (it's only an interest...) I know you can see how many creations there are on the top site - so maybe there is also this other information... ;-) ??
Interesting-loved the dialogue, progression and humor, really a SHARK TANK? I didn't see MARK CUBAN!
You have to come check out my stuff. I updated the Yeti Polar Bear thingy and I am giving a slick look to all my pages - graphics and bunching things with similar logos and gave all a magazine look! I am having a ball and I am doing it all with PAINT! I do hot have Photo Shop!
So, if Imperial Stormtroopers are capable of taking out mini Master Chiefs, what does that say about the competence of hobbit Spartans?
Wonderful show. It's come a long way from that LIU theatre. I'll blame the economic slump. Still, I do hope we see this again next year. If it's in a parking lot, someone needs to be run over. I'll even volunteer.
Haha! brilliant as always! Congratulations to everybody who won an award (Especially Luke Van...whats-his-face because he managed to beat me ;D Haha. Well done mate. I feel privileged just to have been nominated.) And well done to everybody else who was nominated. The MOCie Awards are always a brilliant show and to think that this could be the last one is quite saddening. But we still get the after party right?
Congrats to all you winners out there. I'd hate to not see this show re appear next year, couldn't we get anybody else to host this? oh, and we really need more Jabba juggling around here; just sayin'.
Hahahaha funny stuff :D. Congratulations to all the winners and nominees. Some well deserved recognition here, especially for LukeClarenceVan who in fast becoming one of the best builders on this site. At least Xeno is out of the picture now so all us AFOLs have a chance next year ;). No but seriously, Xeno you are an inspiration to us all and deserve these awards. I am honoured that I was nominated for the car award, but there is no arguing with the winner – Malte. A big thank you must go to Chris, Xeno and Stu for putting a lot of effort into these awards. Chris, I really hope you will host these awards again next year. 1,500+ visitors in two days proves your efforts have not gone unnoticed. Keep up the good work everybody and bring on the MOC Olympics.
Congrats to all the winners! I'm happy (and surprised) that I was even in the running for anything. Chris, I don't think you should give up on this. I know that MP activity has slowed down a bit, but great builders still deserve to be recognized!
Congrats to all the winners for this year! There's some amazing stuff in those nominations. And you've done an awesome job with these awards mate, I say you've more than earned yourself a rest :)
I like it
August On Holiday
August 10, 2012
Wow! I cannot believ it !!! Thanks so much! Thanks to everyone who voted for me, and thanks most of all to Chris. :) Thanks everyone. This was quite a surpirse to find this out on vacation. There's no internet where I'm staying, so I went to a local hotel. Thanks again! =]
I like it
August 10, 2012
Woah Stewie, where do I even begin here? Man, I remember back a few years a go I had one of those days where a meteorite hit my house, I lost my job, my woman left me, my woman came back! and my neighbors dog peed on my leg. I hate those kind of days. But seriously, is that any excuse to start a roast, and not properly finish it? I think not. So in the spirit of this coveted event (Rolling eyes, but pretending to be serious, but seriously, rolling eyes...) I will finish the job for Stewart the Mime. Drum roll..... Chris Melby, Your momma's so fat when she fell over, she rocked herself to sleep tryin to get back up again! ;O There it is.... Z
Hahahaha as funny as ever!
Congratulations to the winners, the nominees, and me!
Your really cheaped out the location this year! Even the bowling ally was better!
Why do you want to destroy this wonderful thing called the Mocies?
Greatest show on earth. Well deserved winnings. I can only hope that after you removed the baseball bat - from wherever those two might have put it - you make a full recovery and we all will have again a chance to meet the Nacho Midget.
Fourth graders built that stage and it held up for the whole show? You may be cheap, Chris, but you know a thing or two about the safety standards of an establishment. Just don't have the next one in a lumber mill, okay?
Great show Chris and Stu! I mentioned in the help forum some months ago, there should be a section on the homepage for moderator anouncements, that way events like these would get much more exposure. I hope this stays around for years to come, but something needs to happen around how people learn of these wider community events :) ~Thoy
Congrats everyone!! You did it again Chris, another MOCie awards were I couldn't breath because I'm laughing so hard!! YES!! No Halo kiddies!!!! Haha! Hahaha!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Umm... Whatever... Well, another great MOCie Awards, and I hope Xenomurphy... Umm... Fixes himself up. Congratulations everyone who won a MOCie, and all those who were nominated! Can't wait for next years! ~Caleb
LMFAO @ Stu. I totally cracked up when he aid his family was Rallying around him....I don't think too many people will get that one. Excellent job Chris! I didn't even know I was nominated. Who woulda thunk it?! Congrats to ALL the winners!
Hmmmm, I appear to have fluffed the line about my Lego friends offering their support Chris. Apart from that I was great. What awards? Oh yeah, congrats to all the winners and thanks again to Chris for his continued efforts in making this a nice place to be - keep up the good work mate.
Oh well, the pain is subsiding already and the eyeball looks quite good on top ot the award (I hope Heath and Kelso did a good job). Thanks for your votes, and thanks everybody for making MOCpages such a great place. Thank you, Chris, for all the work and the amazing show (in an elementary school gymnasium, oh dear). For me, the best show act was Chewbacca and the Juggling Jabba's, though I enjoyed the rest almost as much as that gag (even looking like a space version of Heath now). Prost!
Snicker Snort BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! The classic tragedy/farce combo with a side of gruesome! But I must say, winning is much overrated. (er, unless I win, um...) No security? No one getting dragged off stage?? -_- NOOOOO! Is there going to be a pre- and aftershow?
Gratz to all the winners.....or....no....they have already been Congratzed so many times,
Then i will say congratulations to all the nominies who didnt won.....
great show, i loved every single bit of it, (mostly the part where Heath and Hark decides to beat up Chris, give him a Slam in the Bam for me)
Fantastic, it was hilarious, love the parts with Heath and Mark,
And I won my first MOCie Award :D
and the halo kiddies made a nice comeback.
Oh and did I mention that I have posted over 30 different ships already, many of them have a crusty barnacled hull :P
Great show Chris! Congrats to all the winners, I couldn't disagree with any of the results! And I'm definitely looking forward to the MOCO's, I have to reach the finals this year! Unless I'm an able judge of course... :P
Okay, first off, that Halo kiddy thing was just plain morbid -facepalm- yeah, so morbid it made me laugh, in fact. Haha, well, congratulations to all the award winners! Each one was well deserved! Oh, and I hope Kelso and Heath don't give it to you too hard Mr. Phipson, or there really might not be a next year. =0 Thanks again, for all you do here on the pages. Looking forward to trying my hand at the MOColympics again! Cheers, ~Ian
What a great show, although I do think if it was held in the sewers on New York it would be more fun! *cough*alligators*cough* Anyway, congrats to all the winners, get well soon Xeno and it was an honor to be nominated. As a H@lo k1dDi3 would say: "ersum!1!!1!" Can't wait for the MO's in a few weeks!
There were a couple rare moments when I wasn't laughing, but they were few and far between. Excellent stuff Chris, your sacrifice to the community is an inspiration to all of us. Thanks once again for putting on the awards (and the show!).
Wow, I never thought that I'd actually win a MOCie, thanks everyone! This awards show was hilarious as always, it's great to see the nacho midget again and the Halo kiddies got their just desserts. Congratulations to all the winners and nominees, especially Blake and Mr. Xenomurphy. (Come on guys, isn't one enough? ;) ) I thoroughly enjoyed reading through this MOC, and the build's excellent. I can only hope that you continue this tradition in the years to come, it's always a highlight of the summer. Perhaps you could get other builders to help out with it like Ludgonious did, if time's an issue. In any event, great work, and I'll inevitably be back to re-read this. See you all in the MocOlympics!