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The Best of The Worst: the Prequel
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Don't worry: this isn't another "Clone Kiddie" MOC. Just read on and you'll see why...
About this creation
Throughout Galactic history, military factions have used their best and strongest troops to accomplish seemingly impossible missions. The names of these elite organizations are legion: General Grievous's 1G-100 Magma Guards, the Republic's Clone Commandos, the Imperial Storm Commandos, the Rebel Alliance's Spec Ops, and many more besides these. All of these elite squads exemplify the best, most determined, and loyal troops of their respective factions.

The following squads are NOT those troops.


Instead, these troops represent the worst, most insubordinate, hap-hazard troops in the Galaxy, who rely more on luck, insanity, and general stupidity to (at the very most) survive their missions.


Name: Squad 1156
Affiliation: CIS
Motto: “Roger, roger!”
Biggest Achievement: Got within 100 feet of Master Yoda and didn't die.
Background:
The droids that make up Squad 1156 are probably the stupidest droids in the entire CIS Military (which is saying something, considering 97% of the droids in the CIS Military are dumber than dirt). These droids, thrown together by bizarre circumstances, are constantly being sent on suicidal missions by their long-suffering CIS commanders. However, the squad always comes happily back, with only a few missing parts to show for it. The only reason they have not yet been terminated is CIS generals find them useful for sowing random chaos in Republic forces, although the amount of chaos they sow within their own military is wearing thin the patience of many a CIS general.


Name: OOM-167
Nickname: “OOM”
Weapons: E-5 Blaster
Equipment: Extra head
Quote: “Roger-oh, wait – rog – No, wait!”
Fun Fact: The Republic's 8-sided symbol drives him crazy whenever he sees it.
OOM is a standard OOM-series commander battle droid who was accidentally given an extra head during his construction. CIS engineers saw the advantages a second head could give a commander droid (increased logic, better sight, ect.), so they let him pass inspection. Unfortunately, OOM's two heads cancel each other out, causing him to be highly intelligent, but extremely indecisive. This was demonstrated at the Battle of Slin-vor, where OOM surrounded an entire Republic division, only to let it slip away while he decided how his troops would finish it off. Now regulated to lead Squad 1156, OOM orders his fellow droids into all sorts of messes, all the while chattering inanely to himself about only The-Maker-knows-what.


Name: B-2485
Nickname: None
Weapons: Quarren Shatter Rifle
Equipment: Water jet pack, retractable flippers
Quote: “Swim, swim!”
Fun Fact: None; he is a regular, boring Aqua B-1 droid.
While the other droids in Squad 1156 are all dysfunctional to some degree, B-2485 is a perfectly normal Aqua droid. His placement in the squad came about when his division commander found he had a surplus of one droid, messing up the division’s symmetry. Thus, the commander randomly picked B-2485 to be sent to a different division. However, since the other division didn't have enough room for him, they sent him to another division, who in, turn sent him to another one; this went on for almost a week, as B-2485 bounced around various army groups and stalled up CIS invasions of water planets. As punishment for being in the way, B-2485 was sent to Squad 1156, where he is universally hated by his team mates for being “special” (aka, normal).


Name: B-Assassin
Nickname: “You fool, you turned it on-AGAHHH!”
Weapons: Captured DC-15A blaster, Sonic disruptor
Equipment: A mind filled with the knowledge of guns
Quote: “Guns? Guns! GUUUUNNNS!”
Fun Fact: Once blew a CIS cruiser to bits with a precision hand blaster.
What do you call a standard, stupid B-1 battle droid armed with a plethora of weapons and knowledge of every blaster ever made? Answer: B-Assassin. Designed as a cheap assassin droid, this IG-series wannabe was given the knowledge of weaponry to enhance his skills. Unfortunately, this knowledge overloaded his brain, and seconds after activation, he killed his creators by loudly explaining (at 3,000 words a second) the composition of a DC-15 blaster. Sent to Squad 1156, B-Assassin would be down-right horrifying if it wasn't for the fact that all he ever does is collect guns. Unwilling to spoil perfectly clean blasters by firing them, B-Assassin also loathes to fire weapons, meaning Republic clones can breathe a little easier knowing this droid will probably never hurt them...however, he might steal their weapons.


Name: R-4A2
Nickname: “R-4”
Weapons: None
Equipment: Computer jack, hacking tools, access to over 3 million Republic codes
Quote: “Beep – oop!”
Fun Fact: Once opened all the doors on a Republic frigate, sucking the entire crew into space.
Originally a lowly battle droid, R-4's head and arms were annihilated by an ARC's anti-armor grenade. He was then repaired using parts from a captured Republic R-4 astromech droid, and sent to work with his fellow droids in Squad 1156. Not really defective as he is stupid, R-4 is dedicated to opening and closing doors, hatches, and garbage disposals. R-4's lack of weapons makes him seem like a liability to the squad, but his ability to open Republic doors at will can cause a lot of havoc. Ironically, he has access to much of the Republic's top secret facilities due to his R-4 head; if his CIS superiors ever found this out, he would most likely be destroyed and picked apart for intel.


Name: B2-1
Nickname: “Chopper”
Weapons: Arm cannon
Equipment: Buzz saw
Quote: None (is too angry to talk)
Fun Fact: Hates all droids except for those in his squad.
“Chopper” is one of those crazy chaps that sometimes spring up in the Droid Army. A rather dull-witted B-2 Super Battle droid, Chopper was taken from the Outer Rim Sieges and equipped with a buzz saw; he was then told to chop wood for the CIS's Military. Chopper displayed his happiness at being removed from combat by turning his droid overseer into metal mulch. He then preceded to cut his way through three battalions of Droidekas before being contained and sent to Squad 1156; CIS generals figured Chopper would destroy the squad, which would be fine with them. Instead, Chopper thrives in the stupidity of the squad, where he can quietly stew and chop up anything that gets in his way, be it droid or clone.



Name: Peacock Squad
Affiliation: Galactic Republic
Motto: “Comrades, we are all leaders!”
Biggest Achievement: None (too busy bickering to accomplish anything)
Background:
These four clones were given an experimental serum that would make them cautious Clone Commandos. Unfortunately, the serum had two side-effects: the clones became paranoid about taking their helmets off and the “Ego” portion of their brains swelled to twice its size. This means the clones resent taking orders; the clones are proud of this and wear colored chevrons to denote the fact that they all think of themselves as equals. Unsurprisingly, the Kaminoans wanted to have the clones destroyed; it was only through the sympathetic pleading of a Jedi that they were formed as a special squad of troopers who are sent to hot spots. Although they rarely accomplish their objectives, the pompous Peacock Squad still manages to find the time to get into the stupidest fights, behaving like the ego-centric ten year-olds they really are.


Name: RC-1042
Nickname: “Boom”
Weapons: DC-15S blaster, various things that go boom
Equipment: Rapid entry saw
Quote: “All right, this time I'm positive I set the timer for – BOOM!”
Fun Fact: Is missing so many body parts, he's technically a droid.
Clones love using explosive weaponry, and Peacock Squad's demolitions man “Boom” is no exception. However, Boom may very well be the most incompetent lifeform to ever handle them: He never seems to remember how to operate the timers on detonators or how to set a proper ribbon charge. Despite losing numerous body parts over the years, Boom arrogantly insists he's qualified to handle Republic explosives. Indeed, it will probably take a miss-timed frame charge blowing Boom's head off to convince himself that he really is an idiot.


Name: RC-1043
Nickname: “Talkie”
Weapons: Custom DC-15A blaster
Equipment: Ventriloquist heads
Quote: “Look, I'm Yoda! 'Smell like a Womp Rat, you do!'”
Fun Fact: Once met Chancellor Palpatine; told him he looked fat and old.
“Talkie” is Peacock Squad's sniper who has an extraordinary talent: Ventriloquism. Talkie uses his puppets to impersonate just about anyone, including Jabba the Hutt, Obi-wan Kenobi, and General Grievous, to name only a few. Kamino scientists were not amused when his “gift” manifested itself during training; they pointed out Talkie always wears a helmet, so no one can be sure that he's not faking it. Talkie vehemently denies these accusations, and is convinced he's the best entertainer in the Republic. Despite being a lousy shot, the rest of the squad is nice to Talkie; without his humorous talent, he'd be pretty much useless to an already useless team.


Name: RC-1044
Nickname: “Screwball”
Weapons: Lightsaber, trusty vibroblade
Equipment: Flight suit (rip-off of real model)
Quote: “Oh yeah! Whose got da saber-thingy now? ME!
Fun Fact: Stole a lightsaber from the Jedi Archives and now hates blasters.
Whenever Peacock Squad is forced by their superiors to undertake a mission, the job of transporting the troops goes to one of their own: “Screwball”. Originally, standard Republic Clone Pilots were used to pilot the squad into battle; however, the pilots could not put up with the squad's stupidity. So, Screwball was recruited as their personal pilot; however, since his training is not as extensive as clone pilots, he usually crash lands the squad into combat. Nonetheless, Screwball refuses to admit he's a bad pilot, and is always trying to prove this by building models of vehicles. He also refuses to admit he's a poor substitute for a Jedi when it comes to lightsaber combat, a fact which is the source of endless hilarity for the team whenever he accidentally slices up some important piece of equipment.


Name: RC-1055
Nickname: “Macho-Man”
Weapons: Z-6 Chaingun
Equipment: HoloNet backpack with every dating service in the Galaxy on speed dial
Quote: “No! Don't run away! I even bought you chocolate!”
Fun Fact: Painted his armor two shades of color because he thinks girls like it.
The aptly nicknamed “Macho Man” thinks he's the most attractive clone in the Republic Military, and he makes no bones telling every female he meets this; the fact that he's a generic clone has never crossed his mind. Sadly, Macho is consistently hampered in his quest for love by the limited types of women he meets in his line of work: they are usually female Jedi Knights who can handily beat the stuffing out of him whenever he asks them out. Undeterred, and with his faithful chaingun at his side, he is willing to do anything to rescue a damsel in distress...although, more often than not, it's some female “damsel” Jedi Knight who must rescue this love-struck moron.

Background Info:
I got the idea for these figs after I saw the numerous Clone Kiddie creations out there. All the creations seem to do (besides showing the poor Sharpie skills some people possess) is showcase the coolest weapons and armor that clones could have; they make the troops seem invincible. So, I thought it would be funny to make the WORST squads in the Star Wars universe. All the figs are perfectly purist; they may not be the best, but at least there's not a lick of Sharpie or clay on 'em. I plan on making a Trilogy version very soon as well, so stay tuned for some Stormie stupidity and Rebel catastrophe! Oh, and if you're offended at this creation or you want me to join your “Clone group”, I have one last thing to show you:


“Hahah! You're no match for my awesome light-up thingy!”

Please feel to rate and/or comment!




Comments

 I like it 
  August 13, 2012
Love Macho-man!
 I like it 
  March 26, 2012
Hahaha! Great job with all of these! I really loved their bios and Macho Man was my favorite!
 I like it 
  June 12, 2011
laughing all the way...at first I was a wee bit uncomfortable at "bad" clones, but the hilarious profiles won me over. Excellent job!! :P
 I made it 
  May 31, 2011
Quoting 17 - Chief Andreas L. Okay, I see your point. Maybe, my reaction was a little bit extreme, but there are a lot of people thinking they are soooo cool and superior, and when younger builders ask for help they get only offending answers. I'm sorry, my words here were offensive, too.
You don't have to apologize! You simply thought I was making fun of the younger crowd, and you stood up for them; there's nothing shameful in that at all! In fact, it's very admirable; we need more people like you on MOCpages :)
  May 31, 2011
Okay, I see your point. Maybe, my reaction was a little bit extreme, but there are a lot of people thinking they are soooo cool and superior, and when younger builders ask for help they get only offending answers. I'm sorry, my words here were offensive, too.
 I made it 
  May 21, 2011
Quoting 17 - Chief Andreas L. They are great! Though, your intentions show your arrogance. I suppose your first MOCs were ultra-realistic, life-size Death Stars and Star Destroyers,hm?!
I'm sorry that you mis-read my intentions: I am not trying to criticize young and budding builders, as I would NEVER try to quench the enthusiasim that they have for LEGO; indeed, my little siblings all play with LEGO and I learn new things from them every day! With these creations, I am merely trying to make fun of the over-abundance of butchered Clone minifigures out there that are clogging up MOCpages; I view modifying LEGO with Sharpies and clay as detrimental to creativity, as anyone can color a Clone. What takes real skill (in my opinion) is using the limited elements you have to their fullest effect and not going the "easy" route with Sharpies.
 I like it 
  May 21, 2011
They are great! Though, your intentions show your arrogance. I suppose your first MOCs were ultra-realistic, life-size Death Stars and Star Destroyers,hm?!
 I like it 
  May 21, 2011
They are great! Though, your intention show your arrogance. I suppose your first MOCs were ultra-realistic, life-size Death Stars and Star Destroyers,hm?!
 I like it 
  May 20, 2011
Lol love it! "Smell like a womp rat" this does not :D Please comment on mine :)
 
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LEGO models my own creation MOCpages toys shop The Best of The Worst: the PrequelDroids, troopers, and armies


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