MOCpages : Share your LEGO® creations
LEGO models my own creation MOCpages toys shop Heavy MachinegunWeapons
Welcome to the world's greatest LEGO fan community!
Explore cool creations, share your own, and have lots of fun together.  ~  It's all free!
Heavy Machinegun
Need some HEAVY WEAPONS, huh? Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about your inadequacy. Just step inside, please, for a quick demonstration...
About this creation
...So, taken in by the cheesy gunrunner whispering?
Or did you click because it says "Areetsa" under the thumbnail and whatever I do is sure to be worth a giggle, or at least be preferable to decaltards and clone-heads?

Well, either way. This way please...



As you can see, this is a top-of-the-line Zenarms-250 multi-mount heavy machinegun.
Firing the hefty 7.5mm rocket-boosted AP shell, this thing'll bore a hole right through a pedo, his van...

And the house on the other side as well! Great collateral damage value, for a very affordable price!

Here's a review from a satisfied customer:

"Hi, I live in Oaktown City, on New Texas, and I wanted something to help me keep my family safe. I did some looking around, and Autoguns Incorporated looked like the best bet for my budget. Anyway, I bought one of their two-five-oughts, and it's really helped me! Just last week there were some people nosing around in a white van disguised as plumbers. Since those dirty pedophiles always use black vans with painted windows, I figured these guys had cottoned on and were going to rape my kids by pretending to be plumbers looking for work! I just pulled back the curtains and believe me, this thing really put some holes in them! Of course, the police came a-knocking, and sure enough they were pedos too. I could tell because they still kept a-sayin' those two perverts were plumbers, so it was a good thing I had the gun bits hidden under the couch. 5/5, I'd definitely buy again! Their ordering process is convolooted convaleuted twisty and their packaging leaves gun oil all over your couch, but they're cheap and they ship fast! I really reccomend sugest think you should pick them if you need some fier power energy fire guns to keep your family safe. Five stars!!"

This is our tester, Tombob. He's here at our secret jungle testing facility, showing off this thing's moves.


As the boss's announcer guy jabbered, Tombob felt hot and angry. The boss said he was supposed to take the big gun out here for something.
Tombob suspected the faeries were planning something again. Just last week he'd kicked one to pieces that was masquerading as some little girl's doll.

Not that words like 'suspected' and 'masquerading' would enter his mind, let alone be written by him. Autoguns Incorporated wasn't a very cerebral company and its employees weren't very cerebral people.



As you can see, this gun here can be easily taken apart and put back together, just one of its many virtures! It's very reliable, with its hybrid water cooled slash air cooled design keeps it cool and shooting in all weather!



Dammit! Tombob figured out the faery plan. They weren't going to come through the bushes at all! They were going to charge him on their unicorn/pony hybrid warhorses!

Quickly, he repositioned his gun to cover the open plain.



Ooh, Tombob's really giving that gun a workout! As you can see, it can really pour out lead! Those wide open sights really help you sight in your targets quickly, so you can lay down the lead before they can get near your family!



There they were! And just in time, too! He dropped into a crouch and started shooting. As the juddering and roaring aggravated his headache, he pondered that maybe today was the wrong day to quit smoking P.

Or was it yesterday? Man, he could do with a quick puff on his bong right then.


We once again reiterate that Tombob isn't the sort of person to use words like 'aggravate' and 'ponder'. "Man this f$@&@%$ headache pisses me off!" maybe, and "Where's my f%#*&@% bong? I need a hit, an' I need it now!" but not 'aggravate' and 'ponder'.



He's twisted it around now, look how smoothly it turns even though he hasn't weighted down the legs!

Please remember, sandbags are optional, and our heavy-duty tripod with a built in leveller to make sure the legs don't need adjusting is an extra $352, minus freight and shipping.



What was that?! Tombob swung about to deal with the new threat. S%#@*%&@%*&@! Now the ogres were in on it too!? But he'd made sure to pay his mushroom tax! Why?!



Okay, we can't explain this, but please do remember, sudden suicidal impulses and involuntary spasms aren't usually caused by our weapons. We will investigate this in depth, and inform you of his problem later.

Zenarms-250 in 7.5mm RAP, $4999.96.

And do remember to tell your friends about us!



Aaargh, the bugs, the bugs! The f#*% ants! I can feel them under my skin!
Get them out, get them out! Aaaiirgh!! This is because of the sugar thing, isn't it!?

I didn't mean it! Please! The fire was an accident! It was my room-mate what put the explosives there! Get out of me! Get out of me! AIIIEEE!!

______________________________________________________________________________________

Begin author statements.

I hope you had as much fun reading the above as I did writing it, but I don't think that's physically possible, so nevermind.

I was going for the tacky "only rednecks or idiots would buy this, but hey, you're not a redneck or an idiot, are you? No, you're a clever, discerning customer who we respect and will not rip off, nope nope nope. This here is JUST WHAT YOU NEED (tm) and is clinically proven to do everything you need it to. So, sign here on the dotted line, no, our company's logo does look a bit like the French Foreign Legion's emblem, but that's a coincidence. Write '60' in the 'years' box, that's where you pick how long the free warranty lasts, and 'private' in the 'desired rank' box. That says you don't want your address given to spammers." infomercial thing, mixed with a little nightmare fuel (that crazy mum murdered two plumbers in cold blood! Who'll save the princess now!? And who's crazy enough to sell military weapons to untrained civvies anyway?) and, of course, the less-than-subtle 'drugs'll fs%# your mind, dude' thing.

So, this is actually free to use. S'long as I get credit for it, I'm fine with folks using it. Just paste the following on the bottom of your page and you'll be fine:

There's this awesome guy called Areetsa who's got lots of awesome stuff on his page and he made this super cool machinegun that I used here and being the super awesome guy that he is he said anyone can use it as long as they have this on their page isn't that awesome?

(you can trim it to 'Areetsa made that machinegun' if y'want.)



P.S: in case you were wondering, 'P' is NZ slang for 'methamPhetamine', a drug we have a very real problem with over here. I don't know how the withdrawl goes, and I don't want to know, but I'd wager it probably involves malicious baby unicorn riding faeries who team up with the magic mushroom tax collecting ogres for at least a few stoners.

End author statements.



Comments

 I made it 
  February 8, 2010
Quoting Brick Freak Huh. I didn't even know that you responded. I should check my activities board more often. But that's just me. Anyway, about the gun, instead of The megaphone part, try using one of these: http://www.bricklink.com/catalogItem.asp?P=63965 With a black technic pin at the end, and for a sight, use a black glove. If you've already taken it apart, then s*%@. I really need to look at my activities board more.
Well, that'd make it far too long. Most minifig machineguns are just massive, twice-thrice this size. I was going for something compact.
 I like it 
  February 8, 2010
Huh. I didn't even know that you responded. I should check my activities board more often. But that's just me. Anyway, about the gun, instead of The megaphone part, try using one of these: http://www.bricklink.com/catalogItem.asp?P=63965 With a black technic pin at the end, and for a sight, use a black glove. If you've already taken it apart, then s*%@. I really need to look at my activities board more.
 I made it 
  February 8, 2010
Quoting Finn C-Q Ok... ANYWAY! I am going to say... Zexeabus(?) is like the LIU in some ways, because of the buying idias, although LIU is more product.
Nah; you see, they commission their equipment from independent companies (although the state owned Zenarms often makes an appearance) and they've got very lax gun control laws. As long as you haven't been convicted of a major crime, you can own any weapon you can afford. In fact, it's mandatory for every family to have at least one gun. So yeah, you've got ads like this all through the trivid networks. Not many people pay attention to them though, 'specially since it's often cheaper to just go straight to the manufacturer.
  February 8, 2010
Ok... ANYWAY! I am going to say... Zexeabus(?) is like the LIU in some ways, because of the buying idias, although LIU is more product.
 I made it 
  January 30, 2010
Quoting Finn C-Q http://mocpages.com/home.php/38504 Look, a fellow New Zelander!
Don't really bother searching out people of similar nationality, myself. Believe me, not all of us are as crazy as I am.
  January 30, 2010
http://mocpages.com/home.php/38504 Look, a fellow New Zelander!
Areetsa C
 I like it 
Angus J.
  January 26, 2010
Very unique gun design, but WHERE is the ammo box, or the ammo chain to shoot the durn thing? Scenery is ok, but needs something else... maybe a few more trees?
 I made it 
  January 26, 2010
Quoting Angus J. Very unique gun design, but WHERE is the ammo box, or the ammo chain to shoot the durn thing? Scenery is ok, but needs something else... maybe a few more trees?
Ammo boxes are the white bits on the side. The scenery was slapped together to add a bit of colour, so eh. Could be better but I'ma not so good with the trees. Large flowery shrub things yeah, trees, not so much.
 I like it 
  January 26, 2010
Not much of a landscape, but a nice gun design and the commentary was hilarious.
 I made it 
  January 26, 2010
Quoting Pedro the Puerto Rican ehh its okay. the texture could be a little less bricky, and the flowers and trees around him could've been more like. oh im in some jungle or something. add a little bit more "WOW!" into it, and ill boost my rate. 3/5. The truth hurts. :P!
The ISP-side website blocker is throwing a hissy fit right now. I'll try and reply when it's acting more reasonable.
 I like it 
  January 26, 2010
That was funny! I actually clicked on this because a heavy machine gun in a pretty flowerbed just struck me as funny. Nice gun, good scene, thanks for the laugh.
  January 26, 2010
ehh its okay. the texture could be a little less bricky, and the flowers and trees around him could've been more like. oh im in some jungle or something. add a little bit more "WOW!" into it, and ill boost my rate. 3/5. The truth hurts. :P!
Areetsa C
The Lowlander
  January 25, 2010
Great Job! It was very funny.
 I made it 
  January 25, 2010
Quoting Brick Freak The gun itself could use a touchup, but the humor- that can't get any better. Nice job.
Touchups such as? Any suggestions?
 I like it 
  January 25, 2010
The gun itself could use a touchup, but the humor- that can't get any better. Nice job.
  January 25, 2010
Are you sure this is mocpages pg rating? More like pg-13..... Well stilll hilarious, really hilarious.
 I like it 
  January 25, 2010
Cool gun, nice grip and backsight!
 I like it 
  January 25, 2010
Well, he appers to be unstable.
 I like it 
  January 25, 2010
Awesome! Spot on.
 
By Areetsa C
Add to my favorite builders

12
people like this. See who.

2,119 visitors
19 comments
Added January 25, 2010
 


LEGO models my own creation MOCpages toys shop Heavy MachinegunWeapons


You Your home page | LEGO creations | Favorite builders
Activity Activity | Comments | Creations
Explore Explore | Recent | Groups
MOCpages is an unofficial, fan-created website. LEGO® and the brick configuration are property of The LEGO Group, which does not sponsor, own, or endorse this site.
©2002-2014 Sean Kenney Design Inc | Privacy policy | Terms of use