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Jokes and Riddles
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 Group admin 
Tell jokes and riddles here.



Permalink
| January 10, 2012, 3:38 pm
 Group admin 
Here's one of my faves:
Three men get in a plane, one brings aboard a banana, one an apple, and the other a bomb. Once on board, the first guy eats his banana and asks the flight intendant what he should do with his banana peel, and she replies, "Through it out the window." So he does. A few minutes later, the second man eats his apple and asks the lady what to do with his apple core. Again, she replies, "Through it out the window." So he does. The third guy asks what he should do with his bomb, as before, she tells him to through it out the window.
When the plane lands, the men go for a walk when they see a little boy crying. They ask him what's wrong and he tells them, "I was riding my bike when a banana peel lands infront of me and I slip on it." They appologize and continue on when they see a little girl crying, and so they ask her what's wrong. "I was walking when an apple fell on my head." They felt sorry and apoligized. A few steps later the spotted an old man laughing histarically and so they stopped and said, "What's so funny, old man?" The man looks at them and replies, "I farted and my house blew up."

Permalink
| January 10, 2012, 3:44 pm
 Group admin 
Two Virginia hunters, Bob and Fred, were going on a hunting trip. They get to where they wanted to be and started walking.

After about a half hour of walking, they sit down and take a rest.

Bob says to Fred" I'm not feeling to good".

Fred says" well, we can walk back to the truck.

Bob says" yeah lets do that".

So they start walking. About 15 minutes into the trip, Bob falls over. Fred panics and calls 911.

The operator answers and says" 911, what's your emergency?"

Fred says "My friend fell over with a heart attack, I think he's dead, what do i do"?

Operator says, "Well first make sure he's dead".

Fred says, "Ok".

The operator listens and hears a BANG!!!

Fred gets back on the phone and says, "Ok. He's dead... now what?"


Permalink
| January 11, 2012, 9:37 am
 Group moderator 
the last 1 is awsome!!
okay why did the girl get in trouble for feeding the fish?

answer:because she fed the fish 2 the cat!
Permalink
| January 11, 2012, 11:28 am
 Group moderator 
Quoting Jackson Williams
Here's one of my faves:
Three men get in a plane, one brings aboard a banana, one an apple, and the other a bomb. Once on board, the first guy eats his banana and asks the flight intendant what he should do with his banana peel, and she replies, "Through it out the window." So he does. A few minutes later, the second man eats his apple and asks the lady what to do with his apple core. Again, she replies, "Through it out the window." So he does. The third guy asks what he should do with his bomb, as before, she tells him to through it out the window.
When the plane lands, the men go for a walk when they see a little boy crying. They ask him what's wrong and he tells them, "I was riding my bike when a banana peel lands infront of me and I slip on it." They appologize and continue on when they see a little girl crying, and so they ask her what's wrong. "I was walking when an apple fell on my head." They felt sorry and apoligized. A few steps later the spotted an old man laughing histarically and so they stopped and said, "What's so funny, old man?" The man looks at them and replies, "I farted and my house blew up."

i heard that one i love it!
Permalink
| January 11, 2012, 11:30 am
There are 4 house
A green one, blue one, red one, white one
Mr green lives in the green house, Mr Blue live in the blue, Mr Red lives in the red house. Who lives in the white house?






















The president
Permalink
| January 11, 2012, 4:09 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Atlin Anderson
There are 4 house
A green one, blue one, red one, white one
Mr green lives in the green house, Mr Blue live in the blue, Mr Red lives in the red house. Who lives in the white house?























The president

Mr white.
Permalink
| January 11, 2012, 6:01 pm
You are stuck in a room with no way out, the only things in the room are a table and a mirror. What do you do?






































Answer: Go to the mirror, see what you saw. Grab the saw. Cut the table in two. Two halves make a hole. Climb out of the hole.
Permalink
| January 11, 2012, 8:30 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Jackson Williams
Two Virginia hunters, Bob and Fred, were going on a hunting trip. They get to where they wanted to be and started walking.

After about a half hour of walking, they sit down and take a rest.































HAHAH I love it!

Bob says to Fred" I'm not feeling to good".

Fred says" well, we can walk back to the truck.

Bob says" yeah lets do that".

So they start walking. About 15 minutes into the trip, Bob falls over. Fred panics and calls 911.

The operator answers and says" 911, what's your emergency?"

Fred says "My friend fell over with a heart attack, I think he's dead, what do i do"?

Operator says, "Well first make sure he's dead".

Fred says, "Ok".

The operator listens and hears a BANG!!!

Fred gets back on the phone and says, "Ok. He's dead... now what?"



Permalink
| January 11, 2012, 8:41 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Jackson Williams
Two Virginia hunters, Bob and Fred, were going on a hunting trip. They get to where they wanted to be and started walking.

After about a half hour of walking, they sit down and take a rest.

Bob says to Fred" I'm not feeling to good".

Fred says" well, we can walk back to the truck.

Bob says" yeah lets do that".

So they start walking. About 15 minutes into the trip, Bob falls over. Fred panics and calls 911.

The operator answers and says" 911, what's your emergency?"

Fred says "My friend fell over with a heart attack, I think he's dead, what do i do"?

Operator says, "Well first make sure he's dead".

Fred says, "Ok".

The operator listens and hears a BANG!!!

Fred gets back on the phone and says, "Ok. He's dead... now what?"


That's a good one;) Did you get that from Mr. Viking?!?
Permalink
| January 20, 2012, 3:32 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Justin M
That's a good one;) Did you get that from Mr. Viking?!?

Yup!!!
Permalink
| January 20, 2012, 5:17 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Jackson Williams
Yup!!!

I thought so:]
Permalink
| January 20, 2012, 7:34 pm
Quoting Popcorn .
You are stuck in a room with no way out, the only things in the room are a table and a mirror. What do you do?






































Answer: Go to the mirror, see what you saw. Grab the saw. Cut the table in two. Two halves make a hole. Climb out of the hole.

i dont get it!!!
Permalink
| January 23, 2012, 10:00 pm
Whats the best way to catch a fish?


















Have someone throw it to you!!
Permalink
| January 24, 2012, 5:24 pm
 Group moderator 
What does a father buffalo say to his son when the son leaves?



























































Bison!
Permalink
| January 27, 2012, 11:35 am
Quoting Vladimir R.
If you eat yourself, will you be twice larger or you disappear? (or stay same?)

Uhhhhh.... WHAT!!
Permalink
| January 27, 2012, 10:42 pm
A toucan, an elephant, two penguins, a gecko, thirteen chickens, and a giraffe are all under one umbrella. who gets wet?















None, it wasn't raining!
Permalink
| January 28, 2012, 10:59 am
 Group admin 
Quoting Pure Epicness
A toucan, an elephant, two penguins, a gecko, thirteen chickens, and a giraffe are all under one umbrella. who gets wet?














None, it wasn't raining!

Haha don't put the anser un till some people guess it is more fun that way.
Permalink
| January 31, 2012, 10:01 am
How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
















Open the door put him in and close the door.

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?













Open the door take out the elephant put the giraffe in and close the door.

Okay The King of the Jungle called an animal conference. All the animals came except one. Which was it.










The giraffe remember he is in the fridge.

Okay so Safari John has to cross a river filled with crocodiles and he doesn't have a boat. How does he do it?











He just jumps in and wades over to the other side. all of the crocodiles are at the animal conference.
Permalink
| January 31, 2012, 10:07 am
Quoting Commander Starblaster (Turning 11 on today!!)
How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
















Open the door put him in and close the door.

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?













Open the door take out the elephant put the giraffe in and close the door.

Okay The King of the Jungle called an animal conference. All the animals came except one. Which was it.










The giraffe remember he is in the fridge.

Okay so Safari John has to cross a river filled with crocodiles and he doesn't have a boat. How does he do it?











He just jumps in and wades over to the other side. all of the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

I love that joke series!
Permalink
| January 31, 2012, 11:20 am
 Group moderator 
What did the Blackbird say to the Finch?
Permalink
| February 2, 2012, 9:34 am
Quoting Silent MountainRanger
What did the Blackbird say to the Finch?

RAINBOWS!!!!!
Permalink
| February 2, 2012, 9:35 am
 Group admin 
Quoting Will A.
RAINBOWS!!!!!

Hahahaha! Wait what?!
Permalink
| February 2, 2012, 4:24 pm
What car should you stay away from and may bite you?
Permalink
| February 2, 2012, 4:28 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Zack .
What car should you stay away from and may bite you?

Know clue!
Permalink
| February 12, 2012, 10:39 am
Quoting Justin M
Know clue!


A Dodge Viper! XD
Permalink
| February 12, 2012, 10:40 am
 Group admin 
Quoting Zack .

A Dodge Viper! XD

Good one;)
Permalink
| February 12, 2012, 10:41 am
Quoting Justin M
Good one;)


:D


Permalink
| February 12, 2012, 10:42 am
 Group admin 
Quoting Zack .

:D


:]
Permalink
| February 12, 2012, 10:44 am
 Group admin 
you go into a hanted house with no power do you go up or down it does not matter the are two doors do you go in the blue one or the red one. the gousts cache you and are going to kill you do you want them to shoot you or put you in the eletric chair





anser :eletric chair the powers out
Permalink
| March 5, 2012, 11:27 am
 Group admin 
Quoting comander paul
you go into a hanted house with no power do you go up or down it does not matter the are two doors do you go in the blue one or the red one. the gousts cache you and are going to kill you do you want them to shoot you or put you in the eletric chair





anser :eletric chair the powers out

Funny!
Permalink
| March 5, 2012, 12:56 pm
 Group moderator 
what has 18 legs and catches flies?


















































A baseball team!
Permalink
| March 5, 2012, 1:02 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Jackson Williams
Here's one of my faves:
Three men get in a plane, one brings aboard a banana, one an apple, and the other a bomb. Once on board, the first guy eats his banana and asks the flight intendant what he should do with his banana peel, and she replies, "Through it out the window." So he does. A few minutes later, the second man eats his apple and asks the lady what to do with his apple core. Again, she replies, "Through it out the window." So he does. The third guy asks what he should do with his bomb, as before, she tells him to through it out the window.
When the plane lands, the men go for a walk when they see a little boy crying. They ask him what's wrong and he tells them, "I was riding my bike when a banana peel lands infront of me and I slip on it." They appologize and continue on when they see a little girl crying, and so they ask her what's wrong. "I was walking when an apple fell on my head." They felt sorry and apoligized. A few steps later the spotted an old man laughing histarically and so they stopped and said, "What's so funny, old man?" The man looks at them and replies, "I farted and my house blew up."

that's just great!
Permalink
| March 5, 2012, 1:03 pm
 Group admin 
Ok here's one, A drunk walk's into a bar and asked the bartender if he can have a drink, the bartender say's no. So the drunk walks out of the bar. The drunk then come's in through the side door, he asked the bartender if he could have a drink. The bartender say's, I thought you were just in here, now get out! So the drunk walk's out. Then he come's in through the back door. He asked the barteneder if he could have a drink, the bartender said if you come in here one more time, I'm going to call the Cops. The drunk then say's, man no bars in this town will serve me.
Permalink
| March 21, 2012, 11:54 am
 Group admin 
I got this from Josh E,
There were 3 guys out in an old farmers backyard doing cookies. When the farmer finds them he told them to come to him. when they got there he told them "Go out to my garden and pick ten of you favorite fruit." So they all did that. When the first one got back with grapes the farmer told him "Cram it up your nose." "what?" he asked. "Just do what I say," says the farmer. Then the second one comes back with strawberries and the farmer tells him "Shove them up your nose," "What?" he asks. And the farmer tells him "Just do it." When he gets to about the third one he starts dying laughing and the farmer asks him, "Whats so funny?" "Freds out there picking watermelons!" the boy says.
Permalink
| March 21, 2012, 11:55 am
 Group moderator 
Why should you never defend yourself agaisnt a dragon with pepper spray?











We all know what happens when a dragon sneezes right?
Permalink
| May 14, 2012, 11:33 am
 Group admin 
Quoting King's Ranger (Formorly Ranger, Just Ranger)
Why should you never defend yourself agaisnt a dragon with pepper spray?

Lol!









We all know what happens when a dragon sneezes right?


Permalink
| May 17, 2012, 8:49 am
 Group admin 
Quoting King's Ranger (Formorly Ranger, Just Ranger)
Why should you never defend yourself agaisnt a dragon with pepper spray?












We all know what happens when a dragon sneezes right?


Lol, that's a good one!
Permalink
| May 17, 2012, 11:51 am
 Group admin 
Suppercalifragilisticexpialadotious is a really long word, say it.


































if you didn't say "it" then you're wrong
Permalink
| May 22, 2012, 9:08 pm
 Group admin 
A guy walks into a bar, was it serving beer, or whine?
Permalink
| May 22, 2012, 9:10 pm
 Group admin 
Why did the guy who dove off the ten meter high platform not live to tell about it?
Permalink
| May 22, 2012, 9:13 pm
 Group admin 
Ok there is a blone girl a brown haired girl and a green haired girl. You walk up to the first girl nice hair you say thanks it is natral you say the same to the second girl she says the same you walk up to the girl with gree hair uh nice hair you say she say thanks it is natral and at the same time she wiped her nose and wipes her hair get it?


Permalink
| May 22, 2012, 9:14 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting commander paul
Ok there is a blone girl a brown haired girl and a green haired girl. You walk up to the first girl nice hair you say thanks it is natral you say the same to the second girl she says the same you walk up to the girl with gree hair uh nice hair you say she say thanks it is natral and at the same time she wiped her nose and wipes her hair get it?


Ewww, LOL. Yes, I get "it."
Permalink
| May 23, 2012, 9:03 am
 Group admin 
Quoting commander paul
Ok there is a blone girl a brown haired girl and a green haired girl. You walk up to the first girl nice hair you say thanks it is natral you say the same to the second girl she says the same you walk up to the girl with gree hair uh nice hair you say she say thanks it is natral and at the same time she wiped her nose and wipes her hair get it?



Yep, I get it.
Permalink
| May 23, 2012, 2:13 pm
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