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Lonely Slash Jenkins, The Ice Sickle Killer...
Sunday. Snowmobile in the shop. BrickLink orders hung up in the mail. Waiting for the dryer repair man. Boredom abounds…
About this creation

I offer no reason for this tale of mine.
It’s surely an odd one—a bit out of line.

But, if you’ll permit me a seasonal thriller,
Here’s the tale of Slash Jenkins – the Ice Sickle Killer.

Brave Slash was a soldier of fire and ice.
When it came to ice sickles, he never played nice.

Napalm and chainsaw were his weapons of choice.
Ice sickles would fall at the sound of his voice.

So good at his job was Slash, our man,
He’d encountered a problem for which he’d not planned:

He’d sawed his way ‘round the world almost twice.
He’d torched it and burned it void of all ice!

He roamed and he searched, but it all was in vain,
‘Cause from pole to pole not a sickle remained.

“What now?” thought Slash, alone and depressed.
“A new trade is impossible—job market’s a mess!”

“No,” said he to the crisp winter snow.
“Ice sickle-killing is all that I know.”

So, onward he trotted—desperate and cold,
Praying for ice to gods new and old.

He wanted it all, you see, poor Slash.
His sickle-obsessed brain had gone all to mash!


Then out of the distance came an image so scary;
Like Phipson half-naked, it made him feel wary.


Closer, he drew, to have a good look.
This scene was pure fiction, seen only in books.

‘Twas a monkey awakened from a cool winter’s nap,
Prancing toward him with purpose in a cute Santa cap.

Then what happened gave his heart a great leap:
The monkey stood up and started to speak!

“Dear Slash, oh Slash. Give up your war!
This sawing and torching and begging for more!”

“What’s this?” said Slash. “A monkey in clothes?
Who speaks with good syntax in melodic prose?

Who are you, small primate, with a demeanor so spunky?”
“Why, sir, you must know. I’m Christmas Cheer Monkey!”

“Christmas Cheer Monkey?” questioned Slash with haste.
“This confirms what I’ve dreaded—my mind’s gone to waste!”

He turned from the primate, headed into the snow.
But Christmas Cheer Monkey followed directly in tow.

“I beg you, good Slash, go back to your life!”
Said Christmas Cheer Monkey. “Find a good wife!”

“No!” snapped Slash. “That road has been run.
Now killing ice sickles is all I find fun!”


Then happened, they did, upon a quaint little cottage
With a chimney and fieldstone and lots of great SNOT-age.

But most wondrous to Slash was a most treasured prize:
Beneath the trough hung a sickle right in front of his eyes.

“Great Scott!” screamed Slash. “Have it I must!”
His eyes filled with rage. He felt anger and lust!

“Don’t do it!” pled Monkey, his voice full of fear.
But Slash had regained his devious sneer.

He revved his chainsaw, feeling no shame.
He squeezed down both triggers and shot forth a huge flame!

But then something happened. It seemed out of whack;
A massive explosion! The world had gone black!

For, you see, this building was no common lodge.
‘Twas in fact Ye Old Bomb Factory of J. Alfred Hodge.

At this point, you’d expect, ‘twas Slash who died
(A just punishment for all the sickles he’d fried).

But out of a daze woke Slash, feeling funky,
And he saw what remained of Christmas Cheer Monkey.


The moral of this poem should seem very clear:
Be content with what you’ve got, or you’ll kill all the cheer.

Happy Holidays!




Comments

 I like it 
  October 18, 2011
Nice! The builds are excellent and your poem's hilarious!
 I like it 
  September 23, 2011
Haha, so that was yours. I remembered it instantly; also I remember how much I liked it when I saw it for the first time. I really hope you start building again.
 I like it 
  August 25, 2011
That sad little man. He shoul hook up with Leda Kat.
 I like it 
  August 14, 2011
LOL! Well, at least now he won't starve. (Monkey arms, yay!) I love that gun.
 I like it 
  May 10, 2011
So THAT'S where Hans' monkey went to... Marvelous poem, my friend!
 I like it 
  February 23, 2011
Poor Christmas Cheer Monkey! XD
  January 18, 2011
WHAT THE FUUUUU.....
 I like it 
  January 18, 2011
Quoting Matt David Oh, don't worry, it's in the works. Muaha...MUAHAH....MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
OH SHI-
 I made it 
  January 18, 2011
Quoting Andrew Somers
Quoting Matt David HEY! YOU! BUILD SOMETHING!
Turned, the table has.
Oh, don't worry, it's in the works. Muaha...MUAHAH....MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
  January 17, 2011
Quoting Matt David HEY! YOU! BUILD SOMETHING!
Turned, the table has.
  January 10, 2011
Fantastic! Methinks we have a poet in our midst...
 I like it 
  December 23, 2010
thanks alot slash now we know whose causing global warming. ICICLE chk chk FWOOSH
 I like it 
  December 23, 2010
that flame thrower is a beauty
 I like it 
  December 22, 2010
Now that's what I call funny! Very nice build, superb use of the couplet, and death to a monkey. Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like a fire in a bomb factory.
 I made it 
  December 22, 2010
Quoting Mudskipper 4 This is so cool! Love it. Love the poem, love the guy, love the builds. So perfect. Would you mind if I emailed it to some friends?
Not at all. Spread the wealth.
 I like it 
  December 21, 2010
This is so cool! Love it. Love the poem, love the guy, love the builds. So perfect. Would you mind if I emailed it to some friends?
 I like it 
  December 21, 2010
Poor christmas cheer monkey!
 I like it 
  December 21, 2010
nice poem.lesson learned
 I like it 
  December 21, 2010
Dude that's so awesome! I like it as much as my possum!
 I made it 
  December 20, 2010
Quoting 000 000 "Content with what you've got"? In this case a santa hat? I'll be honest, when I clicked on this, I totally recognized your style, but I never expected to be greeted with such prose... what did you major in? English?
Thanks! Actually, I did major in Journalism for a year. Then I transferred to business. My affection for rhyme and writing comes from my dad who taught high school literature for a long time.
 I made it 
  December 20, 2010
Quoting Caleb S nice, I like the monkeys hat. how did you get it to stay on?
Kung-Fu balance.
 I like it 
  December 18, 2010
nice, I like the monkeys hat. how did you get it to stay on?
 I like it 
  December 18, 2010
"Content with what you've got"? In this case a santa hat? I'll be honest, when I clicked on this, I totally recognized your style, but I never expected to be greeted with such prose... what did you major in? English?
 I made it 
  December 14, 2010
Quoting Waffles . Never heard of icicles spelled like that, but it sounds awesome-er. Not much else to say other than what has already been said, so, I will just say that I received an original Slinky® at a white elephant party. Sadly, as usual, not a single white elephant was in attendance. ~Waff
You're the first to point that out. In fact, "Ice Sickle" is an acceptable way of writing it out, although less common than icicle. It works best for me here because I often break the phrase up, referring to them simply as "sickles." Maybe that's not as interesting as I said. I think it is...
 I like it 
  December 14, 2010
Never heard of icicles spelled like that, but it sounds awesome-er. Not much else to say other than what has already been said, so, I will just say that I received an original Slinky® at a white elephant party. Sadly, as usual, not a single white elephant was in attendance. ~Waff
 I like it 
  December 14, 2010
HAHAHA! Poor monkey. Now we know what Slash will be fryin up for dinner. Mad rhyming skillz you do have!
 I made it 
  December 14, 2010
Quoting Chris Phipson It's all or nothing dude, never half haha great work! Guess I don't have to do a poem this year now since you covered it nicely! ~ Chris.
DARN! I knew right after I posted it. I thought to myself, "There's something that's just a bit...off..."
 I made it 
  December 14, 2010
Quoting Master Shifu Leo J Do I hear a whinin'? Snow mobile ain't workin'? Did ewoks cause jammin'? Long hair caught in drive train?
Compression issues, actually. The ewoks don't care much for that sport - they prefer slow gentle rides.
 I made it 
  December 14, 2010
Quoting Heath 'kik36' Flor LMFAO that's hilarious!!! I never thought I'd ever hear someone say "My snowmobile is in the shop". Thanks for making my dream come true. Now I can check it off my list.
No problem. I'll do you one more thing you'll never hear: "I couldn't mow the lawn today because it rained."
 I made it 
  December 14, 2010
Quoting Lee Hardwick 3 things, 1, you have a snowmobile!!!, 2, you have a SNOWMOBILE!!!, 3, great rhyme and pictures to boot. ps, you have a snowmobile!!!!!
Prized Possession #3: 2006 Polaris RMK 700. The only reason I have not yet left this godforsaken state. :-)
 I made it 
  December 14, 2010
Quoting Stuart Delahay Ah yes, the classic combination of cottage and SNOT-age. Bravo good sir, that nicely lightened my Monday morning.
'Twas in fact my very intention, old boy.
 I made it 
  December 14, 2010
Quoting Andrew Somers 0_0 You lost my attention at the lack of suspension... Hahaha. Nice flamethrower and builds, by the way. Oh, and poem too.
How do you know. Christmas Cheer Monkey could be rocking some coilovers under his...skin?
 I made it 
  December 14, 2010
Quoting Tom Simon I'm afraid, very afraid. What happens when you are snowed in for a couple of days and the pages servers are down?
Hopefully, in that case, I'd progress from this Seuss-ish AA-BB scheme to some Shakespearean Iambic Pentameter.
 I made it 
  December 14, 2010
Quoting Ribbits M You sir, have just won one internets. This was hilarious, and the rhyming story made it even better!
Hoozah! I'll put it on my shelf next to my prize interwebz!
 I like it 
  December 14, 2010
It's all or nothing dude, never half haha great work! Guess I don't have to do a poem this year now since you covered it nicely! ~ Chris.
 I like it 
  December 14, 2010
The model is great but the minifig looks amazing!
Matty  .
 I like it 
Gondabuggan Hicburry the Gnome
  December 13, 2010
Nice! hmmm... why does this remind me that we have NO SNOW here in Colorado! it sucks. :( anyway, I love the weaponry, and i am wondering... is this aimed at any doctor baboon that you and i might know? :D have a great Holiday guys!
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
when i saw the fig, i knew it had to be either you or Christian. nice build.
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
I love it great build great story
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
That's funny stuff! Dr. Seuss would be very proud(or mortified).
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
Great story to go with an excellent build!
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
Do I hear a whinin'? Snow mobile ain't workin'? Did ewoks cause jammin'? Long hair caught in drive train?
  December 13, 2010
Me thinks you have poo coming your way, It is Giggles' MO, he must have his say, Be quick man, an umbrella you must procure, Or a stick, smelly mess you will surely endure.
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
LMFAO that's hilarious!!! I never thought I'd ever hear someone say "My snowmobile is in the shop". Thanks for making my dream come true. Now I can check it off my list.
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
Great story! Wicked flame thrower!
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
The write-up was good and the builds were all nice, The weapon was awesome and looked good against ice.
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
A-W-E-S-O-M-E!
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
Badass weaponry!
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
Yup, I am happy with nothing, hehe, nice one dude...
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
Oh, and I love how you made Slash's footsteps in the snow...genious!
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
I really love all those little clean builds. Perfect illustrations for the poem.
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
Thou makest me laugh , fellow poet! Hilarious story...Merry X-Mas, Jens
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
3 things, 1, you have a snowmobile!!!, 2, you have a SNOWMOBILE!!!, 3, great rhyme and pictures to boot. ps, you have a snowmobile!!!!!
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
Ah yes, the classic combination of cottage and SNOT-age. Bravo good sir, that nicely lightened my Monday morning.
  December 13, 2010
The poem takes this from something moderately interesting, into a decidedly enjoyable MOC. Well done.
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
Very Mega Man II. Your retro style fits today's medium with nostaglic bliss. Keep up the good work.
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
Cool! i like the base and the arm of the character
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
Nice story, I love the design for the foot prints, Nice job!
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
This figure is really cool, nice work! I really like the story that goes with it.
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
LOVE IT! Hey if he ever needs more snow to burn, send him to SNOW FILLED TENNESSEE!
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
LOL
 I like it 
  December 13, 2010
terrific! i love the chainsaw/flamethrower, and all the snowscaping (including the stuff on the roof) is very well done. 5/5!
Matty  .
 I like it 
Thoy Bradley
  December 12, 2010
I can relate! Not to being snowed in, but to waiting for BL orders... Great rhyme, loved the builds too. That Flame-thrower is awesome! ~Thoy
 I like it 
  December 12, 2010
You just made my day!
 I like it 
  December 12, 2010
Everything about this moc makes it look awesome! Well done.
 I like it 
  December 12, 2010
Nice words! I like the flamethrower, and the whole git-up is pretty sweet! Great job, Merry Christmas!
 I like it 
  December 12, 2010
I like how Andrew put it. Great story though.
 I made it 
  December 12, 2010
Quoting Hans DendauwNPD Fear not, my good friend, for Giggles is fine; he brings Christmas Cheer, but of a much greener kind. He is quite displeased, with Cheer Monkey's demise; MattBerry should fear, Giggles Christmas Surprise!~H
Why I should fear Giggles, I do not know - 'Twas Slash who killed Cheer (I did write it, though.) But if it should quench your smack-talking thirst, then build away my friend, and please do your worst.
 I like it 
  December 12, 2010
0_0 You lost my attention at the lack of suspension... Hahaha. Nice flamethrower and builds, by the way. Oh, and poem too.
 I like it 
  December 12, 2010
As long as I get Lego for Christmas, I'll be content. However, if there aren't any bricks under the tree this year, Christmas Cheer won't be the only thing destroyed! ;)
 I like it 
  December 12, 2010
This is hilarious
 I like it 
  December 12, 2010
Quoting Tom Simon does Hans know where Giggles is?
Fear not, my good friend, for Giggles is fine; he brings Christmas Cheer, but of a much greener kind. He is quite displeased, with Cheer Monkey's demise; MattBerry should fear, Giggles Christmas Surprise!~H
 I like it 
  December 12, 2010
That is some nice SNOT-age. XD 5/5! ~Stay doodling
 I like it 
  December 12, 2010
I'm afraid, very afraid. What happens when you are snowed in for a couple of days and the pages servers are down? I'm going to go ahead and assume you wrote all the rhymes yourself. I'm afraid, very afraid. BTW: does Hans still know where Giggles is? I'm afraid, very afraid.
 I like it 
  December 12, 2010
Haha, excellent little story. :)
 I like it 
  December 12, 2010
Poor monkey! XD
 I like it 
  December 12, 2010
You sir, have just won one internets. This was hilarious, and the rhyming story made it even better!
 I like it 
  December 12, 2010
Hehe!
 
By Matty .
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