I believe that God wants us to focus on Him first, not on other young people. That is, until we are of an eligible age and maturity level. At that point in time, we can pray and ask God to lead are hearts to the right person. I believe that it is not our responsibility to try to find a mate, to try dating different people to see what personalities we like, etc. If we leave it up to God, He will put the right person in our path.
Our focus needs to be on Him. Others of the opposite sex who also are focusing on Him can be drawn together, but in a real way which places God at the center, not each others emotions. When we focus on Him, we aren't focusing on ourselves, and things go so much better. We are much more likely to get someone we really love and will have a better marriage with them then someone we choose ourselves.
Besides all that, the temptations to do foolish actions when emotions are blazing is way too strong, and far too real. I've personally seen two different pastor's children succumb to the desire, and it destroyed them. That's why I think we should not date, and have have girlfriend/boyfriend relationships. Getting to know the opposite sex in a controlled and safe environment is by far the best.
All that said, I sure do want to get married, but I want my marriage to honor God, not me! Permalink
Quoting Blake Baer
Kind of surprised this topic didn't show up earlier. This is a much debated topic in the Christian community actually. You would think that it would be simple to figure out but I guess some people are brain damaged...
Kaysh mirsh solus? :P Mando'a.
And you're right, you would think it would be a little more simple to figure out, or at least simple enough not to debate so fiercely.
That said, it is wise to know ones own limitations and pit falls. For each person is different to an extent. I know when I was 14 I had made a pact not to even think about dating until 16 at least, figuring at the time that at 18 one moves out of the house and can get married. Now 20 and still have not dated, still not dating because with the unforeseen at 14 how expensive things are I'm still at home.
From what I've seen from friends and family who have either had their hearts torn or have fallen into certain things not good I have concluded that if one dates for more than about 4 years on average something will fail, either with falling into something or just being torn apart. But this is an average, some its 2 years, others date for 5 and then get married and are going strong. Again, it depends on the person. But if there is no chance of getting married within four years I've seen it is best not to date. Again, averaged and roughly estimated, not scientific. :P
Best though to do is A-Pray and ask God for guidance. B-Follow how He leads, and wait until He does, either by His word(Bible), His Word(Jesus speaking to your spirit), or His speaking(Actually hearing words), or via His communication through others(ie. God tells someone to confirm to you something with them having no way of knowing you were asking Him for advice).
In fact that 2 piece formula is the best way to handle anything; Pray, patiently wait and then act upon His answer, done. Get so many people saying "It's this long formula, or its that" or people saying "There is no formula" And I say, "Your both wrong, its this very simple two part formula given to us multiple times through the Bible. Demonstrated by people from a simple farm boy turned king, David, to God's Word come down in lowly human form, Jesus. Permalink
Huh, if most people marry between 20-30 years old, then i'm not going to start dating until 21.
I mean, theres no point of putting the burden of feeding the mouths of your wife and children on your shoulders if you can't support yourself. Don't get married, let alone have children, before you get the basics going (e.g Work, money, houses, cars), and most certainly don't before you leave home.
Not that 12-year-olds should get involved in this sort of subject anyway. Permalink
I'm 15 and almost all my freinds (and everybody else) seem to think that just because i'm good freinds with a girl means that we HAVE to date/go out. I Get 'are you and ----- going out' or 'why aren't you and ----- going out' at least 5 times a day at the moment. the peer pressure is rediculous, and i can't even go to the cinema with her and my other freinds without rumours being spread around about us.
Because of this (and my being a christian) I am more determined than ever to ignore the whole matter, be JUST freinds with her and concentrate on my GCSE's.