MOC Olympics round 4, MOC me a story: 33-417-6R, a short stor(m)y.
About this creation
- Category: MOC me a story (original story by Chris Phipson)
- Opponent: Dave Kaleta
Here goes, people!
(I won't talk between the storylines, but just a quick note: great care was taken to make all of the texts legible from this page. Sometimes, I had to made the image smaller, so that this website's upload tool didn't resize it and make it look all scrambled. In other cases, resizing the image would mean losing too much detail in the pictures. In those cases, it's best to click for a bigger image to read the texts better. Thanks.)















































Notes & commentary:
On photoshop
Before you start screaming: yes, I've used photoshop to make the holo of the girl. Both me and my noble opponent had clearance to do so from Chris (this bit will not be taken into account by the judges). For the rest, I only 'shopped the speech bubbles in and some darkened background colour in a couple of space shots. Since I didn't have the time to edit all the pics this round anyway, I had to make sure I built the sets so that I wouldn't have to do a minimum of photoshopping at all! (On some pics, you can even see the black t-shirt that serves as a background darkener pop out through the doorways ;^D ).
On the ships
Since I've become a member of MOCpages, I thought I wouldn't ever build a Venator. That's because a lot of you already had, and sometimes with great results. For this MOC, I just had to make one as it was required by the story. Nanoscale. Simple and effective, I think.
There's an official V-wing issued by TLC, of course. But that one is far too flimsy and small in my opinion. I don't think using an official set here would be a good idea anyway ;^). So I made one myself. In fact, I made two of the same ship at once, since I thought I could use a second one to make an impression of them flying in a squadron.
I also made my own rather large Vulture droid. I love how that turned out.
On images I used
I feel like some of my builds have gotten a raw deal, as most scenes only get one or two shots. Many details were lost in the cuts for the story. But for the sake of the story (which is what it's all about in this round, I think), I sometimes had to lose perfectly great wide angle shots of a great scene with lots of custom droids in favour of a closeup within a scene. Maybe I will post some 'deleted scenes' or 'behind the scenes' shots later on. Who knows.
On the story
I ditched plans of making Obi-Wan and the girl in a metal bikini walk hand in hand on a beach (on Hoth) together, as that would've have to go after the punchline of the clone being a girl, thus making the ending weaker.
Also, I would have loved to give this story the subtitle 'The clone who loved me', but that would also give things away too soon.
And I think it's safe to say that I am now clean out of grey bricks ;^) Yes, that's all I have. Nothing bigger than some 2x1 bricks are left in my tub. I even had to take apart the V-wing base/hangar set before I could start on the Venator's lower deck. And the battle command center uses almost all my black bricks. Really.
Comments
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I like it |
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December 6, 2011 |
Amazing story! Kept me hooked and what a twist at the end! Keep it up! |
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I like it |
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March 23, 2011 |
This was a great story. It kept me reading on and the end was surprising! Nice V-Wing Mocs by the way... Keep it up! |
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I like it |
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October 11, 2010 |
Boy, I did not see that ending coming. :0 Good job by the way. |
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I like it |
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January 21, 2010 |
Its a good story you could make a comic about before this one
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I like it |
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January 5, 2010 |
100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000/10 Such a flippen fantastic build totally awsome,check out my page |
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I like it |
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November 20, 2009 |
First of all, I love all the SNOT. Second, great storyline. |
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I like it |
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November 17, 2009 |
This is just amazing! I think this deserves MOTD! |
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I like it |
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November 16, 2009 |
Excellent creation! Everything is fantastic! Great story, buildings, ships and the best is V- wing! If I can say anything about all lego V-wings your is the best. |
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I made it |
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October 19, 2009 |
Quoting Valentin K.
Absolutely fantastic. How much time did you spend for all this stuff!?!
I think about three days in total. The weekend, and a couple of evenings. I took the photos as I went along. Had an actual script for this one, so I knew what I needed to build and photograph before I went on to the next build. |
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I like it |
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October 18, 2009 |
Brilliant, absolutely Brilliant. |
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I like it |
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October 16, 2009 |
Absolutely fantastic. How much time did you spend for all this stuff!?!
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I like it |
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October 15, 2009 |
I like this alot -- great story line with a real twist! Other comics creators take note!!!!
Your good MOC's help and mad camera skills improve the end result but it is the story line that holds and keeps the attention --> |
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I like it |
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October 15, 2009 |
Congrats on advancing Steef. I was sorry to see you and Dave go head to head as you're both faves of mine but it certainly pushed you both to great builds. Love the cloning chambers and the Clone marching song! Good luck as you advance. |
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I made it |
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October 15, 2009 |
Quoting jacob clements
The picture quality is gorgeous, beautiful, what camera? Very much like the comics, great storytelling, has the drama, the whole pack, excellent buid as well.
Thank you. I'm not sure that I've used the same camera with all of the pictures (I have six digital cameras in total), but I'm quite sure that I mostly used a Canon powershot SX-110 IS for this MOC. Maybe I also took some shots with my EOS 20D SLR with 100mm f/2.8 macro lens - the portrait on the splash image, for instance. The powershot is a rather cheap and plastic camera, but very great for macros, because it has a very wide depth of field. Pity its pictures are usually filled with noise if you don't watch out. Oh, I'm sorry, am I being a cam geek again? ;) |
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I like it |
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October 14, 2009 |
The picture quality is gorgeous, beautiful, what camera? Very much like the comics, great storytelling, has the drama, the whole pack, excellent buid as well. |
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I like it |
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October 14, 2009 |
The picture quality is gorgeous, beautiful, what camera? Very much like the comics, great storytelling, has the drama, the whole pack, excellent buid as well. |
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I like it |
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October 14, 2009 |
THATS REALLY BOMBASTIC FANTASTIC WOOOOW |
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I like it |
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October 14, 2009 |
Excellent Steef, this feels like a very genuine comic. |
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I like it |
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October 13, 2009 |
nice man! |
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I like it |
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October 13, 2009 |
All around fantastic. Excellent story, photography, and, most importantly, build. Excellent job! |
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I like it |
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October 11, 2009 |
Crap...You're good. |
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I made it |
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October 11, 2009 |
Quoting Ernest Ip
Awesome, but one question. How was she born with her helmet on???
Advanced technology. |
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I like it |
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October 11, 2009 |
Awesome, but one question. How was she born with her helmet on??? |
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I made it |
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October 10, 2009 |
Quoting Joris Blok
Leuk gedaan! Hoe kom je aan al die r2 en r4's joh?
Die komen gewoon uit allemaal verschillende starwars sets die ik heb. En dank je! |
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I like it |
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October 10, 2009 |
Leuk gedaan! Hoe kom je aan al die r2 en r4's joh? |
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I made it |
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October 9, 2009 |
Quoting Master Shifu Leo J
Congrats on the win!
Thanks! |
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I like it |
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October 7, 2009 |
Congrats on the win! |
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I made it |
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October 7, 2009 |
Quoting Rens .
this is the BEST star wars comic EVER!!!!! 100000/5
Whoah, dat is wel heel veel, Rens ;) |
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I like it |
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October 7, 2009 |
this is the BEST star wars comic EVER!!!!! 100000/5 |
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I like it |
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October 6, 2009 |
WOW! This is one of the best SW comics I've ever seen! The look and feel of it definately has a Star Wars-y feel to it. Simply amazing amount of detail in the builds and scenery! Awesome! |
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I made it |
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October 6, 2009 |
Thank you all for your comments! I can't stress enough that I appreciate your visits and comments.
Quoting Mister Fang
Wow, excellent work and great creations! I thought I had a lot of mini-figs (about 1000) but your collection is quite incredible. Congrats on the win and best of luck next round.
Thank you. I don't nearly have that many minifigs though. Not even nearly half of that. People keep thinking I have a lot of LEGO, but I actually used ALL of my grey bricks on just one of those sets, and nearly all of my black bricks on that command center set. I have seen people on here having many times that amount of bricks. I guess it's just a way of building and photographing creatively that it looks like so much! |
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I like it |
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October 6, 2009 |
Wow, excellent work and great creations! I thought I had a lot of mini-figs (about 1000) but your collection is quite incredible. Congrats on the win and best of luck next round. |
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I like it |
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October 6, 2009 |
Another "I'm speechless" creation... I can't even imagine the time, effort and amount of bricks you've spent on this one. Congrats to the win of round four, and as I stated before: I bet you reach the final. Good luck to you sir! |
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I made it |
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October 6, 2009 |
Quoting Dave Kaleta
Congrats Steef, you deserve the win for the shear amount of time you must have dedicated.
Thank you. And very well played, sir. Shame to see you going, really. |
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I like it |
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October 6, 2009 |
Yay! A fellow Billy Joel fan! Anyway, nice MOC, all the scenes looked great, and the Venator especially. |
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I like it |
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October 5, 2009 |
lol, nice twist at the end! and that astro droid pic at the end was great. good luck! |
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I like it |
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October 5, 2009 |
Wow! The builds are topnotch and the story is amazing. The phothgraphy is movie quality - great use of ligting. In one build, you just became the best Star Wars diorama buidler on this site! |
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I like it |
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October 5, 2009 |
Steef, i simply LOVE the twist you put on this, it was so unexpected until the very end where you revealed the secret of the story, it just makes the story itself make so much more sense. Otherwise, great details on the interior of the venator especially, great job and congrats on the win! |
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I like it |
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October 5, 2009 |
AWESOME! |
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I like it |
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October 5, 2009 |
man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man...oh man, oh man, you, oh man, oh man, have my, oh man, oh man, oh man, vote! |
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Congrats Steef, you deserve the win for the shear amount of time you must have dedicated. |
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I like it |
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October 5, 2009 |
I'll keep it short and sweet - you've got my vote and the win. Excellent job. Lee. |
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I like it |
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October 5, 2009 |
Steef, this is nothing short of STUNNING! The sheer volume of work blows my mind, but the the camera angles, the lighting, the compositions of your MOCs...all phenomenal. You've got my vote (which is saying a lot this time given Kaleta's amazing work - you guys both knocked it past the park, the city limits, etc., and put it into frickin' orbit!!!!) |
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I made it |
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October 5, 2009 |
Quoting Dave Shaddix
I like how Phipson just writes ONE review and pastes it into both MOCs... your laziness is an inspiration to us all.
Didn't you put that exact same comment under Dave's MOC? Hahaha, oh the iron knee! |
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I made it |
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October 5, 2009 |
Quoting Chris Phipson
Dave and Steef. You guys are both getting the same comment here. I already fawned over both of your creations and you know that I love them both. The "outside the box" thinking from Dave was GENIUS and the twist ending and build from Steef were inspired. ~ Chris
Thanks Chris. You do understand that we see it as our jobs to make this as hard as possible for you. |
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I made it |
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October 5, 2009 |
Quoting Dave Shaddix
Are you, Steef de Prouw, in fact a skunk ape?
No comment. |
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I made it |
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October 5, 2009 |
Quoting Dave Shaddix
Steef, I was going to leave this unsaid, but it can't be held in. Why in the world do you have so many clones and battle droids?
I have both the Republic Gunships and the MTT, among others. This helps immensely.
Quoting Dave Shaddix
Do you have an alter-go that we don't know about? Are you really Super-El33t Clone Cammandir Awsum Sause? Do you often find yourself setting up huge battle scenes on your carpet and taking pictures of them at night, under incandescent light and posting them?
OMG LOL HOW DID U FIND OUT? NOT TELLIN U MI 'OTHER' ACOUNT THO ROFFLE
Quoting Dave Shaddix
Do you like to watch movies about gladiators? Do you ever hang out in the locker room?
No, but I've been in a Turkish prison, if that helps. |
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I like it |
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October 5, 2009 |
Very great story with some depth. I like the spin being the clone was female. And you already know your building and photography are beautiful to look at. |
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I like it |
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October 5, 2009 |
oh wow! |
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I like it |
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October 5, 2009 |
All I can say is "you da man!!!" |
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I like it |
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October 5, 2009 |
Nice story Steef. Some great builds in there (love the nano-Venator). The pop-art style explosion was cool too. Best of luck! |
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I like it |
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October 5, 2009 |
that was very good!! |
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I like it |
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Dave Shaddix October 4, 2009 |
Steef, you outdid yourself again. This is why you are in Round IV dude. Excellent work, |
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I like it |
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Dave Shaddix October 4, 2009 |
Steef, I was going to leave this unsaid, but it can't be held in. Why in the world do you have so many clones and battle droids? Do you have an alter-go that we don't know about? Are you really Super-El33t Clone Cammandir Awsum Sause? Do you often find yourself setting up huge battle scenes on your carpet and taking pictures of them at night, under incandescent light and posting them? Do you like to watch movies about gladiators? Do you ever hang out in the locker room? |
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I like it |
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Dave Shaddix October 4, 2009 |
Are you, Steef de Prouw, in fact a skunk ape? |
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I like it |
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Dave Shaddix October 4, 2009 |
I like how Phipson just writes ONE review and pastes it into both MOCs... your laziness is an inspiration to us all. |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Outstanding job Steef! I'm not exactly sure where to start.. Ah yes. Love the story line and the builds are awesome! That custom V-wing and Vulture droid are great too! I smiled at the explosion and went O_o when I saw that the clone was a girl. Anyway, great job, I hope this wins! Good luck in the MOColympics! |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Dave and Steef. You guys are both getting the same comment here. I already fawned over both of your creations and you know that I love them both. The "outside the box" thinking from Dave was GENIUS and the twist ending and build from Steef were inspired. It was such a tough decision that I couldn't decide based on your take of the story from either of you. In the end, I had to base my decision strictly on build and in that regard, Steef got it in my opinion. Congratulations to both of you and good luck with the other judges. ~ Chris |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
I figured the whole thing out early on. Sorry, It's a gift of mine. :) |
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I made it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Quoting General Qua-cor Peala
Very cool! You deleted my MOC! I'll have you know I'm older than you! I didn't really want to say that but I am! I didn't want to reveal anything about me but I did!
I...deleted your MOC? And you're younger than 34 years old? I think most of us could've guessed that ;) |
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I made it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Quoting Chris Phipson
(Obviously this is not a vote comment. Still waiting on Dave) I just have to say that I ACTUALLY got goose bumps reading this. Seeing my story come to life in a way I never could have done it... And then making it your own with that twist ending. Ok Dave, time to bring the rain my man. Let's see how this plays out. ~ Chris.
Thanks Chris. I had fun building this and most of all...puzzling on the script to make it all work. I'll have you know it was quite a challenge and I cursed you from time to time, haha! Now I'm really curious about Dave's entry. Have to go to sleep soozzzzz
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October 4, 2009 |
Very cool! You deleted my MOC! I'll have you know I'm older than you! I didn't really want to say that but I am! I didn't want to reveal anything about me but I did! |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Awesome ! The sets are massive ! |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
(Obviously this is not a vote comment. Still waiting on Dave) I just have to say that I ACTUALLY got goose bumps reading this. Seeing my story come to life in a way I never could have done it... And then making it your own with that twist ending. Ok Dave, time to bring the rain my man. Let's see how this plays out. ~ Chris. |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
R2-D2 must have gotten stuck in the cloning device. LOL! nice v-wing |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Wow, you've outdone yourself here! |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
I've gotta say, this has an awesome amount of builds, especially given the short time frame. Good luck =) |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Excellent story, and excellent build! Good luck on this round. |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Nice job! Where did you get the old 2002 ep 2 clones? I got 3, but they were all from eBay. Where'd ya get so many? Anyway, I bet you're gonna win. |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
A great build -- telling a story is hard enough, but telling someone else's story is even tougher, I think. The clone facility caught my eye, and I liked batttle control. I'm not much of a Star Wars guy (I'm a Trekker), but I like what you've done here. The last shot is, to make a bad pun, priceless! |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
I feel bad for you guys for pulling this category. Like a crazy punishment of sorts. Way to make this thing into a real production. Chris owes you something big for putting up with it. |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Very well chosen words and dialogue. Right from the get go, I was thinking, uh oh, where is this going? (all male clones, you see) but then the clone turned out to be a girl and that was, good. Excellent back grounds. |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
You know when people have nothing else to say and write LOL but don't actually LOL well this is'nt the case: LOL great build, funnier story, (where did you get all those astro droids?) |
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I made it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Thank you all for the nice comments and votes. This is always the most heartwarming moment, when I see if a thing that was in my head works for other people too.
Quoting Dave Kaleta
Wow Steef! This is REALLY great. You are a Star Wars master. I doubt I'll even come close. I won't be posting until the deadline (hopefully).
Thanks! I think I'll be fast asleep by then. Come to think of it, I'll probably be waking up again by that time ;) Good luck man! |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Once again Steef my boy, once again. You never cease to amaze me with your building skill and send me into fits of jealousy(man I need more bricks) My personal favorite was the cloning facility, beautiful! Dave has his work cut out for him! Best of luck to you and once again, BRAVO! |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
As always,a great moc!
I like how you photoshopped the hologram.
The ships are also a nice creation,good luck!
By the way,I created a Flatship,the "brother" of the thinship :) |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Great storyline and some stunning builds! Good luck! ~ Ghostman :) |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Wow Steef! This is REALLY great. You are a Star Wars master. I doubt I'll even come close. I won't be posting until the deadline (hopefully). |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Probably the best Star Wars Story on MOCpages at the time. |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Great job, everything loooks great! |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Priceless, fantastic, awesome ! This is my favorite MOC by you and it means a lot, knowing the number of great ships you've done. The Chris story is extremely good and you've done an amazing job with it. Maybe the first time I'm TRULY very interested by a Clone-wars MOC. The V-Wing is fantastic and also all the interiors. You're in good position, not only to win this round, but also the Olympics ! Good luck and may the force be with you :-)
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Great bunch of scenes there. Nice control panels etc. GL! see ya. garth |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Steef... This is one of the greatest things I have ever seen made in such a short time period. Words themselves cannot describe the state of awe I am in.
Good day |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
This is-
-Funny!
-a little sad
-Action packed!
This is just great! |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
OMG. You have so much skills! Brilliant story, brilliant environments and awesome made all together! I´m speechless. |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Really good story. The mocs are excellent.
Good job! |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
This is really good. the story flowed nicely without any breaks and a shocking ending. |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
Yes this is a really fantastic work. Good luck to you. |
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I like it |
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October 4, 2009 |
I like it ! (I modified my last comment and it lost the rating so here it is again) |
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This is awesome, I can't really imagine how your opponent would beat this (so he won't ! :p) I love the story, great pictures and I like the costum vehicles, great job (btw, when I read the title I thought you'd have given the pilot short legs :p ) |
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