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Monkey ICBS Post
No, that's not a typo. You're gonna need a bigger missile defense grid.
About this creation
Built for Phippy's Spring Fling Contest.

Yes folks, the Monkeys have created an Inter Continental Ballistic Shark launcher. Are we all doomed? Yes. Not only does it fire a shark, the shark has a chainsaw for a nose and laser on its head. I recommend spending time with family or finding a very large boat.

In order to instruct all of you lovely commenters on how to protect yourself, I've decided to create a handy dandy survival guide to accompany this MOC. Throughout my presentation, I'll give you survival tips and other fun facts. Now let's get started!

Before you can survive a Monkey ICBS attack, you have to understand the ICBS. The ICBS is a shark attached to a cruise missile, with all sorts of electronics onboard to guide it right through your door. The shark is armed with a chainsaw nose and single laser strapped to its head. This may not seem very intimidating, but once the shark reaches it's target it gains control of the missile, and can maneuver about the target zone for anywhere from 15-45 minutes, before detonating in a 2 megaton explosion. The best advice we can give you is 'Run'. That, or find a military grade Nuclear Bunker, but that's out of the question for most of you.
Shark go BOOM!

As you can see, the shark is launched off a ramp. Should you encounter one of these launching mechanisms, so much as throwing a handful of sand or dirt can cause the ICBS to be derailed, and most likely land in the control center, no matter how far away it is. The rules of storytelling require this.
Also, the Sharks REALLY don't like the monkeys.

Or if you'd prefer to do more damage to the machine, cut the silver hydraulic mechanism somehow. This will permanently disable the machine, as the shark will fire straight into the ground and explode immediately. This is great for one of those 'Dramatic Last Stand' scenes, where the jerk saves the hero and the rest of the group, but not for most other situations.
Again, there are certain rules of storytelling that must be followed.

A way to disable the machine without the need to go out in flames is to disconnect the propulsion canisters. These provide the power needed to launch the shark before the cruise missile takes over. Without it, the machine can't launch its man-eating cargo. These are easily replaced however, so be sure to give the area around the canisters a good once-over with a wrench or other blunt object.
When in doubt, smash it.

Remember: The ICBS knows no fear, but can sense yours. That's what the antenna is for.
It's a high tech predator.

And now, we see the true enemy. While the ICBS is a dangerous foe, it wouldn't exist without the Monkey. It would most likely still be a Sky Shark. You can tell the operators apart from standard monkey soldiers by their ridiculous headgear. This is the same headgear that is worn by Cardinals of the Monkey Space Church, but these fellows don't have the flowing robes or staff. They also lack the bodyguards. ICBS Hunting Tip: Monkey ICBS facilities have next to no security, and can probably be overrun by a force of lemmings with pencils.
Just imagine how well you'll do!

Another tip for hunting the dreaded ICBS: The monkeys typcially have one line of communication, and that's a land line phone. Be warned though: Without this link, they'll begin firing off sharks at random. This is probably not to your advantage, so only take it out if you're going to kill the operators too.
You can't do these kind of things halfway.

Here we have a Froggy spy. Remember that Frogs are perhaps your greates allies in the war against the ICBS! Monkeys are their sworn enemies, and they'll stop at nothing to destroy them. Keep in mind, however, that the frogs will enlsave you and your friends as soon as the Monkeys within their line of sight are destroyed.
I wonder how this Frog/Monkey war thing got started...

And finally, we see a demonstration of the laser. Before launch, the laser will always be testfired, to ensure it works properly. This is a good indicator of whether or not a launch facility is nearby. Look for a line of bright green light, and follow it to its source.
It's a Frikkin' Shark with a Frikkin' Laser attached to it's Frikkin' Head!

One last shot of the laser, because it's a cool weapon.
Much cooler than mutant sea bass.

That's it for this survival guide. It probably won't help you, as you ARE being chased by a sentient nuclear bomb with a laser gun, but it will give you a false sense of security! Good luck, and happy hunting folks!



Comments

 I made it 
  August 15, 2010
Quoting Carter W. Facedesk* You said anything is scarier with sharks, including lawyers.
Wow, facedesk indeed. My bad...
 I like it 
  August 15, 2010
Facedesk* You said anything is scarier with sharks, including lawyers.
 I made it 
  July 18, 2010
Lawyers? I don't recall mentioning lawyers, but that is a VERY scary thought. Although it would make jury duty quite a bit more interesting...
 I like it 
  July 18, 2010
Wait...Lawyers have...sharks? Oh dear God no. Thats worse that a sentient nuclear weapon.
 I made it 
  June 26, 2010
@000: Everything's scarier with sharks. Tanks, Mecha, Lawyers, etc. @John: I've actually never seen Planet of the Apes, but that's an awesome coincidence. I was just messing around with different hats, trying to find a wacky one. @Shifu: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it! It's always nice to know people find my insanity amusing. It makes it that much easier to lure the guards into complacency...
 I like it 
  June 25, 2010
Hilarious but deadly missile-shark-laser thingie!
 I like it 
  June 25, 2010
Wait, you gave him a Planet of the Apes hat using a red guard thing? Brilliant! It's funny, in ur last brickwar we had a rocket propelled shark that was our savior
 I like it 
  June 25, 2010
Sentient nuclear bomb? Isn't that what AI's are for? Oh wait... sharks are more intimidating...
 I made it 
  June 23, 2010
@Heath: If you add in one of the rubber tipped rockets that goes with the cannon, then it will propel the shark. Not very well, but it'll do it. Other than that, no. @William: A class 4 you say? That would probably work. These things are like cats, you can distract them with almost anything.
  June 23, 2010
Does this entry actually launch the shark? I need to know before making my final judgment and I can't seem to tell by the pics.
 I like it 
  June 20, 2010
Ha! That shark is no match for my Class 4 500 mW laser pointer! (Just kidding, it's only Class 3A and 5 mW.) Oh no! Run!
 
By Ribbits M
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Added June 20, 2010
 

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