UPDATES! Here is Toa Tortan's revamp. I forgot to mention last time that he is also my self-moc. This particular post is also my entry for round one of the sequeled tournamocoff. anyway, hope you like him! i sure do.
Tortan is the leader of the Toa Tek and is also, unfortunately, the most independent. He spent years fighting in the gladiatorial arena and has accumulated quite a bit of fighting prowess as well as armor in the process. Known for not always being the strictest of leaders, Tortan often allows the persuit of his teams goals to go way, way too far. He tends to keep himself distant and separated from all those around him, his accent and ethnicity only serving to help.
About this creation
BIO:
Name: Tortan
Gender: Male
Species: Vorox
Element: Sand
Occupation: Hired mercenary working for the order of the Toa due to a low budget and lack for a better team leader.
Title: Lord Tortan, Team leader, Toa Tortan, Gladiator, Mercenary
Mask: None on his face but two Rahkshi heads on his chest armor. No power though.
Weapon: Dual swords made from the stingers of other Vorox he has defeated in combat.
Quote: "Come now, some of us have work to do. What is it you want?"
Story: Born in a small Vorox village in Bara Magna. Captured when his village was attacked and wold into slavery. Became a Gladiator and eventually won freedom. Came to Moto Nui to start again and began work as a Mercenary.
Okay, lets get this party started. Here's an awesome front view / pose.
Legs. They're the same so you're not missing anything on the other one.
Weapon, again, the same on both sides except for coloring (which I like)
Waist (would have liked his waist and torso to be bigger, but i didn't have a lot of pieces that were this color) very poseable.
Right arm. Bigger than left arm.
Stinger. Again, not as detailed as i would have liked. I will probably modify him again later, but honestly, i think he looks pretty sweet overall.
Full left arm with sword. He's so epic.
Aaaaand the Backshot.
Alrighty, that's all folks. I got an actual camera to take pics with this time instead of just my ipod and i'll be doing it that way from now on since it looks so much better. Judges, i hope you like it! C&C is appreciated.
UPDATES!
So, I have obviously been getting a lot of complaints on his chest, and after tinkering with it for quite some time, I think I've found something that works better! :D
Here's the full body shot. I modified some other stuff too.
Comments
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Your score: 7/10 This is a very good MOC, but the color scheme is a bit to complex. If possible, I'd try to eliminate as much black as possible to make it look better. The build is sound, but could use a bit of improvement, for instance, he has a hole in the middle of his belly. |
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I made it |
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May 17, 2012 |
Thanks to all of you. Hes still a work in progress but i think i like this version a lot so far. I appreciate all your input profoundly and am actually working on his next version now, as well as a few otuer projects. |
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I like it |
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May 16, 2012 |
I have always liked that Mask, keep meaning to build something with it, but haven't gotten around to it yet. Like what you've done here. Nice build, streamlined and no-muss-no-fuss. Cheers! =) |
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I like it |
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May 13, 2012 |
Aside from the giant honkin' hole in his stomach, he looks pretty darn cool! Keep on MOCing! :) |
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I like it |
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May 12, 2012 |
Very nice! The design is very nice, although if those gaps were filled in it would be even more awesome. |
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I like it |
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May 8, 2012 |
Not bad Chaz. Not bad at all! :D The body design is very unique and the tail is a ittle dcecent. Those are really the only good things about the moc, but good enough for an average score, overall. Your Score: 5.25/10 |
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I like it |
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May 7, 2012 |
There are some big gaps to fill. I also feel you put too many colors on him. Try to cut down to 3 at most. A good entry though and an unusual self-moc. Score: 4.75/10 |
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I like it |
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May 3, 2012 |
Nice work, there are a few gaps that should be filled, and I would try to cut down on the number of browns and tans (maybe stick to just two). Nice photo edit though! |
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I made it |
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May 2, 2012 |
Quoting The Texan Bionicle Builder
The gaps should be filled in. FYI ;) Good take on the custom man!
Thanks. I am still working on him. I'm waiting till later in the competition to actually post him so i can see what i'm up against. |
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I like it |
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May 1, 2012 |
The gaps should be filled in. FYI ;) Good take on the custom man! |
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