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Of Chainsaws and Tuxedos Part 3
About this creation
We could spend our time writing a long paragraph to bring you up to date, but we'd rather sit around and torture Flare, or at least go out and conquer some helpless country, so we'll just give you a link to the previous episode.




Leda-Face: "…So did you see Bones and Yuri's hair? What was with that?"
SigFfej: "Um… Maybe they dyed it, or perhaps they spent too much time in the sun? Certainly not because my little brother lost the all-important hair piece."
Leda-Face: "Yeah, the upstaging of any Evil Empire always seems to begin with family. Anyways, here we are!"



Leda-Face: "First we have the Deliberately Unusual Mind Monitoring Yin/Yang Machine. It tests the brainpower of various specimens against each other. I figured it would be senseless to let Dennis go to waste, so today we'll be testing his intellect against the common amanita muscaria, or fly agaric mushroom. Normally, I would worry about getting heads into the DUMMY Machine within a few seconds of the patient's demise, but Dennis has been brain-dead for years now with no apparent ill effects. For this test, they will both be asked a question regarding the rules of South-American banana fencing."



Leda-Face: "And the results are in! The mushroom, with a specific IQ of 5.2, has defeated Dennis Price in the first round!"
SigFfej: "Sheesh, what kind of a stupid test is this? At this rate, you'll never get around to testing a truly astonishing intellect! I could do better than both of 'em!"



Leda-Face: "Okay, you will be asked a question regarding the best opening move you could make in a chess game. Dennis and the mushroom will be white, and you will be black. You will have one minute to think about it."
SigFfej: "So… I could move the pawn at the far left out to make room to send out the rook, or perhaps I could bring out my knight without having to break my line of pawns, or I could open a path to spring out my queen… I've decided to move the knight first!"



SigFfej: "What! How could I have lost to a mushroom and a pudding-brained cartoonist? I am incomparably smarter than the greatest minds of our times, and these are definitely not them!"
Leda-Face: "You obviously don't play much chess, though, or else you'd know that white always moves first."
SigFfej: "But there was no brain activity between the two of them!"
Leda-Face: "Neither did they try to take your turn. Face it, man, you screwed that one. Moving on…"
SigFfej: "Hey! Get me out of here…"



Leda-Face: "Here we see one of my latest projects, codenamed A:Domination. It is similar to Dr. Delahay's weaponized animal concept, except that I don't intend for my troops to get blown up. The way I figure it, no-one can resist a kitten, yet they are so deviously wicked underneath all of that adorableness! Place the little kitty in the driver's seat of a menacing Catastrophic Annihilating Terrestrial quad-walker with a load of high-powered cannons, and you've got an unstoppable combination!"



Leda-Face: "Here in the front of the mech, we have the Front-Aligned Nimbus-Generating Sabers. They are placed in between the Spitfire Cannons in the head and are capable of biting through plate metal up to an inch thick."



Leda-Face: "Here you can see the fully articulated feet. They provide a high level of stability when both moving and participating in paw-to-paw combat. Each foot has a Chromium-Lithium Alloy Wrecking Saber embedded in it for when you're too close to simply blast your enemies without blowing yourself sky-high as well."



Leda-Face: "Over the cute, fuzzy head of the driver are mounted two Super-Powered RAY cannons that fire a concentrated beam powerful enough to scare away any enemy and secure their territory for yourself."



Leda-Face: "Test-driving this model is my second-in-command, Tobias-Kat. On top of being the cutest creature alive, he is also a brilliant technician who helped design the CAT mech, he also engineered the special Concentrated Accelerating Turbocharged Nitro Infused Petroleum that we use to fuel these gorgeous death-dealing battle machines."



Leda-Face: "Imagine, if you will, the world leaders meeting to discuss world peace all in the same room. Then imagine a rat poking it's little head out of an all but invisible mouse-hole with an impossibly humongous bundle of dynamite strapped to it's back! It approaches the president of France, smelling brie and roquefort, and upon reaching his immaculately pressed trouser leg, detonating and taking all of the world's greatest leaders eliminated in one fell swoop, just waiting for someone with a powerful enough army to step into their oversized shoes and take over!"
SigFfej: "That's horrible!"
Leda-Face: "I know, those little vermin are actually kind of cute. What a shame to blow them up, but I'm not about to use cats to do it! The plan is to teach one rat to run up to people in expensive suits, while the other rat presses the plunger once its partner reaches the target. If they do it right, they are rewarded with a piece of cheese."



SigFfej: "Hey, I'm wearing an expensive suit! Get it away from me!"
Leda-Face: "Don't worry, we usually don't get the dummy explosives mixed up with the real stuff. Moving on. We'll exit through the door behind you."



SigFfej: "What's that?"
Leda-Face: "That is the way to Nate's vic-viper hangar, home of some of the greatest ships ever."
SigFfej: "Wow. If I wore a hat, I'd remove it in deference."



Leda-Face: "In this workroom, we're working on our own miniature variant of the iconic viper. Victor is our test pilot; he flies the craft and helps design each new version. Here, we literally put the Vic in the Viper. Putting the kitty in the cockpit instead of a human pilot means that we can put up smaller ships with more room on board for weaponry."



Leda-Face: "This version, the Killer Intercommunicating Turbocharged Triple-phase Engine Nuclear-powered scout vessel, is not prepared to receive weapon systems yet. Right now it is designed to be able to move quickly and in swarms that work together with on-board computer systems that constantly update each other with information regarding the current situation in order to perform complex maneuvers as one unit."



Leda-Face: "Here, we are working on our obedience training techniques. Toto is helping invent methods of ensuring absolute compliance. You see, once the world leaders are out of the way, I can't rule all of the countries simultaneously by myself, so I'll put puppet rulers in place, but I'll need a way to make certain that they won't get any big ideas about being able to run things on their own!"



SigFfej: "You know, Leda, I really find this all absolutely disgusting."
Leda-Face: "What, that I intend to rule the world through men with no will of their own and do what I wish with absolute impunity?"



SigFfej: "No, I'm disgusted that you would go to all of that work to kill off Phipson in your Death By Kitty comic only to bring him back for some twisted Silence of the Lambs reference. You and your horror movies…"



Leda-Face: "At last, we have reached the heart of my operation and the reason you are here. I know what you're thinking, "This is just like Stuart Delahay's If I Could Invent Anything Mob Rules entry." Well you're wrong. I'm not interested in family and security funded by the government. I'm interested in formulating the greatest world takeover plot of all time!"



Leda-Face: "And after a long day of ruthless scheming and wicked cackling, I need some "Me time". A few moments to sit back in my throne and think about my happy place in the back of my mind and de-stress."
SigFfej: "But what does this have to do with me?"



Leda-Face: "You will massage my feet while I formulate my evil strategies."
SigFfej: "WHAT?!"
Leda-Face: "You didn't think I needed you for your brains did you? I'd rather team up with Yuri and Bones, if I was the teamwork type!
SigFfej: "But one of them kidnapped me, and you bumped them both off!"
Leda-Face: "Are you kidding? I put them up to it! I had fully intended to include them in my plans until they demanded a bigger piece of the pie. I didn't like the idea of sharing, being a cat person and all, so they had to go. Now RUB!"



Leda-Face: "On second thought, you will have to wait. Someone's tripped my security system, and I'll have to deal with that unfortunate sod first, but when I get back, you'd better rub the lotion on my feet, or else Toto will give you the hose!"



Okay, so that's it from me. I'm in college now and won't have time for anything until Christmas break. It's been a fun year and a half of being on MOCpages, but I'm outa' here until further notice. Actually, I intend to hang around, just not build anything. Peace out!








Comments

 I like it 
  September 16, 2012
This whole trilogy is absolutely hilarious.
 I like it 
  February 25, 2011
Not sure how I missed this one, great stuff, Dude! But I don't get the connection between the French President and the world's greatest leaders?
 I like it 
  October 4, 2010
Your story, presentation and builds are outstanding. Great work.
 I like it 
  September 7, 2010
Hahahaha! Loving the acronyms, the nnenn tribute, the humour throughout is great. I love all the individual builds and the presentation as per is super. I'm flattered to be referenced too, but the whole weaponised animal thing stems from far darker minds than mine - There was genuinely an American research program during WW2 to mount fire-bombs on bats! I hope college goes really well for you, and keep an eye out on the pages - once the MOC-Os finish I intend to start abusing some sig-figs.....
 I like it 
  September 5, 2010
Great stuff :D
Jeff Fauble
Jorge Kemper
  September 4, 2010
This was a great build and the humor is great too. 5 points!-George
 I like it 
  September 4, 2010
Haha love the acronyms!
 I like it 
  September 4, 2010
Wow those sets are sublime. What a remarkable series this has been, thanks so much for letting Leda-Face explore the facets of evil intelligence lurking in her little yellow brain, and giving her such an awesome workshop and home. It is really inspiring and I feel kinda bad I clunked you on the head with the but end of her chainsaw... Wish I had one of those C.A.T mechs growing up with two older brothers...
 I like it 
  September 4, 2010
(4) points.
  September 4, 2010
Quoting Jeff Fauble <snip snip> (Although the consequences of Leda taking over the world will likely lead to your death anyway.)
I don't know, I'm pretty good with massages...
 I like it 
  September 3, 2010
I just finished reading through both... OMG LOL stuff aside, your pages always stun me for the quality of your photos.
 I like it 
  September 3, 2010
Score of 5
  September 3, 2010
4 points, FYI spelling mistake in the title.
 I like it 
  September 2, 2010
Excellent build and writeup (as usual)!
 I like it 
  September 2, 2010
It's easy to breeze through this only reading the humorous write-up, but it was worth the second look to check out all the builds. Great stuff.
 I made it 
  September 2, 2010
I don't see how it's not, since the whole episode is based around it. I actually built this for the contest before I even made Part II, and just decided that I would use it to kill two obligations with one MOC. I don't think of it as an entry inside of a comic, I see it as an entry that serves the dual purpose of completing a series. That was my intention, anyway. You may see it differently, but I can't think of any rules it violates.
  September 2, 2010
No, I haven't forgotten... I am not sure if this qualifies as an official entry (I'm not so sure if incorporating your entry part of a silly comic would count), so I am discussing it with the other judges. If we decide it is valid THEN I will rate :P So there!
 I made it 
  September 2, 2010
Quoting Flare . Hahaha, excellent work...
Aren't you forgetting something? A rating, perhaps? After all, this was added to your contest, and I didn't kill you. (Although the consequences of Leda taking over the world will likely lead to your death anyway.)
 I like it 
  September 2, 2010
Hahaha, excellent work...
 I made it 
  September 2, 2010
Quoting Hans Dendauw Fantastic stuff, Ffej. Have fun at college and be sure to watch for your Hard Knocks initiation; I promise I'm working on it.~H
I'm so lucky to be at a college with no frats or sororities. Unfortunately, I ended up as a motorcycle gang member by accident. Initiation, what a crazy idea!
 I like it 
  September 2, 2010
Brilliant, that mind monitor thing is awesome, a fine build as well, great job
 I like it 
  September 2, 2010
More funny stuff and some nice builds to boot!
 I like it 
  September 2, 2010
Fantastic stuff, Ffej. Have fun at college and be sure to watch for your Hard Knocks initiation; I promise I'm working on it.~H
 I like it 
  September 2, 2010
5 points - nuff said...
 I like it 
  September 2, 2010
Uh, I'll read it later.....Joking! suolubaF ffeJ! I yllear ekil eht smynorca ouy desu! Taerg krow!
 I like it 
  September 1, 2010
I just had to give it a great,huge,satisfying LOL!
 
By Jeff Fauble
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LEGO models my own creation MOCpages toys shop Of Chainsaws and Tuxedos Part 3Bases & space stations


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