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Critique Column 2
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 Group admin 
The first one was such a success and got REALLY long REALLY quickly so...

Thread number 2! Leave a link to the MOC you want reviewed and we'll get to it as soon as we can.

Anyone can give advice, but be nice. Like last time, first person to be "mean" gets the boot. There's a difference between constructive criticism and being evil. I trust you to know the difference.

Alrighty then, have at us!
Permalink
| September 29, 2010, 11:41 pm
My creations have not gotten any comments in a while (Probably due to me not uploading them.)
Here is my one anyway : http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/223383
Permalink
| September 30, 2010, 2:04 am
 Group admin 
Quoting A. A. (A.K.A Noname)
http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/227971.
A castle MOC/vignette/diorama.
By the way, it's a great idea for a topic/conversation!


Not a bad little moc you got there. Now, I'm no purist but I probably would have avoided the toilet paper as curtains. It DOES show imagination though so I'm not gonna knock ya too much for it. However, going that route and using non Lego stuff in mocs, might I suggest nest time instead of toilet paper maybe using cheese cloth or something similar? Toilet paper is just... I dunno... cheap looking? Again, shows imagination and that's ALWAYS a good thing.

The build itself was very decent. I liked the tile work with the alternating colors. However, sticking with that trend of alternating colors, I noticed that the slopes at the back of the build were the same colors on both sides... Maybe alternating these would have brought it all together just that little bit more. Like having one red and one white on either side and alternating them so one red is at the back and one is at the front. Again, NOTHING "wrong" with how you did it, I'm just trying to help point out these kinds of things.

Man, here I am talking about form and lines and color patterns that the eye can follow... I've been hanging with Kelso WAY too long. HAHAHA

In the end a very good build. Hope my advice helps out for the next one! Nice work!
Permalink
| September 30, 2010, 5:23 am
 Group admin 
Quoting Malik Primus
My creations have not gotten any comments in a while (Probably due to me not uploading them.)
Here is my one anyway : http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/223383


Of course, it's sigfigs, so nothing really there to comment on build wise. But let's get to presentation shall we?

NICE! The pics are well lit and in focus. You've used the comic style (not sure what program, but it's workin for ya) to really give the overall look a very professional feel. And then you took it one step further and made sure that there was a background for them! THANK YOU! hahaha Putting the figs in a background gives them a sense of purpose even if all you're doing is showing the fig itself.

Maybe the people who only post figs could take a lesson from you on how to present them. Good job!
Permalink
| September 30, 2010, 5:31 am
Critique me!

http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/223886
Permalink
| September 30, 2010, 6:42 am
I need advice for my WIP:
http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/228562
Permalink
| September 30, 2010, 7:37 am
 Group admin 
Quoting Eric Mickle
Im trying to improve the way the Architecture is. http://mocpages.com/moc.php/228200


I think I replied to this in the other thread (near the end of the thread). Double check me and let me know.
Permalink
| September 30, 2010, 8:01 am
I'm going to point this out, because I never did get any useful commentary on it: http://mocpages.com/moc.php/211627
Permalink
| September 30, 2010, 8:53 am
Okay, I've had this for some time, but no one has ever really critiqued it for me.
http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/197838

1. How's the presentation?
2. Lighting?
3. Rocks?
4. Waterfall?
5. Valley area?
6. What about the additional night shots?

So when you get a chance, a bit of a reply would be appreciated. Thanks Phipson!
Permalink
| September 30, 2010, 10:47 am
Quoting Chris Phipson

I think I replied to this in the other thread (near the end of the thread). Double check me and let me know.

I guess you did. Haha.
Permalink
| September 30, 2010, 5:05 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Joe P.
Critique me!

http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/223886


The spinner and the tire swing were nicely done! Good job there. I also liked the "climbing wall" idea. Clever.

The rest of the build wasn't "bad" but lets see where things could have gone a little better. The main part looks... just... thick? Now, I think we could blame this partially on the width of the Lego bricks themselves, but to me, the top portion for the kids to run on looks very tight compared to the thickness of the walls. Maybe by adding a stud's width in the walkway it would have opened it up a bit.

Presentation. The pics looks a little washed out to me. I see you've got the nice clean background (good) and your pics are in focus (good) but the lighting looked "flooding" to me. Like it was overpowering the moc and reflecting in bad ways. Maybe try repositioning your light source a bit to reduce the washout and glare.

Other than that, nice job!
Permalink
| September 30, 2010, 6:00 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Flare _
I need advice for my WIP:
http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/228562


The base looks great, so no issue there, but I'm in agreeance with you that it needs... something.

I've got this image in my head but I'm not sure how you could pull it off. Take the basic concept of the street being torn up and match it to a wall. Think "Wille Coyote" on this one. Maybe build the wall on a slant so that it looks like it's being pulled "cartoon style" by the force of the guys rushing by it.

It may take a few attempts to find something that works, but hopefully this'll put you on the right path.

Whatever you decide, it really DOES need something behind it to finish it off.

Good luck!
Permalink
| September 30, 2010, 6:03 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Areetsa C
I'm going to point this out, because I never did get any useful commentary on it: http://mocpages.com/moc.php/211627


Well, you all know I'm not a huge LDD fan. But please don't get me wrong, I KNOW that it's a great tool and can really help in the design process of projects.

My LDD issue aside, I'll just get to the design itself. Overall not bad at all! I really like the angular structure. Reminds me of Star Wars republic ships. I also liked the antenna array work. Nice stuff. I would really like to see you build this for real. Something tells me that you could take this basic design and really kick it up! good luck!
Permalink
| September 30, 2010, 6:21 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Mudskipper 4
Okay, I've had this for some time, but no one has ever really critiqued it for me.
http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/197838

1. How's the presentation?
2. Lighting?
3. Rocks?
4. Waterfall?
5. Valley area?
6. What about the additional night shots?

So when you get a chance, a bit of a reply would be appreciated. Thanks Phipson!


Ok... yeah... This is where I shut the (bleep) up.

Dude, the ONLY thing I could tell you to make this better... If you've still got the pics, reload them as large instead of the small thumbnails.

Oh, I lied, one other (tiny) thing. Usually water falls go white (or clear) when it falls. But really... that's so minor a critique that I almost forgot to mention it.

You don't need my help man! You're good.

Permalink
| September 30, 2010, 6:32 pm
http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/180738

Trust me when I tell you its much better than my last one. I still think its one of my best comics yet. Read it and see if you agree!
Permalink
| September 30, 2010, 6:47 pm
Quoting Chris Phipson

Ok... yeah... This is where I shut the (bleep) up.

Dude, the ONLY thing I could tell you to make this better... If you've still got the pics, reload them as large instead of the small thumbnails.

Oh, I lied, one other (tiny) thing. Usually water falls go white (or clear) when it falls. But really... that's so minor a critique that I almost forgot to mention it.

You don't need my help man! You're good.

Well, thanks for your time. I know waterfalls usually go misty, but I didn't have any of the right trans pieces at the time, and I though using white made it look like the bottom part had frozen. Nonetheless, I will keep your advice in mind, and hope for better waterfalls in the future.

Permalink
| September 30, 2010, 7:54 pm
 Group admin 


I'm sorry but i can't access Flickr from work so I can't see it.

Anyone else is free to give critique on this though. Sorry man.
Permalink
| October 1, 2010, 12:05 am
Quoting Chris Phipson

The base looks great, so no issue there, but I'm in agreeance with you that it needs... something.

I've got this image in my head but I'm not sure how you could pull it off. Take the basic concept of the street being torn up and match it to a wall. Think "Wille Coyote" on this one. Maybe build the wall on a slant so that it looks like it's being pulled "cartoon style" by the force of the guys rushing by it.

It may take a few attempts to find something that works, but hopefully this'll put you on the right path.

Whatever you decide, it really DOES need something behind it to finish it off.

Good luck!


Thanks Chris! :)
Permalink
| October 1, 2010, 3:17 am
Hi, I'm new to MOCpages and would like to see what I could do better on this moc.
http://mocpages.com/moc.php/225645
Permalink
| October 1, 2010, 9:44 am
 Group admin 
Quoting John Drake
Again all of my mocs were taken with my old camera

http://mocpages.com/moc.php/174403


We drive Impala's here... hahaha

Nice work. Ok, here's what I've got. The car was not bad at all. The one thing that kinda was just a (very) little off was the wheels. The grey worked well for the hubcaps but (and again... minor stuff here) I woulda liked to have seen some black for the wheels.

For the base, the overall look was nice but again, some minor things that can make it better. You had some studs showing in the middle of the street. Just threw off the line of sight a bit and was distracting. Try to keep studs and tiles seperated unless there's a particular reason for it. Also, you used some tile and some studs to represent grass. Again, unless there's a particular reason for it (like half mowed and half not) switching up like this is distracting. Uniformity is the key in cases like this.

Other than that, not bad. You're on the right track, keep it up!
Permalink
| October 1, 2010, 11:11 am
 Group admin 
Quoting Lt. John Harland
http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/180738

Trust me when I tell you its much better than my last one. I still think its one of my best comics yet. Read it and see if you agree!


Ok, here we go.

Writing. The best piece of advice I can give to anyone writing is this. Read what you've written out loud to yourself. Allow me to emphasise the "OUT LOUD" part there. If you read it to yourself, it's going to sound fine. Only when you read each word out loud to see how it sounds are you going to catch the mistakes. Here's an example of one of the things I found on your moc:

"What do we the barbed wire?"

Read that line outloud. Did you find the missing words? It should read:

"What do we DO ABOUT the barbed wire?"

Be sure to read what you've written out loud. It'll make your stories 200% better. Also, when posting stories, it's very (and I mean VERY) important to be able to tell which text goes with which pic. I had to read through your post twice to figure out which text went with which pic. Very distracting. Sure, it's obvious to YOU where the text goes, but to everyone else... not so much.

Solution, separate the pics by a GOOD 6 to 8 spaces in the upload field. Imagine the spaces between them as periods at the end of the sentence. It's telling your reader "ok, we're done with this and moving on to the next one."

You've got some good angles in the pics and have a good sense of where the action is taking place. Meaning your "framing" of the action is nice, so you're good there.

As for the rest of the presentation, I'm going to give you the same advice I gave before to many others. Go pick up some foam core board at Walgreens (or similar store) to give a clean background to the shots. Nice dinning room by the way haha. For the kinds of comics you do mostly (war stuff) I'd suggest either white or (even better) light blue to simulate sky. Something simple like a blue sky in the background is something that readers won't conciously notice but will really make your post a lot cleaner looking and up the "professional" look of it 10 fold.

Other than that, lookin good. Hope this advice helps make your next one better! Gimme a link when you do and I'll let you know how you did!
Permalink
| October 1, 2010, 11:32 am
Could someone take a look at this please? http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/223277
Permalink
| October 1, 2010, 12:06 pm
Critique this: http://mocpages.com/moc.php/219783 it's my best moc ever!
Permalink
| October 1, 2010, 1:12 pm
this is i think my best http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/228732
Permalink
| October 1, 2010, 1:18 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Phazezorz .
Ooh boy, I'm going to have a field day with this one...

Don't like my comment? Too bad. Too harsh? Absolutely. But you know what? Negative reinforcement produces positive results.

Well, on a 9/10 basis, anyways.


Time to learn the fine art of "sugar coating" I think...

While your advice was correct, the delivery needs some work dude. We're here to help the kids get better and improve their work, not make them cry.

By all means, continue to play (and be honest) but play nice please.
Permalink
| October 1, 2010, 1:50 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Jack O'Donovan
Could someone take a look at this please? http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/223277


While Phaze may have been a tad harsh in his critique, he was essentially correct. Try to weed through the "meany Phaze" bits and learn from the points he made.

In addition to those, I have a few of my own.

Number one. When you upload your pics, you should do them as "large" size. The small thumbnails are just too hard to see and since we have the option (and it takes all of about 1.3 seconds to do it this way) use the large option so we don't have to squint to see the pics.

Two. Background. Even if you can't go the route of the foam board or poster board to provide a clean background for your creation, the LEAST you can do is to find a clean floor against a white wall and take the pics there. Cutting out background clutter will REALLY make your posts look so much better.

Three, write up. Like I said in an earlier reveiw, read your stuff out loud to yourself before posting it. Does it "sound" like what you hear in your head? If not, rewrite it. Sure this may take an extra couple of seconds and I KNOW you want to post it "now, now, now!" but by taking those few extra seconds, you're going to get a much better reaction from the viewers.

Good luck!
Permalink
| October 1, 2010, 2:04 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting A Monkey
Hi, I'm new to MOCpages and would like to see what I could do better on this moc.
http://mocpages.com/moc.php/225645


First off, welcome to MOCpages!

Alrighty then, here we go. Chess set... COOL! Chess sets are always fun. Nice work on the pieces. Fun stuff there. I also like the storage area for the pieces.

Now, the "not quite as good" stuff. I understand that there's probably a parts shortage issue so consider this stuff for if you revisit this idea in the future. There was some technic bricks used around the edges. The holes on these bricks kinda takes away from the overall asthetic of the box. Using regular brick would have worked out better there. Also, if you can get your hands on some tiles and smooth out the board that would be great! I know sometimes the "smooth" look can be overdone, but here I think it would really kick it up.

And finally, if you decide to come back to this again sometime, let's talk about the storage area. What you did was great so no worries but... let's take it to the next level. The way you have them now is standing up. With your next one, use some bricks with studs on the side (headlight bricks usually) and build it so that the pieces can lay down on their sides. Then you can make the box thinner, giving a slimmer profile. I think this would boost the overall look from a 7 to a 10!

Overall not bad. With just those few minor upgrades I think your next one could really be sweet!

Again, welcome to the pages and good luck!

Permalink
| October 1, 2010, 2:18 pm
Quoting Chris Phipson

First off, welcome to MOCpages!

Alrighty then, here we go. Chess set... COOL! Chess sets are always fun. Nice work on the pieces. Fun stuff there. I also like the storage area for the pieces.

Now, the "not quite as good" stuff. I understand that there's probably a parts shortage issue so consider this stuff for if you revisit this idea in the future. There was some technic bricks used around the edges. The holes on these bricks kinda takes away from the overall asthetic of the box. Using regular brick would have worked out better there. Also, if you can get your hands on some tiles and smooth out the board that would be great! I know sometimes the "smooth" look can be overdone, but here I think it would really kick it up.

And finally, if you decide to come back to this again sometime, let's talk about the storage area. What you did was great so no worries but... let's take it to the next level. The way you have them now is standing up. With your next one, use some bricks with studs on the side (headlight bricks usually) and build it so that the pieces can lay down on their sides. Then you can make the box thinner, giving a slimmer profile. I think this would boost the overall look from a 7 to a 10!

Overall not bad. With just those few minor upgrades I think your next one could really be sweet!

Again, welcome to the pages and good luck!

First thanks for the ideas O Great Phipson, I will try to make my chess set like that, I am currently gathering pieces for my 3rd. However, I doubt that i will get it studless, as the 4x4 plates i found were light green.
As with the studless, yes there is a parts issue, however, i actually prefer it with studs as it is easier to keep the pieces in place. On the other hand, i am looking into that with my classic chess set to see how it works. the technic bricks, were completely intentional. I thought it looked bland and boring with simple regular solid bricks. however, looking back, you're right, and as I have I have acquired more lego since ive built that (about a year or so ago) i will probably change that too. As with the pieces laying down on their sides, I am kind of confused with the idea. This chess case was designed with for pieces that were much taller than regular minfigures, and I guess I never bothered to change it. I will, but I need to fix the board, it cracked a week after I posted it. Thank you very much for the comments, and I will take them into consideration. Thanks for the welcome too, and again I appreciate the comments, they will help me do a little better on the next one
Permalink
| October 1, 2010, 2:45 pm
I hate to do this, but would you mind checking out this MOC?

http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/228788

Thanks!
Permalink
| October 1, 2010, 9:43 pm
I'm experimenting with this building style, and lighting.So,
http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/229040
Permalink
| October 3, 2010, 9:24 am
I'd really appreciate some criticism on http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/229184
Permalink
| October 3, 2010, 1:27 pm
Kindof a practice MOC- http://mocpages.com/moc.php/228618 -NOTE: I dont have a billion tiles so its not studless. Im only really looking for feedback on the presentation.
Permalink
| October 7, 2010, 5:36 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting E.K.O .
Critique this: http://mocpages.com/moc.php/219783 it's my best moc ever!


Not bad, not bad at all. Couple of things that could make it even better.

For the "natural" ground, I like that the studs are all showing, however, in contrast maybe making the building studless (snot or tiles, either way) would have made it stand out on it's own a bit more (perhaps parts issues came into play here so it's a "no fault" kind of thing, but something to think about).

Next, the lava. Man that stuff is tough to do right. You've got the right idea blending the colors but the eye line gets pulled around a bit. Allow me to explain. On the "lavafall" portion, you have orange mixed in with the red. And while the lava would of COURSE go with those different colors, having a single brick of a different color placed here and there breaks the line a bit. Making it more of a single flow would have directed the eyeline better there. Check out some of Ludgonious' lava work. I can't remember the name of the moc he did with it (I think it was a prison planet thing) but THAT was some good lava work.

Hope that helps and sorry for the delay!

Permalink
| October 7, 2010, 7:22 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Ford The Oldies Man
this is i think my best http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/228732



Ok, good points first. The fireplace, chandelier and hoverboard... SWEET! All good points. The cars themselves are also nice but I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that they were sets... or maybe alternates from sets? Still nice so no real biggy.

The "dealership" itself was a little bland. I realize your parts collection may not be up to the task of building something that size, so my advice would be to simply build smaller so that you can make it more "complete."

Now then, I have three things here that would really make this moc stand out. Presentation, presentation and presentation.

The pics on the carpet are KILLING it here. Even if you don't have access to or can't get some nice background poster or foam board, a nicely ironed bed sheet will work WONDERS here. For this particular moc, I would have gone with a black one (to give the look of asphalt). Clean up that background and your above decent pic taking ability will really boost your presentation.

Good luck!
Permalink
| October 7, 2010, 7:37 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting . Klay .
I hate to do this, but would you mind checking out this MOC?

http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/228788

Thanks!


The moc is a bit... I dunno... plain. I'm going to take a wild guess here and say that you probably have a lot of star wars sets built and on display and that your "moc" piece collection is what's left over? If that's the case, my advice (and I know how hard this can be) is to tear those puppies down and use those parts for your mocs.

Now, back to the moc. One of the things that kinda put me off on it was the fact that I didn't know what kind of landscape you were going for. Was it a ship's interior? Exterior? was it a grey planetscape? Without any real backstory, it leaves the reader wanting. When you build something like this, it's always good to let the reader know what they're looking at. Even though it may be obvious to you, it's not to everyone else.

On the plus side, you've got some nice pic quality going. In focus and sharp, good job there.

Good luck!

Permalink
| October 7, 2010, 7:56 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting A. A. (A.K.A Noname)
You phrased it much better than I did, and I agree with you.

On-topic: http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/228915.


Hey hey, that's pretty cool! It's a simple build to be sure, but not every build HAS to be "the greatest thing ever" to be cool. I really liked this. The one piece of advice I could give to make it better though is this. When dealing with any "natural" landscape like sand, rocks, grass or whatever, it's good to have consistancy throughout the build. How does that relate here? The baseplate representing the sand is smooth. The dino is smooth... the castle, by comparison, is all studs up. Now, both on their own aren't bad (and keep in mind, this is a MINOR critique) but when you mix studs with smooth, it just doesn't flow. Maybe try tiling over the castle or build it SNOT to give a smooth look to it? Just a thought. Good luck!

Permalink
| October 7, 2010, 8:04 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Phazezorz .
This, http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/203738 , please.


Pretty cool actually. Now, as you all know, I'm not a purist. My philosophy is "it's your Lego, do what you want with it." so I'm not going to come down on you too hard for the gluing thing. My only issue with that would be if you glued pieces on to where there were no studs to connect... and again, this isn't a "purist" thing. It's kinda hard to explain. To me, it's like... why use Lego if you're not going to put the pieces where they were meant to be?

Now, all that being said, I don't know if that's what you did at all as there's only one pic and I can't make out all the connections.

Taking that out of the equation, this is pretty sweet actually. So, in the end, it's your Lego and if glueing pieces makes you happy, then so be it.

Good luck!
Permalink
| October 7, 2010, 8:19 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Skior Llessah
I'm experimenting with this building style, and lighting.So,
http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/229040


Nice color choices, good (not overly done) greebling, humor mixed in and MAN that SNOT floor was cool!

As this is your first "experiment" with this type of building, I've really got nothing to "critique" about it. You did a bang up job! Now, when you take this to the next level, I'd suggest using the same concepts (especially on the floor!) and just going bigger. I can see something like this setup with a lot of potential for some "comic style" action going on. So yeah, my only advice.... keep going!
Permalink
| October 7, 2010, 8:24 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting A. A. (A.K.A Noname)
http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/229136
I'm currently trying some microscale (I think the buildings are actually nanoscale, and the airpseeders are microscale, but that's my scale)


I've never been a stickler for scale, so I won't ding ya on that. The street and buildings aren't bad but they could be... more. I'd suggest taking this concept and expanding it. When doing a micro city, the idea is to make it as large as your collection (within reason) can accomodate. Sure, this portion would be good for a single street of the city, but it's just a little... small.

As for the speeders, the design was cute. Nice work there (oh, and clone bricks should be illegal EVERYWHERE). But for the "effect" of them flying, the 1x2 clear bricks were just way too big to pull that off. I would have used the trans clear... man, what are they called? (someone jump in here with the answer if you've got it) those wand pieces that have the single stud at the end of them and what's basically a 1x2 plate on the other end. I hope that makes sense (maybe someone can find it on bricklink and show you here).

I would have used those (or at the very least, 1x1 clear round studs) to show the speeders flying.

Over all, you've got a decent start. Now take it up a notch and show us more! Good luck!

Permalink
| October 7, 2010, 8:32 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting BobaFett 2
I'd really appreciate some criticism on http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/229184


Cute idea. And I'm lovin the "sarlacc pit" thing. Couple things. I would have gone with green or even brown for the base. The black really contrasts with the feel of what you're trying to portray. Just didn't sit right.

And now... the biggy. PRESENTATION! You've got it sitting on a desk in the middle of the room basically. Now, from what I see, you've got a nice, clean blue wall behind it. Even if you couldn't have covered up that carpet (hint, for something like this at this size, a pillow case would work fine) shove that puppy up against the wall for the pics! It's a natural and easily accesable "blue sky" sitting right there. Take a second to look around and see what you have available to make your presentations better. Try that idea on your next moc and see if it works for you. Good luck!
Permalink
| October 7, 2010, 8:41 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Caboose :D
This thing I just made. http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/229547
(working on V3 of Consumed by Fire ;))


Not bad on the little vehicles. Looks like something Lego would put out in a small set. The surrounding set is a bit sparse though... I thought we talked about this "rushing to post" thing? It looks like you "wanted" to add more of a background but just said "Ah (bleep) it, I'm posting." If that wasn't the case, then perhaps not adding white plates at all would have been the way to go (keeping the other accesories mind you).

Moving on, let's talk about this line from your write up:

"It's sleek design allows it to get to people who are trapped or injured."

Good starting idea, but WHY does the design allow it to get to trapped or injured people? Giving a little more explaination here (and understanding why you would need to) are things that are going to bring your presentations up to the level you're striving for.

Yes I'm harsh on you, but it's because I see and KNOW you can do so much better. I'm really looking forward to version 3 of that last one we were talking about. The difference between versions one and two was about a hundred fold so I'm hoping to be blown away with the next one. Good luck!

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| October 7, 2010, 8:52 pm
My Dem Bones Haunted Halloween contest entry:
http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/229804
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| October 8, 2010, 5:55 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Eric Mickle
Kindof a practice MOC- http://mocpages.com/moc.php/228618 -NOTE: I dont have a billion tiles so its not studless. Im only really looking for feedback on the presentation.


"Presentation only" feedback. Sure,I can do that and it'll be quick too.

99.9% improvement!

I say that because in the 3rd pic from the bottom you can see the room behind the moc. If it were a huge build, then moving it may be an issue and completely understandable. However, with a small build like this, you could have simply turned the moc and taken the shot with the posterboard covering the background. It's the smal details like that that made this a 99% improvement instead of 100%.

It was a little easier to read the text with this one as well. I'd still suggest putting a couple more spaces in between the pics so the text is even easier to see which pic it goes with.

Overall, a great improvement! Keep it up!
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| October 8, 2010, 6:13 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Cade :D
My Dem Bones Haunted Halloween contest entry:
http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/229804


Ok, I sat here and looked at this for a good 10 minutes trying to find something to "critique" about it and... I got nothin'.

Great lighting, great pics, great concept... you got it all. If I HAD to nitpick and look for the tinest of tiny things that could have been better... "MAYBE" just giving a little bit more in the story part. But even there, it was well rounded and told the story that needed to be told. I mean, there COULD have been a little bit more info about the key (sure, it was buried deep, but buried "where" deep?). But man seriously, I'm like STRIVING to find something here because I know you guys come looking for what you could improve. You really don't need my help with this one though. You're golden.
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| October 8, 2010, 6:25 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Fruity Toucan
Can you rate this Chris.
http://mocpages.com/moc.php/229925


Patience young man... yours was next in the original line up. No need to delete the first post and repost it at the end to get my attention... Moving on.

Not a bad concept. There were a few things that stood out as improvement areas though.

Couldn't figure out why that cop was laying down in all the shots but the first one. Maybe it was supposed to be me and I was drunk? hehehe Ok, I know it was an accident and you didn't notice that he fell over. But these are the kinds of things you need to keep an eye out for.

The roof was a little... all over the place with all the different slopes, angles and bricks. Parts availability can play a role here I know, but something like that really needs uniformity.

And finally, story. Why didn't Jenny die and why did she crawl down into the sewer in the first place? Inquiring minds want to know...(ok, you're probably too young to get that joke). But jokes aside we really should be given a little more info on what's going on here. Remember, just because some piece of information is obvious to your mind doesn't mean it's obvious to all your readers.

Good luck!
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| October 8, 2010, 6:46 pm
 Group admin 
I'll be opening a 3rd thread in a moment.

Replies to already posted critiques are welcomed but please, any new links go in the next thread. Thank you.
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| October 8, 2010, 6:47 pm
Hey, could you critique my "The Sarlacc's Tooth"? And just The Sarlacc's Tooth please, you'd probably annihilate my Police Chase, and justifiably so...
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| April 8, 2011, 10:45 am
Can you add Bionicles here to be reviewed?

If so, then...

http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/266422

Thanks
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| June 11, 2011, 12:35 pm
Here's my first creation ;) http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/280069
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| August 3, 2011, 8:51 pm
Quoting Chris Phipson

Alrighty then, have at us!


This is my newest ship, and I personally think my best! Do you have any advice on how I could improve it?

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| August 19, 2011, 10:03 am
Quoting Chris Phipson
The first one was such a success and got REALLY long REALLY quickly so...

Thread number 2! Leave a link to the MOC you want reviewed and we'll get to it as soon as we can.

Anyone can give advice, but be nice. Like last time, first person to be "mean" gets the boot. There's a difference between constructive criticism and being evil. I trust you to know the difference.

Alrighty then, have at us!

Hey this is my first creation in a long while I want to know what you think of it and how I could improve it. http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/283380
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| August 25, 2011, 12:22 am
I feel like my MOCs are getting progressively better. I have been out of the game for awhile. My Goal is to make more with less. I think sometimes people forget that the majority of builders do not have a multi-thousand dollar collection of pieces (don't get me wrong I love the large scale builds and an completely jealous of collections out their). I just use what I had as a kid in the eighties and some updated blocks I bought used from a 14 year-old on craigslist (I feel like I should have told him he would regret selling them). I also find myself getting caught up in only giving good review when I myself am looking for some critiques on how I can improve. Steef de Prouw was able to give me some great advice that has influenced and improved my MOCs. As I have said before what is so great about this site is that inspires you to try something new.
Permalink
| September 15, 2011, 6:18 pm
http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/286303 This is my newest MOC, and my current favorite... I wanted to see if anyone had any tips on improving it.
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| September 15, 2011, 6:25 pm
Quoting Owen S.
http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/286303 This is my newest MOC, and my current favorite... I wanted to see if anyone had any tips on improving it.


I posted this on your pager as well:

I saw you looking on the Advice group for some feed back so here it goes: For me building MOCs is about the build and not the explanation or writing the goes with it. The write ups are nice but should be icing on the cake not the cake itself. I think the your MOC would have been better served by having the main character jumping from the roof of the TP'd house rather then a seemingly random cliff. Or perhaps out of a TP'd Tree in front of said house. I think the build should stand on its own without a write up and I wouldn't have know what was going on without it. Now what I really like about it: The Minifig in the tuck position is very cool. It takes me back to jumping in leaves myself. I also think that the contrast between grass and the pile of leaves is really nice. It really conveys what he is jumping into. And lastly the fence is well done. The contrast in color and the one plank askew makes it realistic. I hope this helps.

Permalink
| September 15, 2011, 10:42 pm
Quoting Brody Allen
I feel like my MOCs are getting progressively better. I have been out of the game for awhile. My Goal is to make more with less. I think sometimes people forget that the majority of builders do not have a multi-thousand dollar collection of pieces (don't get me wrong I love the large scale builds and an completely jealous of collections out their). I just use what I had as a kid in the eighties and some updated blocks I bought used from a 14 year-old on craigslist (I feel like I should have told him he would regret selling them). I also find myself getting caught up in only giving good review when I myself am looking for some critiques on how I can improve. Steef de Prouw was able to give me some great advice that has influenced and improved my MOCs. As I have said before what is so great about this site is that inspires you to try something new.


I felt like I need to add something because I felt I sounded like a whiner:

Sorry for the rambling I wasn't sure were to post this but thought the advice group would be a good start. Also, I think this is a thank you to Chris who is willing to really look at MOCs and give an honest opinion and creative criticism. I wish it happened more naturally.
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| September 15, 2011, 10:45 pm
I would like to get some advice on my latest MOC, I am open to all ears, http://mocpages.com/moc.php/286578, -Paulo R.
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| September 16, 2011, 9:43 pm
Can you critique on some of my stuff? Mostly my self-moc Tarshduk. But any thing is okay.
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| September 17, 2011, 10:33 am
Quoting Chris Phipson

Number one. When you upload your pics, you should do them as "large" size. The small thumbnails are just too hard to see and since we have the option (and it takes all of about 1.3 seconds to do it this way) use the large option so we don't have to squint to see the pics.


Hmmnnn, yes. I don't like the tiny pics at all, they're just so small that you have to click on nthem to see them which is quite annoying. Ah, well.
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| September 17, 2011, 10:58 am
http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/287025
I am most likely not gonna improve it, but I'm curious about what you guys think, because I'm gonna make a lot more ships. Don't point me on the sometimes blurry photo's, just what do you think of the build?
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| September 18, 2011, 5:50 am
Quoting Paulo Rodriguez
I would like to get some advice on my latest MOC, I am open to all ears, http://mocpages.com/moc.php/286578, -Paulo R.

Nice Looking truck and engine, The doors, gauges, and hoses all look great. My suggestions would be that the lights look a little thin and the whole build is SNOT except for the lights add some stud-less tinted pieces on top and I think it would be a good improvement. Also, I think the tires are a little small for the scale. Other then those small things really nice build.
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| September 19, 2011, 6:43 pm
Quoting Employee of the month (Hun-grr)
http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/287025
I am most likely not gonna improve it, but I'm curious about what you guys think, because I'm gonna make a lot more ships. Don't point me on the sometimes blurry photo's, just what do you think of the build?

I am not familiar with the game ship this MOC was based on so I will just comment on general building technique. I think the shape is good and there are a a lot of interesting angles. I would just try to be conscious about consistency. I am mainly speaking about brick configuration. For example SNOT or not, forward facing or seeing the back of panels. That way as your eyes go across it they aren't drawn to areas that you did not intend them to be drawn to. This also goes for color but your color usage is nice.
Permalink
| September 19, 2011, 6:54 pm
Quoting Brody Allen
Nice Looking truck and engine, The doors, gauges, and hoses all look great. My suggestions would be that the lights look a little thin and the whole build is SNOT except for the lights add some stud-less tinted pieces on top and I think it would be a good improvement. Also, I think the tires are a little small for the scale. Other then those small things really nice build.

Thanks Brody, The lights are the only things not done as I am yet to order 1x2 trans clear pieces, but I agree with you on the tires they do look smaller than they should be but the next size wheels are just to big, if only they made midsize wheels! -Paulo R.
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| September 19, 2011, 7:14 pm
Hey all, I'm new to the group and would love some feedback on this if you get some time http://mocpages.com/moc.php/291709 thanks and really anything is appreciated. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and doing a landscape type moc now and when its done would love some advice on that. Anyway glad to be aboard and look forward to learning more every day. Thanks again. ~cheers
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| October 26, 2011, 2:31 pm
Quoting Chris Phipson

http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/286992
Hi, I was just wondering if you have any suggestions on how to improve this, other than giving more texture to the water. Thanks!
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| October 26, 2011, 2:36 pm
Ok it's up and since this is my first try at anything like this any input is greatly appreciated http://mocpages.com/moc.php/292906 I'm pretty impressed but know it could be better. Thanks
Permalink
| October 27, 2011, 4:16 am
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