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The Best of the Worst: the Original Trilogy.
The second part of my "Best of the Worst" series. Enjoy!
About this creation
Throughout Galactic history, military factions have used their best and strongest troops to accomplish seemingly impossible missions. The names of these elite organizations are legion: General Grievous's 1G-100 Magma Guards, the Republic's Clone Commandos, the Imperial Storm Commandos, the Rebel Alliance's Spec Ops, and many more besides these. All of these elite squads exemplify the best, most determined, and loyal troops of their respective factions.

The following squads are NOT those troops.


Instead, these troops represent the worst, most insubordinate, hap-hazard troops in the Galaxy, who rely more on luck, insanity, and general stupidity to (at the very most) survive their missions.


Name: Nerf Team 5
Affiliation: Galactic Empire
Motto: “No grub, no glory!” (Commander Sky does not approve)
Biggest Achievement: Have received the Imperial “Lowest Efficiency” Award three times in a row.
Background:
Nerf Team 5 is a perfect example of what the Stormtrooper Corps strives to avoid: laziness, insanity, excellent cooking, and worst of all, a women commander. Deployed from the Victory-class Star Destroyer Hammer, Nerf Team 5 is sent on the most unappealing and dangerous missions Imperial Command can think of, such as blowing up Rebel shipyards or eliminating entire tank formations. Although they rarely accomplish their objectives, Nerf Team 5 somehow manages to cause just enough random damage to Rebel Alliance property to justify keeping them in the Stormtrooper Corps. However, the day they that they do slack off and abandon their mission completely will certainly guarantee them an unpleasant meeting with Lord Vader and his Force Grip.


Name: TG-804 (Evan Kak)
Nickname: “Stinko”
Weapons: abused E-11 blaster rifle
Equipment: Whatever junk he can fit in his shoulder bag
Quote: “I'm not lazy...I'm just storing energy!”
Fun Fact: Is undoubtedly the smelliest stormtrooper in the Corps.
Born and raised on Nar Shaddaa, Evan “Stinko” never learned proper hygiene or the benefits of hard work whilst growing up. After he turned 20, Evan left Nar Shadda and joined the Stormtrooper Corps because he thought it would be a good way to see the Galaxy. Miraculously, he passed Stormtrooper Corps training, but was soon in and out of detention blocks for his laziness and smell. Forced to join Nerf Team 5, “Stinko” is happy to be away from clean prisons, happy to be in a squad with a first-rate cook, and even more happy to see a prospective girlfriend in his female commander (who dislikes him intensely).


Name: TG-968 (Algo Nortana)
Nickname: “Cookie”
Weapons: Merr-Sonn A5 grenade launcher
Equipment: Pots, pans, ingredients, and a military-grade chef hat
Quote: “Dinner will be served as soon as the Rebels stop shelling my stove.”
Fun Fact: Once killed a Nexu with nothing but a dinner spoon.
Algo “Cookie” is the son of a wealthy Naboo family; he joined the Imperial Military so he could use his amazing cooking skills to serve the Empire's most important Moffs. Unfortunately, the Empire was not looking for chefs when he signed up: they were looking for grenadiers. So, poor Cookie was given a Merr-Sonn grenade launcher and dropped into Nerf Team. This turned out to be the best thing that could happen to Nerf Team, as Cookie's culinary skills always brighten up the monotony of their missions. Indeed, Cookie is such a good chef, even the squad's steely-eyed commander is willing to forgive his miserable grenadier skills.


Name: Unknown
Nickname: “Harbinger of Death” (“Harby”, for short)
Weapons: Vibro axe, Trandoshan hatchets, knives, and other pointy things
Equipment: blood-covered (aka, ketchup colored) armor
Quote: “I am Death!”
Fun Fact: Likes to destroy Rebel mannequins in his free time.
Found in the wreck of a burnt-out AT-AT after the Battle of Hoth, “Harby” was donated to Imperial Science to figure out who he was; Imperial Science didn't feel safe around his eerily charred armor and love of sharp weapons, so they donated him right back to the Stormtrooper Corps. Given to Nerf Team as punishment for their failure in a mission, Harby is actually pretty harmless to both his fellow soldiers and the Rebel Alliance: his helmet is so charred, he can barely see out of it, making him a bit of a liability to the team. Nonetheless, Harby gets along rather well with his team-mates, and can always be counted on to create a useful distraction by crazily (and blindly) rushing terrified Rebel forces.


Name: TG-2057 (Callisa Sky)
Nickname: None
Weapons: two E-11 blasters
Equipment: Upgraded armor, blast Kama, custom durasteel knuckles
Quote: “Move your backsides, or I'll show you how hard a woman can punch!”
Fun Fact: Her squad has no idea how she manages to fit all her hair into a helmet.
A stunning beauty, Callisa Sky joined the Stormtrooper Corps to prove that a woman can fight harder than a man. Indeed, she proved this by graduating at the top of her class and displaying her ability to dual-wield E-11 blasters. Unfortunately, Sky was placed in charge of Nerf Team 5, as the Imperial Command didn't like the idea of a woman being tougher then a man. Resentful and angry, Sky is always trying to get her incompetent team to complete their assigned missions; Sky hopes that if she successfully completes at least one task, she can get promoted to a position where she can do some serious damage to the Rebel Alliance. Fortunately for the Rebels, Sky's bumbling team will probably never make her dream a reality.


Name: The Money Boys
Affiliation: Rebel Alliance
Motto: “Ka-ching!”
Biggest Achievement: Once defrauded Black Sun's Prince Xizor out of 2 million credits.
Background:
While the Rebel Alliance claims to be a noble and idealistic organization, even the best organizations have a few bad apples. Such is the case with The Money Boys, who are the scruffiest, lousiest, and most un-idealistic troops in the Alliance Military. An off-shoot of the elite Spec Ops, The Money Boys are secretly deployed on Imperial planets to destroy infrastructure. Unbeknownst to Alliance generals, all The Money Boys ever do is cheat and steal money from the local economy; they then use some of the credits to hire mercenaries to complete the missions for them. While this means they rarely see combat with Imperial forces, The Money Boys have had their fair share of firefights with competitors such as the Hutts and Black Sun. However, as long as the Alliance keeps sending them on missions, they'll keep planning up new schemes to defraud the Galaxy.


Name: Gror Phelm
Nickname: “Pops”
Weapons: Projectile sniper rifle
Equipment: Compass, flimsie map, sexton
Quote: “Old tech is best!”
Fun Fact: Fought in the Clone Wars; on which side, he won't say.
“Pops” Phelm is the official leader of The Money Boys, and an old leader at that: his squad estimates he's going on 60. Nevertheless, Pops is always ready for action, especially when there's cash to be made; in fact, cash is probably the only thing that will get him to enter a fight. An old-school soldier, Pops has difficulty using Holocharts, holograms, communicators, or just about any other type of high-tech equipment. This is because he was born beyond the Outer Rim, where expensive technology is hard to come by. However, this doesn't stop him from being a crack shot with his projectile rifle; it's just a pity it's useless against stormtrooper armor.


Name: Ukal McTavern
Nickname: “Smokie”
Weapons: custom DE-10 blaster pistol
Equipment: Medical supplies, plenty of “Smoke-Away” patches
Quote: “Hey! Don't bleed out on me until after I finish eating, okay?”
Fun Fact: Sucks on a plastic cigar to keep his urges under control.
Raised in the under levels of Coruscant, “Smokie” McTavern became addicted to death sticks at a young age, and has been bald and grumpy ever since. Smokie was only allowed to join the Rebel Alliance under two conditions conditions: he must stop smoking, and become a medic to help others. Even more grumpy, but death stick-free for 3 years, Smokie doesn't really care about his patients; sure, he treats them, but he isn't genuinely concerned about their mental health or personal problems. Fortunately, The Money Boys are a tough bunch, so they rarely get hurt, leaving Smokie to pursue his side hobby of making money without interference.


Name: Yobaccalla
Nickname: “Bob”
Weapons: T-21 light repeating blaster
Equipment: Bandolier of candy
Quote: “Grwaa uggg graw braaw!?” [Why do people keep thinking I'm a Wookie!?]
Fun Fact: Has trouble wearing human-sized clothing.
Yobaccalla “Bob” was recruited by the Rebel Alliance for his apparent strength and tech skills. However, soon after hiring him, the Alliance found out a disturbing fact: Bob doesn't think he's a Wookie. Instead, Bob thinks of himself as a rather large human with a lot of hair. Apparently, Bob accidentally hit his head when he was younger, and has never been the same since. Despite trying to convince him that he's a Wookie, Alliance medics met with no success and eventually paired him with The Money Boys. Bob loves his new friends, as they all treat him as if he's a human; they have also given him a generous portion of their spoils. Despite having to face the challenges of being a Wookie who thinks he's a human (such as refusing to recognize his own strength), Bob has adapted rather well.


Name: Zlessia Quol
Nickname: “Finder”
Weapons: Light blaster rifle
Equipment: Pressurized ammonia tank
Quote: “Quol is not stealing credits: Quol is merely liberating them.”
Fun Fact: Hardly ever says a word.
The eeriest member of The Money Boys, Zlessia “Finder” is a quiet Gand with a special ability: Intuition. Originally, Finder was recruited by the Alliance to plot the movement of Imperial battle groups. However, Finder grew incredibly bored with the predictability of Imperial commanders and soon fell in with The Money Boys. A rather morose Gand, Finder uses his intuition to determine winning lottery numbers, figure out passwords, and see the movement of credits. While this makes Finder incredibly useful for The Money Boy's shady business dealings, it makes him an in incredibly lousy team member to work with; he rarely says anything, and often forgets to inform his colleagues of his own plans. Nonetheless, Finder's unique abilities ensure him the lion's share of the team's haul.

Background Info:
Well, that wraps up my “Best of the Worst” series! While the figs may not be the best, at least there's not a lick of Sharpie or clay on 'em. And once again, if you don't like this creation or you want me to join your “213th Star Corps” group, I've got something to show you:

“I'm going to eat you, little kiddies!”


George Lucas: “You know, Steven, I'm not too sure who that axe-weilding vigilante was, but I sure do appreciate his work in protecting the good name of Star Wars.”
Steven Speilberg: “I heartily agree, George. By the way, do you smell pizza?”

Please feel free to rate and/or comment.





Comments

 I like it 
  August 13, 2012
This was great. It was hilarious!
 I like it 
  April 29, 2012
Ooops, I forgot to put a like on my comment!
 I made it 
  April 29, 2012
Quoting Joseph Shaw What torso did you use for Harby?
Republic Shocktrooper from the older Clone Battle Pack. Thanks for the comment!
  April 29, 2012
What torso did you use for Harby?
 I like it 
  July 10, 2011
Bwahahahahah!!!!! :D This is hilarious
 I like it 
  June 12, 2011
Another good one...I like the way you captured the disorganization of the Imperial Army with that dysfunctional squad. Very funny!
 I like it 
  May 30, 2011
AHAHA!!!~ Just hilarious!xD Dude i LOVE your The Best of the Worst series :D
 I made it 
  May 23, 2011
Quoting Jacob Lookadoo I love it, but I don't get the clone kiddie thing. Could you explain it to me?
Thanks for the comment, Jacob! A Clone Kiddie is someone who likes to post nothing but Clone minifigures who are modified using Sharpis, clay, and/or custom parts. There are hundreds upon hundreds of these poor-quality and poorly-photographed creations on MOCpages. Since most Clone Kiddie creations try to showcase "the best troops", my creation is poking gentle fun at them by showing off the "worst" squads in Star Wars. I hope that clears things up for you :)
 I like it 
  May 23, 2011
I love it, but I don't get the clone kiddie thing. Could you explain it to me?
 I like it 
  May 22, 2011
The randomness of this is amusing, as well as the colorful, quirky pictures.
Paul Romano
 I like it 
Mark E
  May 21, 2011
LOL HAHAHAHAH
 I like it 
  May 21, 2011
Hahahahaha! This is really funny, nice work i like it!
 I made it 
  May 21, 2011
Quoting 17 - Chief Andreas L. They are hilarious and the burger looks really cool, too. ( What's your problem with clones? Besides, remember how old the Star Wars- Universe already is. Some generations didn't grow up with Darth Vader and Luke but with Mace Windu and Jango Fett. Clone Wars is as great as any Star Wars episode is. But they must learn to feel the force. ;) )
Thanks for the comment! I understand some people didn't grow up watching the Original Trilogy, and I have nothing against people who like Clone Wars creations. Indeed, I have seen many outstanding Clone creations. However, I'm not just making fun of Clone stuff: by extension, my creation is making fun of the fact that hardly anyone makes "lousy" squads; they're always perfect. This creation is meant to be purely humorous :)
  May 21, 2011
ROFLROFLROFL
 I like it 
  May 21, 2011
They are hilarious and the burger looks really cool, too. ( What's your problem with clones? Besides, remember how old the Star Wars- Universe already is. Some generations didn't grow up with Darth Vader and Luke but with Mace Windu and Jango Fett. Clone Wars is as great as any Star Wars episode is. But they must learn to feel the force. ;) )
 I like it 
  May 21, 2011
nice one ;)
 I like it 
  May 21, 2011
Lol, another really funny lot!
 
By Paul Romano
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LEGO models my own creation MOCpages toys shop The Best of the Worst: the Original Trilogy.Droids, troopers, and armies


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