Quoting Nufalak of Mythada
Well, you asked for my honest critique, so here it is. The start of the story seems very confusing. You thrust the reader into a world where you expect them to know everything already. Maybe they would from the previous series, but I'm not sure. Also, the dialogue feels pretty cheesy to me, and the grammar needs work. The words also don't always match the pictures either. The characters are all very similar. They dont seem to have different personalities and they seem too "all knowing". Everything was happenning too quick for the reader to get to know what the characters, the world, or what the problems are like. Lastly, it seems like some ideas may have been stolen, or at least heavily influenced, from my series. I think if you keep working at it, put some more effort into it, and think things through a bit more, it shows promise to be decent in the future.
thanks nuf. i will try harder next time to make the story more interesting and to make the charecters different. but remember that that this is my commic and that i wouldnt steal from you. and i knew that this episode was going to come out badly. i actually waned you to go and read all the other episodes before this one. thanks again.
