In this topic you can write jokes or quotes made by you or someone else..... :)
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Quote-

Everything is a weapon; figuring out how to use it is the hard part.

~Commander Trixe
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Quote/Joke-

It takes no brains to use your Brain....(actually it does)

~Max Watrous
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THE CHRISTMAS DINNER JOKE-

Brother- I'll be right back; gotta use the bathroom....(talking while running)

Aunt- Have fun!

Sister- Hey guys! Raise your hand if your an American!

(Everyone at table raises there hand)

Sister- I guess Brother is not an American.....

Uncle- Maybe he is European!

(Everyone at tables laughs)

Uncle- Earliar he was Russian!

(Everyone at table laughs again)

Uncle- Hopefully soon he'll be Finish. (not sure how to spell that)

(Everyone laughs loudly at table)

Brother- What did I miss? (says this while walking back to table)

END

~Max Watrous


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Quote-

The two things clothes can do are loose value and keep you covered.

~Max Watrous
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COME ON peeps! Know any jokes or quotes? Want to show off any of your own? Write them here! :)
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I got a couple.


More time here is less time there. >Eric Mickle


Don't get mad, get even. >JFK


From Get Smart-
Laroby- I'm a trained killer you know. I can kill you with anything in this office. Do you want to die by post-its? because I can make that happen!
91- and that's a slow death.

I guess that goes with the 'anything is a weapon' quote.


OH! That 'An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind' quote- eh, payback is a strong message.


Last one-
"Violence is wrong! EFFECTIVE, but wrong." >Eric Mickle

That's all for now.
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"Violence is not the answer. Instead, it is the question, and the answer is yes." -friend of mine
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A COUPLE QUOTES-

No one can REALLY LIVE without love. ~Max Watrous

Even hearts are weapons.....
Be sure to use them for good. ~Max Watrous
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POTY STORE JOKE-

Once there was a poty store that sold three different kinds of potys-

1- Wooden Potys

2- Mettle potys

3- Singing potys

Three guys come in and buy one of each...

ONE HOUR LATER.....

All three guys come back to return the potys they bought with complaints.....

Guy 1- I'm returning this poty cause whenever I sit on it I get splinters in my but.

Guy 2- I'm returning my poty cause my but close to freezes when I sit on it.

Guy 3- I'm gonna return this poty cause whenever I sit on it, it sings:
"Can you see what I seeeee?"

END

~A friend of a friend of a friend of a friend etc.....


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MORE QUOTES-

Sounding dumb does make you funnier. ~Max

The funniest people in the world have some kind of mental issues. ~Max

PS- I guess I'm not one of the funniest people in the world then! :)
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ANOTHER QUOTE-

Life is to short to be impatient. ~Max
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"All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Victory belongs to the most persevering."
- Napoleon Bonaparte

"Now I am the master."
- Darth Vader

"Thus sayeth the All Knowing Wikipedia."
- CY-EV

"It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious."
- Murphy

"If you can't talk to strangers, then how do you meet people?" - Me.
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Come on people know any jokes that can make you leak?
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Hold on a sec.
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What do you mean hold on a sec? Whatever..... :D
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It was a while ago. That was the joke. :D
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Oh..... :D
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Anyone? : /
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Any jokes anyone?
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There are a lot of you people on here...Don't you know any jokes or quotes?
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Well, my bro recently sent over some chuck norris jokes, so I'll give them a try...

--There is no such thing as the Theory of Evolution, only Chuck Norris deciding which animals live.
--Chuck Norris has been to Mars, which is why we can't find any signs of life there.
--Chuck Norris could fry ants with a magnifying glass...at night.
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Crazy love the second one
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--Many people think industrial logging is the cause for deforestation, but the truth is that Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
--If Chuck Norris was an answer, there would be no question: Chuck Norris answers to nobody.
--There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but they had to change it because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
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Church- *sarcastically* Oh an empty concrete base, is it our birthday?
Caboose- I want cake.

I have a ton more RvB quotes.
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--Chuck Norris can moonwalk on the sun.
--Hand sanitizer kills 99.9% of germs. Chuck Norris kills 101% of just about everything he wants.
--Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick and enemy with his chin.
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Caboose- Sargent, look! A sleeping person!
Sarge- What? Holy macaroon!
*sarge investigates the 'sleeping' blue soldier*
Sarge-He's not sleeping son, he's dead.
Caboose- Oh good. At first... I thought it was me... because I like to sleep. But if he is dead that cannot be me... that would be silly.
Sarge- We'll on the bright side there's one less blue in the universe, but now DOC'S GOT A BIGGER BODY COUNT THAN ME! And that just won't do.
*Caboose walks away*
Sarge-*faces the dead blue* Rest in piece... Scumbag!
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light, not because he is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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"Workers of all lands, unite!" -Karl Marx

Yes, I'm a socialist. I'm against right oriented politics, they make the rich richer and the poor poorer. And above all, I am anti-fascist/nazi.
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Lol

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My 3 favorite quotes:

3) "It's good to be bad, but it's better to be evil."

2) "It is foolish and wrong to mourn those that died. Rather, we should thank God that such men lived!" -4 Star General George Patton, U.S. Army

1) Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Be smart. Be evil.

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Hahaha!
(While attempting to drive a Scorpion tank) "Why are there 6 pedals but only 4 directions?!?" -Caboose
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