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Welcome to the Colonies
by President Jackson
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HELLO!! and welcome to the Colonies. We welcome you to our 'peaceful' and 'just' galaxy. Although you'll find our government a bit unjust, we welcome tourists, refugees, etc. The reason, it's very profitable for the war effort. I suggest that all refugees, tourists, etc. don't enter the galaxy without having some sort of ship-to-ship weaponry on your spaceship because there are three major powers in our galaxy:
The Colonial Government who will try to protect you (yeah right)
The Cripp space gang who are a pain in the butt
The Imperial Federation(who aren't allowed in the galaxy)
We are currently at war with our enemies, The Imperial Federation. We urge those wishing to visit the Colonies not to visit them at this time, as you might be destroyed by our ruthless enemies. Sucks to be you. If you do wish to come in, you will need an escort. And also, although this might be a bit unjust, we require that you pay a MASSIVE fee of about 1.3 trillion credits. And yes, they have to be Colonial, if they aren't then you have to exchange your money and have it changed to Colonial money or you can to work to pay off the debt. Just so you know, exchanging your money will take about eight to nine months, in which that time your money might be lost or sent to the Colonial Government to help with the war effort, so you'd be better off working the off the debt. Don't blame us, we need the extra money for the war effort. You can blame the Imperial Federation for the loss of your money. For more information about the war, contact our top commanders of our military: Commander Beavis, who controls the Colonial Army and Supreme Admiral Butt-head, who controls the Colonial Navy. You can reach them at the following numbers. Cell phone first.
Beavis: 776-9548
Butt-head: 510-8375
Phone number for Colonial Commandcenter/their house: 555-5599
Please make sure that if you do see an Imperial Federation ship, do the following: Run like hell. That simple. Just run like hell. You run like hell until you catch up with a Colonial ship or you leave the galaxy. Either way, you run like hell. Thank you for reading the above, and enjoy your stay at the Colonies, provided that you don't get killed or captured by our enemies.
(seriously, thank you for coming.)

(no seriously, don't enter without an escort, please. We can't hold your deaths on our conscience just because you didn't bother reading the above text.)

Fun Facts about The Colonies:
Name: The Colonies
Territory: The Colonial Galaxy and a few planets outside The C-Galaxy
Home planet: Colonia
Ships in fleet: Approximately 2,984 ships
Status: One of the richest intergalactic Governments standing directly below the LIU. Also at war with Imperial Federation and trying to exterminate the Cripp space gang
Loss of life: 271 military personal, 890 civilians, and 9,998 visitors. (tourists, refugees, anyone from the outside)

P.S, this is for all visitors_________
When you reach the outer checkpoints, be sure to sign the waiver they give you. Trust me, it'll be worth it.


Another P.S:
When you reach the outer checkpoints, we have the right to strip your ships of weapons, FTL drives, sublight engines, personal, etc. It's all for the war effort.

Last P.S:
Remember to pay the fee they bill you at the checkpoint.

Thank you for visiting The Colonies.

Sincerely, President Jackson



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