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Write your jokes here. The old convo was really unorganized so I am locking it. Now write your jokes!
Permalink
| September 27, 2011, 9:51 pm
Quoting 12Lego Greendude
Write your jokes here. The old convo was really unorganized so I am locking it. Now write your jokes!

Two rednecks were walking through the woods, when one guy drops to the ground, motionless. The other guy calls 911.- 911, what is your emergency? I think my friend had a heart attack, what do I do? First, make sure he is dead. !!BOOM!! Now what?

Permalink
| September 28, 2011, 4:50 pm
A man walks into a bar. Ouch. <=/
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| July 13, 2012, 10:06 pm
Two horses are sitting in a bar. One says "I lost the race today cos' I fell". The other horse says "I won the race yesterday because I tricked the horses."Then a German Shepard walks into the bar. He says "Hey guys, whatcha been doing lately?" One of the horses whispers to the other horse saying "Look. A talking dog!"
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| July 13, 2012, 10:56 pm
WARNING THIS JOKE IS KIND OF DIRTY! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

So a penguin is having car trouble and brings it into the shop. The mechanic says come back in an hour and I'll tell you what was wrong. So the penguin goes to the ice cream shop. Penguins can't use forks so he uses his flippers, and gets ice cream all over his face. he heads back to the ice cream shop and the mechanic says "Looks like you blew a seal" He replies "No, no, It's Just ice cream"
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| July 14, 2012, 2:40 pm
A family is hiking through the Forrest and the dad trips over a stick the mom says "if it were a snake it would have bit you". The stick turned into a cobra and bites the dad on the leg and the mom says "yeah kinda like that".
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| August 3, 2012, 8:09 pm
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get the LA times. Get it?
No.
Me neither. I prefer TV news.
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| August 4, 2012, 1:10 am
What do you get when you cross a spider a snake and a fire ant. Bit.
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| August 9, 2012, 11:26 pm
I was in a bar, having a drink, and two other guys walk in. The first guy said to the second guy, "It's your round, Donkey", and "Donkey" says "Oh-oh-okay". Donkey goes up to the bar. "Tuh-tuh-two, guh-guh-guh" The bartender interrupts him.
"Two Guinisses?"
"Yee-yee-yeah"
So the other guy goes out for a bit, and I start talking to Donkey, and I'm like "It's not nice that that guy calls you Donkey." and he replies "'e oh-'e oh- 'e OHLWAYS calls me that!!"

kinda corny, oh well...
Permalink
| August 10, 2012, 8:20 am
Quoting Strakk The Glatorian
WARNING THIS JOKE IS KIND OF DIRTY! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

So a penguin is having car trouble and brings it into the shop. The mechanic says come back in an hour and I'll tell you what was wrong. So the penguin goes to the ice cream shop. Penguins can't use forks so he uses his flippers, and gets ice cream all over his face. he heads back to the ice cream shop and the mechanic says "Looks like you blew a seal" He replies "No, no, It's Just ice cream"

Haha I'll have to remember that one
Q What do you call a cow with a twitch.
A Beef jerky.
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| August 13, 2012, 10:51 pm
You know your a redneck when your a grade higher than your parents in elementary school.
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| August 27, 2012, 9:07 pm
A trained monkey walks into a cafe and orders a beverage. The man at the counter, astonished, tells him the beverage is $15. The monkey hands him the cost in dollar bills. A few minutes later, the monkey walks out of the cafe with his beverage. The man says to a customer, "Ain't it amazin'?" The customer's reply "It's amazing, alright. It's amazing you charge $15 for a beverage."
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| September 4, 2012, 10:48 am
Fwooooom

man1:"ow how did this bird get in here?"


Man2:"This is an aircraft hanger, so how do you think sir?"

Man1:"True well I knew that much but why did that plane have to hit me?"
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| November 6, 2012, 8:39 pm
What do you call a cow with no legs?

GROUND BEEF!
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| November 11, 2012, 10:23 am
Hee hee

Sir what are you laughing at?

That Guy over there.

Sir that's a mirror and that's your reflection.
Permalink
| November 11, 2012, 11:48 am
If no one finds my jokes funny I'm sorry it is very difficult to convey tone through typing.
Permalink
| November 22, 2012, 12:22 pm
Please, for the love of all things with eyeballs, hide the women and children. Then you may continue reading.


Have you ever read the book Why Cars Stop by M. T. Tank? Or how about Fattening Vegetables by O. Beats?

Not a fan of books? Fine then. How about a little story?

So, a duck walks into a grocery store, and asks the clerk at the check out for the manager. The clerk says that he I'd the manager and kindly asks what he can do for the duck. The duck then asks if they sell grapes. The manager shakes his head and kindly explains that they do not sell grapes. So the duck leaves. The next day, the duck comes back to the same store and asks the manager if he sells grapes. "No, we do not sell grapes here." The manager says, quite frustrated at the duck. So, the duck leaves. The next day, the duck comes back. "Do you sell grapes?" The duck asks the manager for a third time. "No! We do not sell grapes! And if you ask if we sell grapes again I'll nail your bill to the floor!" The manager tells angrily. So, the duck leaves. The next day, the duck is back again. "Do you sell nails?" The duck asks. "No, we do not sell nails." The manager says, still rather frustrated. "Good." The duck says, "Do you sell grapes?"
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| November 22, 2012, 2:44 pm
One man shows another man a funny video on youtube. "wow I haven't laughed that hard since the time I fell off my pet dinosaur."
"I know, I got it on camera, here watch."
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| February 27, 2013, 6:07 pm
Twelve dwarves walk into their home to find a fair young women sleeping in their home- we interrupt this program because we find the rest of this joke unsuitable for people under the age of 18 so please look at this funny picture of a kitten in a box. Thank you.
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| April 6, 2013, 9:07 pm
Three escaped mental patients walking down the railroad tracks. One of them says: "Oh, how long these stairs are." The second one says: "They could have put those handrails a bit higher." Then the third one replies: "Don't worry guys, here comes the elevator."
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| April 20, 2013, 6:21 pm
3 blondes are stuck on an island in the middle of a river. One says " I wish I were smart enough to know how to swim" she turns into a red head and swims across. The second says " I wish I were smart enough to make it across without getting wet" she turns into a brunette builds a raft and floats across. The third says "I wish I were smart enough to not have gotten myself into this mess" she turns into a man, dissappears, then reappears on the opposite shore.
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 9:29 am
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