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Jokes and Puns #1
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 Group admin 
Quoting Charlie A
Ok, Bill let me create this topic. Just keep the jokes clean and funny:)

Shoot, there go a lot of mine. :P
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| December 20, 2013, 9:58 pm
a man walked into a bar and said "ouch" (play on words)

what mythical creature lives on the moon?
a lunar-corn
oh dear. these aren't very punny at all.

no seriously, this hurts. these are terrible.
Permalink
| December 21, 2013, 2:57 am
Quoting Stormjay Rider
Shoot, there go a lot of mine. :P

I thought the same thing. Why does everything have to be clean. Chances are, if it's not funny if you have to change words or it has to go through moderation, it's too much, but then also if someone doesn't get it, that's their loss or they just aren't mature enough to get it. I had to try and explain a joke to a kid in another group 4 times and he still didn't get it, and it wasn't even bad. Amazing.
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| December 21, 2013, 8:18 am
Quoting Charlie A

you made my funny bone depressed:( .LOL

sorry. ;D
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| December 22, 2013, 2:40 am
What did the electrician feel like after a light bulb blew?

Delighted.
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| December 23, 2013, 12:17 am
Here is an entertaining thought to think about until you can't think because you've thunk to much to think anymore, feel free to thank me.

A quadrupedal table and a tripedal stool are carved from a unipedal tree, so what do bipedal benches get carved from?


The same tree.
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| December 23, 2013, 5:28 pm
Here is a few jokes.
Q.What do you call a man with no shins?
A.Tony
Q.What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo with sheep?
A.A Woolly Jumper
Q.Why did the opossum cross the road?
A.To Meet its flatmate
Thanks for reading this
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| December 25, 2013, 3:11 pm
 Group admin 
I watched a documentary on dairy products yesterday. It was really cheesy.
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| January 21, 2014, 1:58 pm
 Group admin 
There is a man with his friend and a parrot, the mans name is Joe. Joe goes with his friend in the car to the grand canyon, Joe then picks up his parrot and goes about half a foot from the edge, when his friend asks "what er ya doin?" Joe says "I'm going parrotshooting!" Then he jumps off... :P
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| January 26, 2014, 9:55 pm
A garbage truck driver, a teacher, and a lawyer die and go to the pearly gates.
St. Peter says they can only get in if they answer his questions correctly. He asks the garbage truck driver, "What was the name of the ship that sank about a hundred years ago? They made a movie about it recently."
The garbage truck driver says, "It was the Titanic." Peter says, "That's correct" and lets him into Heaven. Peter then asks the teacher, "About how many people died when the ship sunk?" The teacher replies, "About 1,500."
Peter says, "Correct," then lets him into Heaven. He then turns to the lawyer and says.
"Name them."
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| January 27, 2014, 4:23 pm
Bill, Joe, and Frank died and went to the entrance to Heaven. God tells them that they have to climb a thousand stairs, and that He would tell them a joke every 5th stair. If they laugh, they can't enter Heaven. The three start climbing. At the 100th stair, Frank laughs and therefore cannot enter Heaven. At the 600th stair, Joe laughs at a joke and gets banished. On the 999th stair, Bill starts laughing. God says, "I didn't tell a joke, why are you laughing?" Bill says, "I just got the first one."
Permalink
| February 8, 2014, 4:55 am
Quoting Sam Sanister
Bill, Joe, and Frank died and went to the entrance to Heaven. God tells them that they have to climb a thousand stairs, and that He would tell them a joke every 5th stair. If they laugh, they can't enter Heaven. The three start climbing. At the 100th stair, Frank laughs and therefore cannot enter Heaven. At the 600th stair, Joe laughs at a joke and gets banished. On the 999th stair, Bill starts laughing. God says, "I didn't tell a joke, why are you laughing?" Bill says, "I just got the first one."

HAHAHA! That's good one! XD
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| February 8, 2014, 4:20 pm
3 kids were arguing on whose dad made more money. The first kid said ,"My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a poem, gets 50 dollars." The 2nd kid says , "My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a song, gets paid 100 dollars." The 3rd kid says, "I got you both beat. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes 4 people to collect all the money."
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| February 19, 2014, 4:29 pm
There are two signs in a restaurant, one right above the other. the one on top says,
"Restrooms to the left."
The lower one says,
"Please wait for the waiter to seat you."
Permalink
| February 22, 2014, 3:38 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Sam Sanister
There are two signs in a restaurant, one right above the other. the one on top says,
"Restrooms to the left."
The lower one says,
"Please wait for the waiter to seat you."

O_o Nice. Pretty funny!
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| February 22, 2014, 3:53 pm
Quoting Aaron L.
HAHAHA! That's good one! XD

And he saw that it was funny, and he did roll upon the floor and laugh out loud.
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| February 26, 2014, 3:04 am
Man 1

There was this man with a wooden leg named Bob.

Man 2

Really? What was the name of the other leg?
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| February 26, 2014, 11:20 pm
I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are are in alphabetical order LIKE THEY SHOULD BE.
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| March 2, 2014, 4:26 am
Quoting Isaac B
Man 1
There was this man with a wooden leg named Bob.
Man 2
Really? What was the name of the other leg?
Haha, nice one!

Permalink
| March 7, 2014, 12:03 pm
Did you know?

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
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| April 1, 2014, 4:09 pm
What did the insect burglars say when the cops came in? "Flea!"
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| April 3, 2014, 5:14 pm
So a guy walks into a bar...
and says "I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle."

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| August 4, 2014, 1:57 am
Quoting Kevin Yoo
So a guy walks into a bar...
and says "I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle."

And that's not a joke because it's from the Terminator series.
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| August 4, 2014, 6:59 am
Quoting MCLegoboy !
And that's not a joke because it's from the Terminator series.

It's a variation of the "a guy walks into a bar..." joke. A joke is something said or done to cause laughter. And I'm pretty sure James Cameron intended that line to add humor to the movie.
Permalink
| August 4, 2014, 9:31 am
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