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Vendtron 9000
I built an evil Vending Mecha. You can't say that's not hilarious. Built for the 2010 Mech Comp.
About this creation
2010 Mech Contest
Category: Non-Piloted Mecha
Final Score: 17/20

The Vendtron 9000 was developed by Greenco Soda Co. in 2034. Greenco's stock was dropping rapidly, due to the arrival Redcola Inc. in 2032, and the standard outlets just weren't cutting it. In a last ditch attempt to revive the company, Greenco created a Sales AI and mechanized each of their vending machines to be able to cover more ground. Because it was the first ever automated drink distributer, people loved it. Greenco saw their stock soar, and more machines were produced. However, issues began showing up in the AI after about two years...
Two years after the Vendtron was deployed, it began noticing a trend. As competition increased, it's sales decreased. A logical decision would be to remove the competition. Within a month of this realization, the Vendtrons had overthrown civilization as we knew it, and monopolized the soda distribution business. The ensuing reign of terror lasted twenty years before the Resistance finally created the perfect soft-drink and outsold the Vendtron in every market. With their stocks crippled, the Vendtrons were forced out of their monopoly, and fell into disrepair. As for the reign of terror, it continued until the last Vendtron was destroyed in Sydney, Australia where it had been in hiding, disguised as an accountant.
As for the AI system itself, it was a program designed to locate potential customers and make the sale, no matter the cost. However, as time went on, the machines went further and further to fulfill their programming. There have been reports of single machines somehow setting fire to an entire block. And, they began to work in groups as well. From there, it was a typical Robot Revolution.

What kind of name is Vendtron? What decade are we in man?

Now, it may seem ridiculous at first, but an ingenius concept developed for the machine was to place the sensory system in the keypad. It saved space, as the buttons were already transparent, but meant the machine would permanently have numbers floating across it's vision.
Targetting: Customer sighted by the 2.

The vending machine part of the mech sits further forward, over the legs. This is to ease the delivery of delicious and refreshing beverages.
That is, if you like the knockoff of the knockoff of the off brand soda.

For it's size, the Vendtron had the most powerful engine of it's time. The entire machine could remain functional for 42 years before having to recharge. It did so by disguising itself as a normal vending machine (It pulled it's legs in) and recharging. Oddly enough, that worked almost all the time.
Man, it was something to see. People never figured it out...

This image merely finishes our 360 view of the machine. However, I would like to point out the additional panelling laid ver the sides. this is to protect the important sensory components built in.
Don't believe it! It's just bad building!

As said earlier, this model was prone to AI malfunctions. When such malfunctions occured, they weren't pretty. The Vendtron 9000 could propel a can of soda at 100ft/s with 6,000 lbs/square inch of force. Unfortunately for the Vendtron, it could only fire one ever ten seconds, as it had to recharge it's energy.
Your head asplode cuz you is no buy mah sodaz!

Thus, we bring the story of the Vendtron 9000 to a close. However, Greenco's competitors at Redcola put a plan similiar to this one in action later on in life. Using the same AI...



Comments

Ribbits M
 I like it 
Perry McShane
  September 26, 2010
KAHAHAKHAHKAKAHKHAKAHAHAKAHAKHKAKAHHHA very amusing
 I made it 
  April 28, 2010
Sorry I missed that, But I'm now filled with terror.
 I like it 
  April 20, 2010
 I made it 
  April 18, 2010
@Tim: That was actually the inspiration for this. @Delta: It's clearly a marketing campaign to acclimatize you to your new Vending Machine Overlords.
 I like it 
  April 18, 2010
I thought they already made a prototype. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkgQFOOr7ug&feature=related
 I like it 
  April 5, 2010
"Goodness gracious, great cans of fire!" So does this mean that my-vending-machine-on-a red-wagon idea is bad? (gj. AGAIN) The ads here say "Vendstar Vending Machines"- Be Your Own Boss Earn Money With Vending Machines. Call today!(www.Vendstar.com) AND "Vending Machines for Sale"- Hundreds of New & Used Vending Machines at Low Prices! Order Now. (www.globalvendinggroup.com). Is this just a coincidence or am i just still insane? Or is it something else, like a...?
 I like it 
  March 30, 2010
Its all about the final shot. The humor is right up my alley. Nice one!
 I made it 
  March 30, 2010
@Anchovy: There're other companies besides Greenco and Redcola? I thought they were all run out of business by 2032... I didn't realize things had gotten so bad the monopolies were losing their grips... @Bones: It really wasn't. I was going for originality and humor more than anything. And it obviously paid off! @Shifu: Great minds think alike, Mr. Shifu, great minds think alike! The whole industrial espionage thing really helps though.
  March 30, 2010
@Ribbit: You don't know what Coke is? It's a soda, you know...
  March 30, 2010
4 score. I was going with a lower score as I did not feel that the build was all that hard, but the humor made me smile, so extra point.
 I like it 
  March 30, 2010
Gaaah!!! You beat me to it! It was the first thing in my list of ideas ... nonetheless, it's freakin' hilarious!
 I made it 
  March 28, 2010
Wow, thanks guys! I'm glad you all think so highly of it! @Monfiinika: Coke? @Hans: Good point. It's not the safest method of delivery, but it is the most fun. For us, of course. Not so much for the customer and bystanders though... @Moodswim: Thanks! I think the engine is one of my better ones myself. @000: Death by commentary... Now THAT is a way to go. Unless it's awful commentary. @Jake: Thank you, and good luck yourself! @Matthew: Sweet! I'm up to 13 so far. I don't know how I'm going to top that last picture though... @Jason: Now now, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. We'd prefer it if they didn't have the ability to level our facility before we can get to the bunkers. @Josh: I've been considering something like that... When I rebuild it, I'll definately have to do that.
 I like it 
  March 28, 2010
Very cool! This is hilarious!
 I like it 
  March 28, 2010
Um... I'd like a Coke please... AAAAAHHHH!!!!
 I like it 
  March 28, 2010
LMFAO! The last shot IS priceless, but with 6000 lbs/sq. inch of force, I don't think there would be ANY head left, just lots of flesh and bone shrapnel...LOL Nice build and funny commentary.~H
 I like it 
  March 28, 2010
HA! Very funny idea and great build! I love the look of the engine.
 I like it 
  March 28, 2010
Reading through your commentary is seriously going to kill me... LMFO...
 I like it 
  March 28, 2010
Nice and very original, I love it, nice work mate, and I wish you good luck in the contest^^
 I like it 
  March 28, 2010
it was gonna be a three until that last pic. 4 pts for originality and a pretty clean build. remember, I'm grading everyones first entry with just a bit of slack
 I like it 
  March 27, 2010
That is so funny. I love this vendor. If only it could be equiped with a rapid fire system.
 I like it 
  March 27, 2010
HAHAHA! You should make a scene in an office or something. I also made a tiny mech/hardsuit inspired by you for the MocAthalon, but I forgot to tell you. Here it is:http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/192146 :)
 I made it 
  March 27, 2010
Thanks guys! @Rahkshi: Careful now, if you offend the vendtron it may decide to add you to it's route ;) In all seriousness though, thank you for a high score. @Mech Man: The Vendtron would like me to convey it's thanks. It's quite excited about it's current score. @Everyone else: Thanks for the comments guys! It's good to see my odd sense of humor is shared by so many of you!
 I like it 
  March 27, 2010
Vending machines are the greatest invention ever, you know. Lots of great detail all around. I award this 4 points for creativity and giving us something unexpected.
 I like it 
  March 27, 2010
Haha, Wow, I was seriously Laughing, you took a awesome new approach and did it proud, the first five of the contest!
 I like it 
  March 27, 2010
This is hilarious and great!
 I like it 
  March 27, 2010
Headshot!!! Hehe, simply amazing and funny!
 I like it 
  March 27, 2010
Hahaha great :-)
 I like it 
  March 27, 2010
This. Is. Hilarious.
 I like it 
  March 27, 2010
This is hilariously-awesome! I love that it fires soda... ~Waff
 
By Ribbits M
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Added March 27, 2010
 

The background images used on this page are © Todd Lehman,
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